Calm the $%* Down - Tips for the Over-Optimistic Writer

I am an optimist. No, really, I am. "But you run your subs down ALL the time!'' I hear my CPs shout. It's true, I do that. But that's just a cunning front. Because deep inside, I am an honest to God, genuine, over-the-top optimist. And not in a 'I think my sub isn't too bad and perhaps I might get a request for more this time' way. In a 'OMG, what if the editor loves this SO MUCH she calls me before she's even finished the first page and offers me a million dollar contract right there and then???' way.

It's giant pain in the butt. Every single time I send out a sub or enter a contest, this little piping voice is going "Hey hey hey! What if...???" And no matter how I try to ignore it, some part of me is nodding and thinking, 'yeah...wouldn't that be awesome?' So when I actually get the 'This submission is so bad, my dog could write it better than you'* letter it is GUTTING. Because although I tell myself it's fine, deep down I'm envisaging movie rights and Angelina Jolie in the title role. It sucks and so I have to stomp on this little voice because all the things its telling me are Never. Going. To. Happen.

However, the problem with this is that then you start sounding negative about everything due to the fact that you're constantly talking yourself down. And you don't really want to be doing that either. So what can you do about it? How to deal with the disappointment?

Well, I have taken the liberty of compiling a little list (warning, use at your own risk):

1. Knock your head repeatedly against a wall until a) the voice shuts up or b) you knock yourself unconscious.
2. Compromise. If it will stop telling you the editors are SO going to ring you at 3am to tell you how much they love it and are going to publish it RIGHT NOW, then you'll stop trying to tell it that in fact the editors will be sending YOU a request letter requesting that you never submit to them again.
3. Let it have its fun. Listen to its siren songs. Then go off and have as martinis as you need to forget you ever listened to it in the first place.
4. Stick your fingers in your ears, sing 'lalalala' loudly until you can't hear it anymore.
5. Book yourself into a nice little hospital for a nice little 'rest'.
6. Give into it. Believe everything it says. Then write rejection letters to publishers rejecting their rejections.
7. Pack it up in a box labelled 'Satan', push it to the back of your mind, and get lost in writing your next book.

Okay, so is this sounding as mad as I think it does? Or does anyone else out there have OTT Optimists that need settling down too?

*Not an actual quote from an actual rejection in case you were wondering.

Jackie Is In the House

Back again from the hell that was the beach with no internet access.... Okay, so it wasn't entirely hell but being separated from my lovely net was definitely no picnic. At least I had the iPad. You do know how much I love this thing right? I'm calling it Brad on Twitter since every time I actually mention the word, 'iPad' on Twitter I get inundated with spam. So, Brad and me...well, we go together like toast and jam. I extolled his virtues to all who would listen and indeed, I even got a sale. I should work for Apple really.

But anyway, the really good thing is that Brad is a joy to write on. I have a special keyboard I plug Brad into and Robert's your father's brother. You just write, you don't even have to save because it saves automatically. No worries about stupid technology crashing. It's awesome. And the games...

Ahem, sorry, I didn't want my first blog post to be about Brad. What I meant to say was that the Hammer Pants ms is now a complete ms should I have a request for more. I probably shouldn't have written it because the Voice of Doom keeps telling me they won't want any more but hey, the OTT optimist told the VoD to stuff it. And I wrote it because I was having fun writing it. Which leads me to the point of this terribly rambly post.

New Year's Resolutions. I have decided, since I am an ornery, contrary beast, that I am not going to have any, at least not to do with writing. I don't need to write more since I'm obssessed enough with it as it is so that's not it. A contract would be nice but that's something I can't control so I can't have that either. Though, that being said, I guess there's one thing I could do for 2011 and that would be to enjoy my writing more. I hated 2010 to be honest. It was sucky from a writing perspective (except for the end) and I felt that I'd lost all the pleasure I got from writing. I worried about everything, whether I had the romance, the right turning points, whether I'd over complicated the conflict, made the characters too self aware, whether it was too much about sex, were my characters active enough....blergh!!!

Enough I say. This year I want to enjoy what I write and stick all that craft stuff in a big box and only open it when necessary. So, my dear blog friends, if it looks as if I'm in any danger of worrying too much about the crafty stuff, feel free to kick my butt and remind me that I was supposed to be enjoying my writing this year! :-)

Right, so, anyone else with some resolutions for 2011 that I am jealous of and wish I'd thought of first? ;-)