Synopsophobia

The ed has let me know that she'll get to my chapters by the end of the week. Big yays! However, when I let her know that my synopsis is now no longer quite so correct, she requested an updated one. Not so big yays. Was this a stupid move on my part? At the moment, currently wrestling with giving her an updated one, I'm thinking that's a resounding yes! Sigh.

The main problem is that it seems to be the general consensus that the partial is more important than the synopsis. Naturally the eds want to know you have a decent story but everyone says that eds understand it can change and are a little bit willing to let things go in this area. Maybe I'm wrong but after having my previous synopsis picked to shreds, I can say that some eds pay more attention to synopses than others. And since that appears to be the case here, I need to make sure my synopsis is as good as I can get it - can't risk her not wanting to see the rest due to doing a crappy job.

Which brings me to my other main problem - I'm not very good at them. A while ago I thought I had the knack - until the ed picked it apart and I realised I didn't. It's so annoying. I know the story so well that I keep trying to include every emotional permutation, overcomplicating things, focussing on the wrong reactions, all sorts of irritating stuff. I know what you need to have in them, I'm just so paranoid about not doing a good enough job that I'm probably over compensating. Definitely a huge case of synopsophobia. I'm telling myself that the pain I'm suffering now will be worth it in the long run and that it will only benefit my story, but sadly that's not much help now.

Anyway, in much happier news, the release date of MaiseyYates' fabulous debut book for Presents/Modern is imminent and the Sisters are having a party. So do pop over for some champagne. In fact, if you love ebooks then His Virgin Acquisition will be available on the M&B site from Thursday, a whole month early! Super big yays for Maisey! You rock girl. Want to write my synopsis for me?? :-)

Missing Something Vital - The Romance!

I've been doing major edits on the wip and after a while I got to thinking that I was missing something. And you know what it was? I forgot the romance. So tied up with making sure there's conflict and tension and whatnot, that I forgot I was writing a romance and these two people have to fall in love! Argh!! Lots of argument. Lots of love scenes. But where was the swoony falling in love bit??
Doh.

Maisey's just done a lovely post about the small moments between the hero and heroine, about those moments of connection. And you need them because otherwise how will we ever get emotionally involved? Why will the black moment be so terrible? Because we can see these two people falling for each other and we know they're made for each other and yet they can't see it yet. But first we have to show the reader these two are made for each other. And that they are falling in love even if they don't realise it themselves.

I reckon that's sometimes what I have problems with. I think that if I create these moments between my characters, they will somehow know what the reader and I know, that it means luuuurve. And then that upsets all my plans because they will run a mile. But you know, just because you have a nice moment with someone doesn't mean you're instantly in love. No, you just think 'wow, what a cool guy'. It's really the build up of all these moments that leads to the realisation - unless you're writing a love at first sight story of course.

Anyway, have given them their moment of connection. And hopefully kept the significance of it from them. Actually, don't know why I'm worried about them finding out. They're both experts at lying to themselves and they continue to do so right up until the end.

So has this happened to anyone else? Got so caught up in conflict and tension on every page that you forget you're writing a romance??

Just Hanging Around

Nothing new to report here. Just twiddling my thumbs. Actually that's a lie, I started a new story. Bad, bad Jackie. I have two stories at the partial stage and one with a first chapter done so those really need finishing - I shouldn't be starting a new one! But y'know, when the new story bug hits, ya just gotta go with it.

I haven't written a linked story before but I got kind of inspired after Maisey wrote one. In my current wip my hero has a younger sister. She appeared in an earlier iteration of this story so I know her quite well - she's an unusual sort of girl. Anyway, in the wip, her part is reduced to a phone call so I was kind of feeling a bit sorry we don't see more of her, and when Maisey wrote a story concerning a younger sister I thought why not? But I'll have to get rid of some things first - she's 18 in the wip so I'll have to advance time for her (as you do when you are the god of your character's world), and she has a blue mohawk and an eyebrow piercing so I'll have to get rid of those as well. She can keep playing drums for a gothic metal band though and she's definitely keeping her talent with the violin too. This all could mean she's a tad too quirky but hey, will give it a go and see what happens. Interesting to create a story out of a past that's already set and unchangable. And interesting creating a hero for someone whose character can't be altered too much. I usually create both in tandem with each other so this is a new experience. But a good one. Now all I have to do is think of a plot! ;-)

In the meantime I have been award the Honest Scrap Award by the lovely Kerrin. I have to list ten things you may not know about me. So here they are:

1. I did fencing at university. Once. After a long afternoon at the pub.
2. I love poetry, especially ee cummings and TS Eliot.
3. I have a BA in English (no I do NOT plan to be a teacher - not that there is anything wrong with that).
4. I wrote my first romance when I was 13. The heroine was called Patricia and the hero was married to her sister. It was full of the kind of angst and torture that only 13 year old girls can possibly imagine or indeed be interested in.
5. I once entered a singing competition. The other contestants wore evening gowns. I wore Doc Martens and leggings. I did not win.
6. I got engaged in Prague, on the banks of the river. A saxophone was playing 'Autumn Leaves' nearby and afterwards we went to an ice hockey game to celebrate.
7. When I'm not reading romance, I'm reading SF and fantasy, especially anything by Iain M Banks.
8. I hated Titanic and also Twilight (don't shoot me).
9. I loved Star Wars (but only the first trilogy).
10. My plans for world domination are proceeding nicely.

I have to nominate some bloggers for this award but I think it's been around a bit so I'm going to pike out and say that if you haven't done it yet, it's your turn! :-)

Round One Edit Complete

Okay, so I've finished the first edit of my wip. Still no word from the ed on whether she likes chapters 2 and 3. I had planned not to touch it until I heard from her but couldn't keep away. Anyway, it's done now and it's in better shape than the first time round. Wondering if I've over complicated things again with the resolution but won't think about that till the second round of edits. I'm kind of tempted to polish it up but I have no idea whether the ed will want more or, if she does want more, whether she'll get me to change it again so there's kind of no point in many ways.

This story has been a nightmare to rewrite actually. It's currently in its 5th iteration and I'm so close to the characters, that whole gentle reveal thing has been really hard. Plus the fact that having no external conflict at all, the reason the two stay together in the book is all down to their choice and if they realise they're falling for each other they would run a mile! So I have to keep them lying to themselves about what they're feeling which makes for a slow build book. They don't know they're falling for each other and keep telling themselves everything's okay - until right at the end when it blows up in their faces. Don't know if that's right but that's the way it's played out. And I've realised I've got quite a few love scenes in there. Ah well, the attraction between them is the excuse they use to stay together so it's a large part of the story. And each scene does forward the conflict - I hope!

Good news for the first edit though is that I cried a little at the end. Always a sign that you've written something emotional! I didn't in the first draft - first time ever - so I knew I'd have to go back and ramp everything up. So big yays for tears! Anyone else cry when they write their happy endings?

Right, nothing to do now but wait until I hear back from the ed - whenever that will be. Oh and I'm doing a writing tip on the Sisters' blog today too. Will go up UK time. I'm thinking I might do a little something on dialogue...

The Dance of the Seven Veils

Aren't you guys fabulous? I got some great comments about the whole digging deep deal last post - really set off lots of lightbulbs for me, especially with the WIP I'm going to be subbing next. So big cheers and thanks to you all for commenting!

Anyway, that digging deep post really set me thinking about the problems I'm having with this current WIP. I know these characters so well now that I am forgetting the reader doesn't. Remember the hero burning his toast? And the digging deep we did below the surface? We found out his real fear is that he's inherently unlovable. Now the thing is, he doesn't know that in chapter 1. In fact, in chapter 1, he's fine. His life is great. It takes the whole book for him to realise that he's not fine and it's not until right at the very end that he understands why he isn't.
Make sense?

Well, imagine my burnt toast hero thinking he's not lovable in chapter 1 and that's pretty much sums up my problem with my wip. I'm revealing my characters too early. I don't have much in the way of external conflict - okay ANY external conflict - so I really wanted to get to the heart of their problems, get that conflict down on the page. I had my heroine - who doesn't want a relationship - freaking out in day two of them seeing each other. But come on, really? She's having a nice time with him sure but would she really be feeling worried? Just because you're having a nice time with a guy doesn't mean love, marriage and babies is on the cards. Especially if that's not what you want. Besides, as far as she's concerned she's having a holiday romance, there's no way she'd want anymore so freaking out about enjoying herself the second time she sees him is a bit odd wouldn't you say?

Bascially what I did was dig too deep, too early (made her too self aware if you like). Sure, you need to let the reader know she's enjoying herself, and maybe hint a little that she hasn't had so much fun with a guy for a long time (cos this is special yes?) but save the freaking out for when she really needs it.

Which brings me to my blog title. Without mentioning stripper poles and pasties, I went for the tasteful option and thought about it in terms of veils. You need to reveal your characters conflict slowly. Like the dance of the seven veils, you drop one veil at a time. Mine didn't want to do that, they wanted to drop three. Hey, my heroine went for broke and threw them ALL off, the silly girl! Anyway, slow is what you want so that by the end of the book, all the veils are down and we can see what's at the heart of the problem for these characters.

Other people have other ways of saying this. Kate Walker I think calls it the layers of the onion. I quite like the veil analogy because it's also how the characters reveal themselves to each other as well as the reader. Slowly, as trust grows between them, they allow another veil to drop, letting the other person see a deeper part of them. Not having conversations about how they hated their parents in chapter two after they've only just met (Jackie, take a bow!).

Anyway, that's just my take on it. The speed at which your dance progresses really depends on the story though. Sometimes it'll be fast, sometimes it won't. But what you don't want to is have naked characters half-way through the story because then there won't be enough conflict to get you to the end and you'll be forced to throw in a car chase or something.

So, anyone have problems with their characters throwing off veils willy nilly or is it just me?

Digging Deep - What the $@&! Does That Mean??

It is a question that has mystified the ages - what on earth do they mean by digging deep? Well, giving you a giant hint here: it's got nothing whatsoever to do with mining. Or drain laying. :-)
Now, in my journeying through the murky, disgusting swamp they call conflict, I received some valuable advice from a fellow traveller that really prompted a fantastic lightbulb moment for me about the whole digging deep thing. This may be painfully obvious to some of you but I gotta tell you, it wasn't something I had ever thought of objectively until a couple of months ago.

Right so, digging deep. What does it mean in terms of your characters? It really means examining their emotional reactions and not just the surface emotion. It's all about what's going on underneath the surface. Like an iceberg you may see the tip of it sticking out of the water but there's a giant continent sized lump of ice going on beneath the water that you may not have noticed.
For example, let's say our hero makes our heroine some toast but he burns it. Let's do some digging into his reaction to this. How does he feel about burning the toast? Maybe he's a perfectionist and feels angry that he burned it. Dig a little deeper - why is he a perfectionist? He's a perfectionist because his father was careless, broke things, lost money, didn't seem to care etc. So the hero has decided he's never going to be his Dad and he's going to make sure he does things right. But he's burned the toast which means he's been careless like his Dad, something he's sworn never to be, hence he's angry. Do some more digging - maybe he also feels guilty that by burning the toast he let the heroine down and that is also a part of his anger. Dig some more - why does he feel guilty about letting the heroine down? Perhaps because his father was so careless he let the hero down often and so the hero knows what it feels like to be let down and he doesn't want the heroine to experience that too. Deeper - why does he not want to be careless like his father? How did having a careless father make him feel? Well, it made him feel bad and he doesn't want to feel bad. We can go deeper - why did it make him feel bad? Perhaps he felt bad because he's secretly afraid that his father was careless and let him down because he just didn't care enough about the hero. And if that's true, then how does that make the hero feel about himself? Is the truth, the hero's deepest, most secret fear, really that because his father didn't seem to care about him, he's not worth loving?

Okay, so that's pretty much as deep as it gets: how does the character view themselves? Now obviously this hero doesn't going around thinking he's unlovable. That's what he's afraid of. So he'll do anything and everything to avoid having to test that fear, to make himself feel good about himself. And - in this example - he does that by being a perfectionist. In his mind, if he does everything right, takes care with everything he does, no one will ever have cause to think he's unlovable. Until he burns the toast of course.

Right, so the toast example may be a little silly. I have another example from one of my WIPs. One I just had a brainwave on due to the whole digging deep thing. I have a heroine who is in love with her best friend and has been for years. So far, her black moment has consisted of her realising he will never love her back so she tells him to get lost because it's easier than being rejected. But I'm missing one vital thing that will make this black moment even more emotional. Why does she think he'll reject her? Okay, so he doesn't want a relationship and has made that very clear. But still, what stops her from saying it? Why is rejection so hard? The answer is really very simple. She scared of being rejected because if he rejects her, it'll confirm what's she's always been afraid of facing - that she's not good enough for him. And that's at the heart of her conflict: she's afraid she's not worthy of love.
Now doesn't that pack way more of an emotional punch than simply being scared of rejection?

So, next time you're puzzling out about digging deep, think about your conflict and go right to the heart of the character first. Ask yourself how they view themselves. Not the 'hey, I'm a hugely successful billionaire, there's nothing wrong with me' surface. That's the tip of the iceberg. What's going on beneath that surface? What are they secretly afraid of finding out about themselves? And if they're not scared, then either you haven't gone deep enough or you need to give them some more conflict.

Anyone have any other thoughts on this? I'm still figuring this stuff out so if anyone has anymore lightbulbs, do share!

BTW, sometimes burnt toast is just burnt toast. ;-)

Post Birthday Blues

Took a short blog hiatus over the weekend. Had a fantastic birthday where Dr Jax whisked me away to our wonderful capital city - Wellington - for a weekend of a swish hotel, fine champagne, nice food and, best of all, no kids! My birthday present was a lovely bit of bling, something that surprised me because I'm not a blingy type of girl and yet I found myself choosing a rather gorgeous bit of sparkle. Poor Dr Jax hasn't quite recovered from the cost I fear. ;-) Also took lots of scene-setting pics since - happily - Wellington is also the setting for a new WIP. Even found my hero's apartment overlooking the waterfront! All good.

But now I'm feeling blah. Post birthday blues maybe. Now the fun of the birthday is over, I have more angst and waiting to look forward to. Do we ever get over our need for reassurance do you think? In a normal job we'd have performance appraisals, we'd have a boss to ask about whether we're performing our jobs adquately, we'd have promotions, we'd have a wage! But with writing for publication we don't get any of that. We get silence. Sometimes we'll get encouragement in the form of a letter asking for more work but more often than not we get a rejection. It's a little bit soul destroying after a while.

I guess this qualifies as my vent of the month. I was hoping to save it until further on but what the hey! Anyway, am doubting my submission, doubting the rest of the manuscript - which is complete pants let me tell you, doubting pretty much everything. Don't have any emotional reserves left to deal with the long wait. My mojo has packed her bags and gone on a long holiday into the bargain. Boring huh? Perhaps I need some more NTAI shoes...

On the up side, I have lovely CPs who deal patiently with my constant need for reassurance, though sometimes I feel like a baby bird in a nest with its mouth constantly open... ;-) How do the rest of you deal with it? Do you whine like me? Go shopping? Or is it stiff upper lip all the way?

Happy Hoo-ness

I'm talking about Hoo, knee high stockings and not giving up at the Sisters blog. Check it out if you're interested. If not then as you were. ;-)

Forty

Okay, so it looks like a particular dream I had will not be realised. I wanted to be published by the time I turned forty, and as that day is on Saturday, short of a miracle, looks like I'll have to accept that I won't be. However, I'm hoping that as I will be forty for a whole year (age tends to happen like that eh?) I might have a shot at being published when I'm forty. Always good to have goals when one is staring a significant birthday in the face.

I guess the thing I should keep in mind that although I haven't reached my goal yet, I am doing something I never thought I'd actually do. I am writing full time for a start. And I am lucky enough to be working with a fabulous editor who likes what I write. Never thought I'd be doing that when I was younger! And actually, now I think about it, I'm not sure I would have had the tenacity to do what I'm doing now when I was younger either. I might have given up after that first rejection. Certainly I didn't have the time or the discipline like I do now.

Anyway, am inching towards my goal, albeit slowly, and so my new goal is to be published by the time I'm fifty. Ten years should be plenty of time. :-)

In the meantime, for all those of you who have reached this significant milestone already, quick, give me the good stuff about how great it is being forty. And if there's nothing great about it, lie!

BTW, am also blogging at Seven Sassy Sisters on Thursday. It's a random post and I'm not sure what I'm doing yet so if you're interested check it out.