Wherefore Art Thou Chapter?

My chapter is missing. I have emailed Anna to ask her what has happened to it but as she won't be back in the office till the 30th, I haven't had an answer yet. This is my contest entry chapter I'm talking about. Don't they understand that millions of people are waiting with bated breath for this to appear? Don't they know that my inbox is groaning under the weight of the hundreds of thousands of emails that people are sending me asking me, "Jackie, for the love of all that's holy, where is your fabulous chapter? We're desperate to read it!"
Well, okay, maybe not millions, or even hundreds of thousands. Maybe five. But still.

The longer it takes, the more embarassed I feel about it. I've learned so much since I wrote it that all I can see are the archetypes I made my characters and the great, gaping holes in the conflict. Oh, what am I talking about? There wasn't any conflict! At least not good, internal, Modern Heat conflict. Ah well, c'est la vie. At least it will be a good example to others about what NOT to do. :-)

Aaaaanyway, now I shall resume twiddling my thumbs, whistling tunelessly and not managing to write a word while I continue to wait....

Caving in to My Mother

Yes, I finally did it, I gave my mother my ms to read. Seeing as how she is the orgininal Ashenden, I thought she'd better have a look just in case it actually sees the light of day and on the off chance she didn't want her name being attached to anything she didn't like. I did feel compelled to tell her that it had 'sexy bits' in it. She just gave me a slightly exasperated look and said, in very dry tones, "It's not like I don't know anything about that, Jackie." Cue nervous laughter from her daughter.

Anyway, am feeling totally weird. I know everyone said to relax before the revisions come but I just can't. I keep thinking about the ms and wondering if the things that are wrong with it are the things that they thought too or are they something completely different! But that's a rhetorical question and a pointless rhetorical question at that - no way of knowing until I hear back. Currently the ms is in its fifth draft (whenever I make significant changes I always save it in a new draft so I can go back to the old one if need be) so you can see how many times I've changed the wretched thing. The main problem is that I'm retro-fitting an older ms that I wrote before I had a real idea about conflict. Consequently I had to redo the conflict which means heaps of rewrites. So hard! I probably should have put in the story I wrote for Nanowrimo instead. That's all done and semi-polished and the conflict is much better. Ah well, too late now.

Being a Militant Romance Writer

We've been having houseguests, very old and very dear friends who are extremely supportive of my writing. However, they do not have a romantic or sentimental bone in their bodies and think romance as a genre is... Well as one of them put it: "who reads that sh*t?". Whereupon I climbed up on my soapbox and delivered a stern message about who exactly reads that sh*t (academics, lawyers, supposed literary types) and what the purpose of said sh*t is. Poor guy, after my lecture, he just shook his head and told me that he just didn't get it. Fair enough. I don't get people's fascination with reading sports books. In his defence, he did proof a synopsis for me when I put in my very first partial and did not laugh or poke fun or anything like that. He proofed it well, asked me questions about it and took it seriously. So I forgive him.

Anyway, everyone else I know has thought the whole me writing romance thing fantastic. There has been no scorn poured, no mickey taken, no lip curling. I have had the odd 'so are you going to write anything else?' question but apart from that, the response has been great.

Anyone else had similiar experiences when asked what you write? Or have there been the odd person who has veiwed romance writing as similiar to admitting you like to pull the wings off flies now and then or you drown kittens in your spare time?

One Step Closer

Okay, I cannot believe the speed with which this has happened but I got an email from Anna this morning telling me she really liked my full ms! Woohoo!!! Excuse the exclamation marks but, y'know, I'm quite pleased about it. She was very impressed that I'd taken on board their suggestions, that hero and heroine were characters in their own right and not just the way they were to serve the plot (note to self, conflict driven not setup driven!), oh yes and she liked the ending.

Anyway, there are some revisions I need to do concerning the pace, the motivation and the conflict - not much then! - which she and Jenny will forward to me at the beginning of February. Argh! Can't wait to get my teeth into it though. I knew after I'd sent it that more work was needed and I'm just so pleased they going to give me the opportunity.

So, I am officially not stressing about it - until revision time! :-)

Heroes I have Known...

I've been having crap sleep at the moment, mainly due to my OCWD (obsessive compulsive writing disorder) and stressing about what I should have put in the ms that's with M&B now. Usually I try to distract myself by thinking about my current wip instead but last night, I got to thinking about all my previous stories. These are ones that myself and a friend used to write and swap. They were romances that were written totally for ourselves, with no guidelines to follow or editors to worry about. Totally self indulgent but absolutely fabulous to write.

Anyway, I have to confess that I totally fell for the hero of the last of these romances. Absolutely and completely. I like a gorgeous, bad, self tortured hero (their redemption is so much more poignant) so I made him gorgeous, bad, and yes, I tortured the hell out of this poor guy. I put him through the emotional wringer. The worse his behaviour, the more self tortured he got and the better I liked him (yes, I am a sadist to my characters, the poor dears). Anyway, he got his HEA in the end but I have to admit that I was sad to finish writing about him. And I wish, wish, wish, I could put him in one of my M&Bs but sadly, he's too mad, bad and dangerous to know for the guidelines (okay, so not mad but you know what I mean). Maybe one day I'll polish that ms as a single title and sub to...somewhere. But until then it remains on my PC, my secret treat that I read when I need a dark hero fix. I should move on really, but I do find that parts of him creep into my Modern Heat heroes, every now and then...

So, what about anyone else? Got a favourite hero that you can't forget?

Being Obssessive Compulsive

It's true, I am absolutely obssessive compulsive about my writing. I was told off yesterday by the husband for spending the weekend in front of my computer. I'm trying to make this a full time job you see so the plan was to limit writing to during the week, just like any other job. However, unfortunately the way I work doesn't quite fit in with the 9 - 5 model. When I have a new idea or get really into a current one I HAVE to write. I simply don't want to do anything else. If I'm forced to do something, my head will just not be on anything other than the story I'm thinking about.
No wonder my the husband was annoyed with me. Since trying to write full time, he's probably wondering where on earth his wife went!

Anyone else write like this? Or is it just me??

Congrats Lucy!!

Just want to add my congratulations to Lucy Roberts who has just sold to M&B Modern Heat. As the winner of the Feel the Heat competition, her sale was kind of in the bag just a bit. :-)
Way to go, Lucy! The rest of us are simply green - in the nicest possible way of course.

Meanwhile, back in the good ole Southern Hemisphere, the crows of doubt have been at me. Couldn't sleep last night due to a sudden realisation about something I missed out in my manuscript. Is it something that they would reject it for? Who knows?? I'm now sure I'll be getting the big R anyway. Think the waiting on this one isn't going to be as easy as I thought. I have just read From Slush to Shelf, which is an article about the path of a full manuscript when it reaches Harlequin M&B. Methinks I shall be waiting a looooong time....

Gwendoline Quadd

I was tidying up my disaster area of study yesterday and discovered an old note with some names on it. Took me a while to figure out what it was but then I remembered. About ten years ago, when I was but a youngster, I had an idea I'd try writing a Mills and Boon. This was greeted with much mirth by the family (we'd had a few wines) who then decided to find me a pen name. In fact 13 pen names. As follows:

Millicent Moncrieff
Winona Wycliffe
Prunella Essence
Margaret Offenburger
Olga Spratt
Mabel Tallstorei
Amelia Blyndsythe
Thomasina Pratt
Petronella Pedal
Pamela Pooch
Petronella Wibbley
Eva Glockenkoff
And my personal favourite - Gwendoline Quadd

Was I an idiot? Oh yes, indeed. Not unexpectedly, my pen name is/will be (if the gods of romance are kind) none of the above. I'm going be the relatively staid Jackie Ashenden. The Ashenden part is my mother kindly letting me use her maiden name - thanks Mum. I could use my own name which is Coates but it didn't have enough flair. There's my husband's name (which I didn't take) which is Vroegop. Maybe there's a certain je ne sais quoi about Jackie Vroegop which I'm not aware of...? :-) Anyway, anyone else going to use a pen name?

It's Gone

Have sent off the manuscript and it has been received by M&B. They said they'd get right on it ASAP. I am preparing for a six month wait at least.

Now what am I going to do?

Perhaps I shall entertain myself with Confessions of a Slush Pile Reader.

Back to Work

Am now back from a week and a half of lazing around doing nothing at the beach. Fantastic to have some time off but am now distinctly unmotivated. Have no resolutions to speak of and am heartily sick of the manuscript I have to post to Anna at M&B. Read the hard copy while I was away and have come to terms with the idea that it is now TOO LATE to do any rewriting. Sigh. It's due on the 15th so only enough time to correct spelling mistakes and then concentrate on my least favourite task: the synopsis.

Oh well. I did in the end give it to a romance reading relative while away. She liked it - at least she told me that she didn't even get up to get a sandwich because she was right in the middle of it, even though she was really hungry! Oh, and she liked the sex scenes too. Which is good to know. No one wants to know they write a bad love scene...

Anyway, does anyone else give their stories to friends/relatives to read? My mother is hassling me to give it to her but I'm not sure about her reading it. Especially the naughty bits!

Happy 2009!

New Year here in NZ and it's a gloriously hot and sunny day. Hard not to feel that this is going to be a good one...
We're up north from tomorrow for another week and a bit of holiday. Manuscript is all printed out and ready for proofing, and the little PC is packed and ready to go so I can edit. Mustn't tell all the rest of DH's family (who will be on holiday with us) that I have my ms with me otherwise they will demand to read it. Worse, in a moment of weakness (after a few wines, let's say) I may let them!

Note to self: must not work on fabulous new idea until present story is complete. Actually, that can be my New Year's resolution: I should be faithful to the story I'm writing now and not go off flirting and having lots of fun with exciting new ideas...

Anyway, hope everyone has a great New Year with lots of good news for those of us who are sending or are going to send submissions out!

And for those pondering the age old question: can a man write Mills and Boon? Here is the answer...