Putting the E Back Into S*x

Okay, so, I've got over my rejection. Actually I'm well over it. Much more so than the previous one. Odd considering how much time and effort I put into this story. And maybe that's part of it. I've learned SO much just in the writing of it that I didn't feel any of that effort was wasted. Certainly if I hadn't put my all into getting that submission right, I would not have been able to write IT Girl.

Bottom line though is that I didn't get it right. And I know why. To be honest, I suspected that I might not have pulled it off about a month after I'd sent it. Such a horrible feeling. But I really hoped I'd be given the opportunity to correct it...Sadly not. Oh well. I still think the story holds up and I do plan to rewrite it at some stage. You will not have seen the last of it!

Anyway, at least I now know the problem with one night stand stories. How to get that balance between sex and emotion. The partial was rejected because there was no emotional connection between the two characters, which made their romance unbelievable. This approach is okay for something like Blaze, but not so for MH (or any of the M&B lines probably). There HAS to be an emotional connection between the characters first. My thought was 'but if these two felt an emotional connection, they'd run a mile. And they weren't looking for one anyway'.
That is true. But here's the thing - only the reader needs to get a hint of it. The characters themselves don't need to know. Subconsciously they might feel 'something' is different about this person they've met, something that is totally unlike anything they've ever experienced but do you think they will admit it to themselves? No way. They'll explain away the feeling by saying to themselves 'it's just physical' or 'it's just that he's unbelievably arrogant' or that 'I don't like people who don't do what I want' or some other excuse to explain this weird intensity.
But the reader - who likes to know things the characters don't - will be going 'aha!'
And there you have that vital emotion. And that's what was missing from my partial.

Interestingly, none of the other mss I've got suffer from that so at least I don't have to go back and rewrite all of them!

Actually, now I think about it, that's why this R doesn't suck too badly. Because I know what the problem was and I can see it what I wrote. Which means I can fix it for next time.

And speaking of next time, yes, I have my next sub ready to go. Will get the eds thoughts on the premise first and if she's interested, it's gone!

Onwards and upwards, my friends. Gotta keep climbing that mountain. :-)

The Perils of First Chapters

Honestly, you wouldn't believe the trouble I'm having with the first chapter of the Frenchman. Having planned out the conflict and a good idea about how I was going to start, I then somehow lost my mojo.

My problem is that I actually wrote three chapters of this last year, way back before I had a good idea about any of the stuff I know now about conflict and character etc. And I really liked those three chapters. Yes, they were gimmicky and I made my characters do things without thinking through their motivation, but I still really liked them. Being good, I thought I'd can them and start the story off afresh, with a new beginning that was less gimmicky and based more on the characters themselves. But you know what? After writing it first from her POV and then from his, it just didn't work for me. It felt stilted and not particularly dynamic. And this was a pain because I find that if I can't get my first chapter to work well enough, I can't write the rest of it! Now I can write ahead, though I don't normally, but the first chapter is the scene setter. It's the first glimpse of the h&h too and if it's not right, then this has a flow on effect for me and writing the rest feels like pulling teeth.

So, anyway, after three failed attempts at a new beginning. I went back to my old one to see if I could tweak it so it was less gimmicky. But still I had problems with it. Finally I thought about changing the setting to see if that helped and at last - draft 5! - I think I've got it the way I want. For now. Maybe I'll change it after I've written the rest of the story but at least it's done enough for me to feel comfortable with writing on.

Why did I want the gimmicky beginning? Basically because it taps directly into the hero's conflict. It features the hero in a situation where he has no control and the heroine having it instead. The previous drafts didn't have a situation that made it difficult for either of them. And if it's not difficult for the characters then there's no tension. And I wanted that tension.

So how about the rest of you? Do you find first chapters difficult? Or is it just me?? :-)

Putting the E Back Into Sex

The E is the emotion I'm talking about, not some...um...other E. Ahem, moving right along, MH is a very sexy line. Lots of opportunities for action. And personally I really like writing a good love scene. I tend to put a lot of sensuality in mine to really build it up. I've been told by the ed I write a good one too (blows own trumpet here 'cause someone's got to!) which is pleasing.
So when I was told the emphasis was too heavy on the sex in the last reject, I was puzzled.
Hey, I thought. Whaddya expect? It was a once night stand, ergo, sex. Anyway, you liked the writing, so what was wrong with it? Too much heat? Or didn't the one nighter work out? Did they get together too quickly? What? What exactly did you mean by 'too much emphasis on sex'??

The problem, gentle reader, has only now sunk in. Having borrowed Maisey's editor decoder ring, I went back over the rejection letter and there it was in black and white - there was no emotion in the scene. What? No emotion? There was plenty! They enjoyed themselves didn't they? Oh sure, but we're not just talking pleasure here, we're talking emotion that is related to the conflict. As Michelle S told me, every scene has to forward the conflict on some level, and that includes the love scenes. So I quickly looked at the rough draft of my Cat/Sean ms to see what I'd done with the love scene. I'd really gone to town with it and it was pretty sexy but sure enough, I'd made the same mistake. No conflict!

Doh!

Glad I picked that one up huh? So how to put conflict in a love scene? Pretty much the same as you do with every scene. What's their conflict? How does that come out during love making? What kind of action would the conflict impel them to take and what would the response be and why? So I've got a guy who likes control with a woman who threatens it. And a spontaneous, impulsive woman who wants an emotional connection with a guy who is trying to deny it. Don't know about you, but I can see all sorts of possibilities there... :-)

Anyway, I think the real reason this has taken a while to sink in for me is that as a writer I am the queen of understatement. I don't like writing OTT emotional reactions, especially during love scenes. Which is why I didn't put them in. But, as one of Trish Wylie's lessons pointed out, you can never be too obvious. So I'm going to have to give up my love of the understated look or the many layered piece of dialoge and just be straight up. And boy are those two going to have emotional stuff going on in their scene - I'm going to wring that baby dry.

But if the ed wants to read it, she'll have to ask for the full. ;-)

BTW guys, the old sex without emotion thing was one of the problems the eds mentioned with many of the entries from the last competition. So the lesson is, yes, you can have the sex, but make sure that conflict is front and centre in the scene.

The Rebound Submission

Yes, that's exactly what my rejected sub was. I had the rejection on the revised full and then, so desperate to submit again was I, that I quickly fiddled with a new story and sent it away without thinking it through properly. Or rather, I over-thought it. I was trying so hard to get it right that in the end I got nothing right, even the stuff I normally do well.

So it's back to the drawing board. Somehow I've now managed to overboard with internal conflict and have to bring it back to the middle ground. Hard? You betcha. But I have been slowly learning even more. Especially about the dangers of too much sex in Modern Heat! Is that even possible? Oh yeah! I tried to do a one night stand story but even as I was writing it, I found myself inventing ways to get my heroine to go through with it. And that should have been my first indication that all was not right in the world of my characters. Again I was trying to make my heroine do something she actually wouldn't by adding all this stuff to make her to do it! Argh! In the end it wasn't convincing and to add insult to injury, the driving force behind the one night stand was only sexual tension. There was not enough conflict! Apparently the sex arises from the emotional conflict, NOT the other way round!

So many things to keep in mind. But this time I am going to make sure I get it right. I am not going to panic-sub. I am going to spend time really thinking through my new synopsis. And hey, I'm already doing better with that on the sex front - so busy working out the emotional conflict between my h&h, that I forgot to put in a love scene!