Hmmm, despite my happy 'I love rejections' post, the crows of doubt have come to roost again. Par for the course. No surprises there. To be honest, the constant ups and downs are very tiring. It does tend to be my personality (hello! Gemini!) but I have been kind of thinking, 'do I need stress like this in my life?'. At the very beginning of the year I did tell my husband that I wished I'd never started submitting. That the whole rollercoaster ride was getting a bit much for me.
Then again, I guess that's the hazard when you go after your dreams. It's going to be tough and disappointing, and you will wonder why on earth you thought it was a good idea. Especially when your goal is just as far off as it ever was.
Anyway, this is not a play for sympathy or anything, just a little vent. Sunday morning musings. I am trying to resist the urge to reread my partial, just to make sure I'm as happy with it now as I was when I sent it off but that way lies madness. I have finished the full and the basic conflict seemed to hang together okay which is a good sign but you just never know.
Oh well, will stop moaning. How's everyone else doing? What do you do when the rollercoaster gets too much for you?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Rejections
No, I haven't had my partial rejected. I really, really hope it won't be but nothing is ever certain when it comes to publishing. However, if it does get the big ole R, I hope people will remind me of this post because I'm currently trying to get my head around loving my rejections.
This is something I do when the wait is getting to me and I'm feeling down about my writing, and wishing I'd known more with the manuscript that was so nearly there but didn't end up making it.
Why? Surely there's nothing happy making about a rejection? Actually, the first rejection I got was happy making and started me on the road to taking my writing seriously. It was from the Instant Seduction Contest and the wonderful editor told me I had potential, that my voice was Modern Heat, and that though they didn't want to see any more of my contest entry (just as well since I hadn't written it), they'd be happy to look at anything else I had. Well, I was over the moon! Yes, I had potential! I expected to hear nothing at all from this contest and I was so thrilled. So off I sent my next partial.
Along come rejection number 2. I was unsurprised since I'd already by that time (having actually read some Modern Heats!) figured out it wasn't a goer. But still, they told me what was wrong with it and they wanted more. So off I sent another partial, while at the same time, entering the Feel the Heat contest. This was where things got serious. I got more feedback from FTH. I began to learn about internal conflict. Still hadn't got it though, my entry was rejected (rejection number 3). But they saw potential in the other partial that I'd send before the contest. I was asked for the full.
So I sent away my first full and back it came with revisions. My heroine needed conflict. I was learning, but I struggled with that. It was so hard. I hadn't learned that rewriting needed to be done, that adding conflict would change the character, that once you change the character, the plot might change too. And proper conflict still eluded me. I still didn't understand. I got a second lot of revisions but the conflict jigsaw still wasn't complete. I still didn't get it.
Rejection number 4 was very hard. The ms was so nearly there but I didn't have the knowledge I needed to make it work and the editors knew it. But now I could see why it hadn't worked. It was becoming clearer. Thinking I had it, I dived into another partial. Yes, surely I had the conflict now. But I was still thinking of the conflict as a thing separate from my characters. I wasn't looking at my characters as whole people, just as receptacles for the conflict I'd thought up.
So back came rejection number 5. Even harder than rejection number 4 in many ways. But the one thing about it was that finally I was beginning to see my problem. And it made me very determined to learn how to fix it. With rejection number 5 also came advice from Michelle Styles about synopses and about the actions and reactions characters take. Another piece of the jigsaw fell into place.
This time I sent off just a synopsis, after much hard work. Didn't get a rejection this time but a warning - think about your characters. You are not telling the story of a particular conflict, you are telling the story of two people. So who are these people? Why are they the way they are? Why are we even interested? And more light dawned. Conflict and character suddenly became much clearer. I felt I'd taken another big step forward. So finally I wrote the partial and sent it off.
I'd love to end this post with a full request but I can't since I don't know yet. However this time I'm taking nothing for granted. I may still be missing a part of the jigsaw, one I can't see yet. But one thing I'm sure of, if that very first ms had been accepted, I would be struggling to write a second. I have learned SO much in the past year though the rejections I've had that I truly don't know if I would have had a second accepted. The rejections have been horrible, gut-wrenching and depressing. But they've also been amazingly helpful, encouraging and focussing, and I would not have learned all that I have if I hadn't had them.
Of course if this partial is rejected, I will give up. Okay? Cause one can only love rejections so much. ;-)
(Yes. I'm kidding. So far).
This is something I do when the wait is getting to me and I'm feeling down about my writing, and wishing I'd known more with the manuscript that was so nearly there but didn't end up making it.
Why? Surely there's nothing happy making about a rejection? Actually, the first rejection I got was happy making and started me on the road to taking my writing seriously. It was from the Instant Seduction Contest and the wonderful editor told me I had potential, that my voice was Modern Heat, and that though they didn't want to see any more of my contest entry (just as well since I hadn't written it), they'd be happy to look at anything else I had. Well, I was over the moon! Yes, I had potential! I expected to hear nothing at all from this contest and I was so thrilled. So off I sent my next partial.
Along come rejection number 2. I was unsurprised since I'd already by that time (having actually read some Modern Heats!) figured out it wasn't a goer. But still, they told me what was wrong with it and they wanted more. So off I sent another partial, while at the same time, entering the Feel the Heat contest. This was where things got serious. I got more feedback from FTH. I began to learn about internal conflict. Still hadn't got it though, my entry was rejected (rejection number 3). But they saw potential in the other partial that I'd send before the contest. I was asked for the full.
So I sent away my first full and back it came with revisions. My heroine needed conflict. I was learning, but I struggled with that. It was so hard. I hadn't learned that rewriting needed to be done, that adding conflict would change the character, that once you change the character, the plot might change too. And proper conflict still eluded me. I still didn't understand. I got a second lot of revisions but the conflict jigsaw still wasn't complete. I still didn't get it.
Rejection number 4 was very hard. The ms was so nearly there but I didn't have the knowledge I needed to make it work and the editors knew it. But now I could see why it hadn't worked. It was becoming clearer. Thinking I had it, I dived into another partial. Yes, surely I had the conflict now. But I was still thinking of the conflict as a thing separate from my characters. I wasn't looking at my characters as whole people, just as receptacles for the conflict I'd thought up.
So back came rejection number 5. Even harder than rejection number 4 in many ways. But the one thing about it was that finally I was beginning to see my problem. And it made me very determined to learn how to fix it. With rejection number 5 also came advice from Michelle Styles about synopses and about the actions and reactions characters take. Another piece of the jigsaw fell into place.
This time I sent off just a synopsis, after much hard work. Didn't get a rejection this time but a warning - think about your characters. You are not telling the story of a particular conflict, you are telling the story of two people. So who are these people? Why are they the way they are? Why are we even interested? And more light dawned. Conflict and character suddenly became much clearer. I felt I'd taken another big step forward. So finally I wrote the partial and sent it off.
I'd love to end this post with a full request but I can't since I don't know yet. However this time I'm taking nothing for granted. I may still be missing a part of the jigsaw, one I can't see yet. But one thing I'm sure of, if that very first ms had been accepted, I would be struggling to write a second. I have learned SO much in the past year though the rejections I've had that I truly don't know if I would have had a second accepted. The rejections have been horrible, gut-wrenching and depressing. But they've also been amazingly helpful, encouraging and focussing, and I would not have learned all that I have if I hadn't had them.
Of course if this partial is rejected, I will give up. Okay? Cause one can only love rejections so much. ;-)
(Yes. I'm kidding. So far).
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Putting the E Back Into Sex
The E is the emotion I'm talking about, not some...um...other E. Ahem, moving right along, MH is a very sexy line. Lots of opportunities for action. And personally I really like writing a good love scene. I tend to put a lot of sensuality in mine to really build it up. I've been told by the ed I write a good one too (blows own trumpet here 'cause someone's got to!) which is pleasing.
So when I was told the emphasis was too heavy on the sex in the last reject, I was puzzled.
Hey, I thought. Whaddya expect? It was a once night stand, ergo, sex. Anyway, you liked the writing, so what was wrong with it? Too much heat? Or didn't the one nighter work out? Did they get together too quickly? What? What exactly did you mean by 'too much emphasis on sex'??
The problem, gentle reader, has only now sunk in. Having borrowed Maisey's editor decoder ring, I went back over the rejection letter and there it was in black and white - there was no emotion in the scene. What? No emotion? There was plenty! They enjoyed themselves didn't they? Oh sure, but we're not just talking pleasure here, we're talking emotion that is related to the conflict. As Michelle S told me, every scene has to forward the conflict on some level, and that includes the love scenes. So I quickly looked at the rough draft of my Cat/Sean ms to see what I'd done with the love scene. I'd really gone to town with it and it was pretty sexy but sure enough, I'd made the same mistake. No conflict!
Doh!
Glad I picked that one up huh? So how to put conflict in a love scene? Pretty much the same as you do with every scene. What's their conflict? How does that come out during love making? What kind of action would the conflict impel them to take and what would the response be and why? So I've got a guy who likes control with a woman who threatens it. And a spontaneous, impulsive woman who wants an emotional connection with a guy who is trying to deny it. Don't know about you, but I can see all sorts of possibilities there... :-)
Anyway, I think the real reason this has taken a while to sink in for me is that as a writer I am the queen of understatement. I don't like writing OTT emotional reactions, especially during love scenes. Which is why I didn't put them in. But, as one of Trish Wylie's lessons pointed out, you can never be too obvious. So I'm going to have to give up my love of the understated look or the many layered piece of dialoge and just be straight up. And boy are those two going to have emotional stuff going on in their scene - I'm going to wring that baby dry.
But if the ed wants to read it, she'll have to ask for the full. ;-)
BTW guys, the old sex without emotion thing was one of the problems the eds mentioned with many of the entries from the last competition. So the lesson is, yes, you can have the sex, but make sure that conflict is front and centre in the scene.
So when I was told the emphasis was too heavy on the sex in the last reject, I was puzzled.
Hey, I thought. Whaddya expect? It was a once night stand, ergo, sex. Anyway, you liked the writing, so what was wrong with it? Too much heat? Or didn't the one nighter work out? Did they get together too quickly? What? What exactly did you mean by 'too much emphasis on sex'??
The problem, gentle reader, has only now sunk in. Having borrowed Maisey's editor decoder ring, I went back over the rejection letter and there it was in black and white - there was no emotion in the scene. What? No emotion? There was plenty! They enjoyed themselves didn't they? Oh sure, but we're not just talking pleasure here, we're talking emotion that is related to the conflict. As Michelle S told me, every scene has to forward the conflict on some level, and that includes the love scenes. So I quickly looked at the rough draft of my Cat/Sean ms to see what I'd done with the love scene. I'd really gone to town with it and it was pretty sexy but sure enough, I'd made the same mistake. No conflict!
Doh!
Glad I picked that one up huh? So how to put conflict in a love scene? Pretty much the same as you do with every scene. What's their conflict? How does that come out during love making? What kind of action would the conflict impel them to take and what would the response be and why? So I've got a guy who likes control with a woman who threatens it. And a spontaneous, impulsive woman who wants an emotional connection with a guy who is trying to deny it. Don't know about you, but I can see all sorts of possibilities there... :-)
Anyway, I think the real reason this has taken a while to sink in for me is that as a writer I am the queen of understatement. I don't like writing OTT emotional reactions, especially during love scenes. Which is why I didn't put them in. But, as one of Trish Wylie's lessons pointed out, you can never be too obvious. So I'm going to have to give up my love of the understated look or the many layered piece of dialoge and just be straight up. And boy are those two going to have emotional stuff going on in their scene - I'm going to wring that baby dry.
But if the ed wants to read it, she'll have to ask for the full. ;-)
BTW guys, the old sex without emotion thing was one of the problems the eds mentioned with many of the entries from the last competition. So the lesson is, yes, you can have the sex, but make sure that conflict is front and centre in the scene.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Joy of Rewrites
You may have noticed that I'm not updating my word count bars (or you may not have. You may have better things to do than to check my word count bars!). The simple reason is that I am rewriting and find it too complex dicking around with existing word counts as opposed to rewrite word counts. Anyway, what has been interesting for me is not so much the word counts as the rewriting part. And it's brought me face to face with the reason my revised full was rejected last year.
I didn't rewrite enough.
What I tried to do was to put entirely new conflict into an existing plot structure. I went so far as to write new dialogue and even changed how a scene went. But what I should have done is REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING!
Yes indeedy folks, that would have been the answer. Why? Because with with new conflict, your character becomes a different person. And therefore they would have different responses. Which may mean some scenes are no longer relevant. If you have an existing plot structure, the temptation is to try and keep it, no matter that it may no longer work. And that's when you run into problems because then you start trying to force the characters into behaving the way you want them to instead of how they actually would naturally.
Ah well, I guess that's all part of the learning process. And the main thing is that I now have no qualms about starting from scratch. What I need to do is instead of putting new bits into the old, I need to start with a fresh slate and, if appropriate, but old bits into the new. It certainly has been working for me so far. I am rewriting another favourite ms of mine that will be my next sub and certainly starting afresh seems the best way to tackle it. That way you're not trapped by the stuff you've already written. Starting it new leaves you wide open for all sorts of possibilities.
So how does everyone view rewrites? Is it a chance to make your story stronger? Or is it something that would give you nightmares?
I didn't rewrite enough.
What I tried to do was to put entirely new conflict into an existing plot structure. I went so far as to write new dialogue and even changed how a scene went. But what I should have done is REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING!
Yes indeedy folks, that would have been the answer. Why? Because with with new conflict, your character becomes a different person. And therefore they would have different responses. Which may mean some scenes are no longer relevant. If you have an existing plot structure, the temptation is to try and keep it, no matter that it may no longer work. And that's when you run into problems because then you start trying to force the characters into behaving the way you want them to instead of how they actually would naturally.
Ah well, I guess that's all part of the learning process. And the main thing is that I now have no qualms about starting from scratch. What I need to do is instead of putting new bits into the old, I need to start with a fresh slate and, if appropriate, but old bits into the new. It certainly has been working for me so far. I am rewriting another favourite ms of mine that will be my next sub and certainly starting afresh seems the best way to tackle it. That way you're not trapped by the stuff you've already written. Starting it new leaves you wide open for all sorts of possibilities.
So how does everyone view rewrites? Is it a chance to make your story stronger? Or is it something that would give you nightmares?
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Bad Boys
Here's an interesting question for you: what bad stuff do you think a hero can get away with doing?
The crit group and I were discussing this as I have an ms with a bad boy in it, a bad boy who has left all the bad stuff behind physically but not mentally. Now I'm talking about his teens here, where he went off the rails and got into some trouble. He pulled himself out of it and is now a successful businessman (aren't they all?) but he still feels guilty about this stuff - especially as the heroine persists in thinking he's a great guy but doesn't know about some of the things he did (no this is not the whole of the conflict by the way, it's just a layer).
What I wanted to know was what's acceptable in terms of 'bad stuff'? Obviously violence towards women and kids is a huge no no. So what else? It has to be something that he would feel very bad about but not serious enough to warrant being arrested and going to jail for years and years. And clearly needs to leave him still feeling awful as an adult. The crit group gave me some great ideas but what I'd like to know is what is your particular line in the sand? Is it drugs? Violence (unfemale related)? Alcohol related crimes? Robbery?
Or is it all in the execution?
The crit group and I were discussing this as I have an ms with a bad boy in it, a bad boy who has left all the bad stuff behind physically but not mentally. Now I'm talking about his teens here, where he went off the rails and got into some trouble. He pulled himself out of it and is now a successful businessman (aren't they all?) but he still feels guilty about this stuff - especially as the heroine persists in thinking he's a great guy but doesn't know about some of the things he did (no this is not the whole of the conflict by the way, it's just a layer).
What I wanted to know was what's acceptable in terms of 'bad stuff'? Obviously violence towards women and kids is a huge no no. So what else? It has to be something that he would feel very bad about but not serious enough to warrant being arrested and going to jail for years and years. And clearly needs to leave him still feeling awful as an adult. The crit group gave me some great ideas but what I'd like to know is what is your particular line in the sand? Is it drugs? Violence (unfemale related)? Alcohol related crimes? Robbery?
Or is it all in the execution?
Friday, January 15, 2010
Kreativ Blog Award
Both Kaily Hart and Romy Sommer have nominated me for a Kreativ Blog award - thanks for the kudos guys! - so I'd better get on with it eh? I have to reveal 7 interesting things about me and pass it on to 7 other bloggers. Righto...
7 interesting things about me (well, at least semi-interesting):
1. I took singing lessons and entered competitions (wearing my Doc Martens) when I was in my 20s. Singing opera. Needless to say I don't sing any more, except to my iPod and not opera. I actually still like opera but these days I'm a bit more alternative. ;-)
2. I am a gadget girl (surprise, surprise). Love my iPod, my iPhone, and my PC. I'm now after an ereader.
3. I play computer games. Not so much these days now I write, but I used to love playing The Sims and any fantasy adventure game. I also quite like playing Halo on the xBox (but only with my friends whom I can shoot).
4. I used to swim competitively in my teens. And I hated it (though I still love swimming for fun) which is why I quit.
5. I can ski moderately well. A fact that continues to surprise me whenever I put on a pair of skis as I'm useless with most sports!
6. I love reading Science Fiction. I have umpteen dozen beginnings for many SF stories but never finished any of them. Combining SF and romance would be the best. Sadly M&B have no SF Romance category.
7. I travelled quite a bit when I was overseas years ago. The most unusual place I went to was St Petersburg for two weeks. This may or may not be interesting but I don't meet many Kiwis who have been to Russia.
Seven blogs to nominate (and I'm nominating people here who may not have had this award yet):
Lorraine Wilson
Rachel Johns
Maisey Yates
Joanne Cleary
Judy Jarvie
Suzanne Jones
Lacey Devlin
7 interesting things about me (well, at least semi-interesting):
1. I took singing lessons and entered competitions (wearing my Doc Martens) when I was in my 20s. Singing opera. Needless to say I don't sing any more, except to my iPod and not opera. I actually still like opera but these days I'm a bit more alternative. ;-)
2. I am a gadget girl (surprise, surprise). Love my iPod, my iPhone, and my PC. I'm now after an ereader.
3. I play computer games. Not so much these days now I write, but I used to love playing The Sims and any fantasy adventure game. I also quite like playing Halo on the xBox (but only with my friends whom I can shoot).
4. I used to swim competitively in my teens. And I hated it (though I still love swimming for fun) which is why I quit.
5. I can ski moderately well. A fact that continues to surprise me whenever I put on a pair of skis as I'm useless with most sports!
6. I love reading Science Fiction. I have umpteen dozen beginnings for many SF stories but never finished any of them. Combining SF and romance would be the best. Sadly M&B have no SF Romance category.
7. I travelled quite a bit when I was overseas years ago. The most unusual place I went to was St Petersburg for two weeks. This may or may not be interesting but I don't meet many Kiwis who have been to Russia.
Seven blogs to nominate (and I'm nominating people here who may not have had this award yet):
Lorraine Wilson
Rachel Johns
Maisey Yates
Joanne Cleary
Judy Jarvie
Suzanne Jones
Lacey Devlin
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Heeeerrrre's Jackie!
Hey everyone, I'm back. After 10 days of sea, sand, sandcastles and waaaay too much bubbly, it's back to reality again. To the right there is a small picture of Pataua, the little beach settlement where my husband has a family beach house. It was built by his grandfather way back in the 1930's so it's no palatial mansion. It's what we call a typical Kiwi bach - no TV, tank water which means no showers, no broadband (sniff), and a long drop loo. Oh, okay, there is a flushing loo there now but the long drop is still going. ;-) Anyway, it's pretty much fabulous, made even better by the fact that my iPhone still appeared to receive emails! Yes, I am a very sad person that I cannot even be away one week without checking.The other sad thing about me is that I cannot even be on holiday without writing. I finished re-writing the rest of Cat and Sean's story while I was away. I just got all inspired. It requires a tremendous amount of editing but the bones are there which is very cool. AND I got a new story idea too. Great holiday or what?
I also did some reading and may I say that Natalie Anderson's To Love, Honour and Disobey (out on ebook via M&B UK) is one fabulous read. Really believable characters, great conflict, fab story. So go out and buy it. Yes, go on. Right now. :-)
As for me, I now have to decide which of my many projects to get on with. I have five... ;-)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Chocks Away!
It's done. Cat and Sean are winging their way to London. Hope they like it over there. Hope the ed likes them. They're really a lovely couple. Much nicer now I know them properly. Sean has been re-alpha'd because the ed warned me not to make him too good. And Cat has been de-immatured.
They have issues though, issues they really need to work through, and I hope they get the chance for their HEA.
Seriously, one thing I'll say for this partial is that it's waaay better than the last one. At least, I think it is. And that's mainly because I know my characters a lot better. Those character bios were a godsend and I can't think why I didn't do them earlier. Maybe one day I won't need them but for now, until I get a handle on this conflict drama, I'll do one for each new story. Before I start writing.
Right, so now I can kick back and relax on the beach holiday we're going on tomorrow. For maybe five minutes. :-) Will get web withdrawal I'm sure of it - which is why I'll be visiting the local WIFI hotspot frequently. Am also taking my trusty laptop so I can rewrite the rest of Cat and Sean's story in the hope they'll want the rest of it. Nothing like starting 2010 with a bit of optimism!
Hope you all have a lovely week or two. Here's to NTAI!
They have issues though, issues they really need to work through, and I hope they get the chance for their HEA.
Seriously, one thing I'll say for this partial is that it's waaay better than the last one. At least, I think it is. And that's mainly because I know my characters a lot better. Those character bios were a godsend and I can't think why I didn't do them earlier. Maybe one day I won't need them but for now, until I get a handle on this conflict drama, I'll do one for each new story. Before I start writing.
Right, so now I can kick back and relax on the beach holiday we're going on tomorrow. For maybe five minutes. :-) Will get web withdrawal I'm sure of it - which is why I'll be visiting the local WIFI hotspot frequently. Am also taking my trusty laptop so I can rewrite the rest of Cat and Sean's story in the hope they'll want the rest of it. Nothing like starting 2010 with a bit of optimism!
Hope you all have a lovely week or two. Here's to NTAI!
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