Yup, consensus is revisions! Lucky me! Well, I have to say, it was nothing I didn't expect. When I wrote the partial I thought it was the best I'd ever done - certainly better than the last one - but of course, over the space of five months, you learn. And once you've learned, you realise that in fact you could have done better. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Anyway, so my choices are revising or subbing something new but since they've given me the option of revising, that's what I'm going to do. It's an important skill to learn and I want to show them that I can do it. However, I do have a tendency to go to extremes - I'll either completely rewrite so it's a new story, or I won't change it enough. Argh!! Somehow I have to find a happy medium.
So if anyone out there spots a happy medium, can they send it on to me??
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
More About the Non-Sassiness of My Heroine
Have had a little writing hiatus over the past week or two. Actually, when I say writing hiatus I actually mean writing sulk. I went on strike in other words. Not that anyone except me was affected and certainly no one noticed. So yeah, my strike was very effective. Not. Still, it did do me good because now I'm feeling more philosophical about the NTAI, I am ready to get back into writing and I always feel much more enthused after a break.
Anyway, I have been thinking more about my non-sassy heroine and still debating about whether her non-sassiness is a good thing. She really has issues with herself and not much confidence, despite the fact that she is rich and successful. But I'm getting cold feet about her. Is she Modern Heat enough? Is she sympathetic? Or is she too unconfident for a reader to identify with? I keep wanting to pull back on her, which I hate doing because then I slip into having my characters act in ways they actually wouldn't - at least not without a personality change. It's a problem. I mean, the eds liked her well enough last year, even though they rejected it, but lots can change in a year. Will they still like her now?
It doens't help that I am also working on her polar opposite, my eco-warrior heroine. She has sass enough for both of them and I have to say, her terrier-like inability to let things go is proving to be a problem for my conflict. I hope it's strong enough to explain her actions. Then again, that could be due to my hero and his ability to get under her skin - they've got a such a strong love/hate dynamic going on that it's not bringing out the best in either of them!
Anyone else ever have doubts about their characters personalities? Did you give them their head? Or did you pull back on them?
Anyway, I have been thinking more about my non-sassy heroine and still debating about whether her non-sassiness is a good thing. She really has issues with herself and not much confidence, despite the fact that she is rich and successful. But I'm getting cold feet about her. Is she Modern Heat enough? Is she sympathetic? Or is she too unconfident for a reader to identify with? I keep wanting to pull back on her, which I hate doing because then I slip into having my characters act in ways they actually wouldn't - at least not without a personality change. It's a problem. I mean, the eds liked her well enough last year, even though they rejected it, but lots can change in a year. Will they still like her now?
It doens't help that I am also working on her polar opposite, my eco-warrior heroine. She has sass enough for both of them and I have to say, her terrier-like inability to let things go is proving to be a problem for my conflict. I hope it's strong enough to explain her actions. Then again, that could be due to my hero and his ability to get under her skin - they've got a such a strong love/hate dynamic going on that it's not bringing out the best in either of them!
Anyone else ever have doubts about their characters personalities? Did you give them their head? Or did you pull back on them?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Climbing Everest
I've been thinking about how tough this business is the past couple weeks - while I've been waiting unsurprisingly - and wondering at what point people give up. Is it worth the constant feeling of impatience? The feeling of sickness when you download your email in the morning? The disappointment when there is no answer yet again? And then building up to it all over again the next day?
This morning I was doubting it was worth it. Because surely all this stress and doubt isn't good for you. It's certainly been a killer for my inspiration and creativity.
And then also this morning, as I was trying to figure out whether to keep going or not, I happened to have a good talk to a very wise friend of mine. This friend does a lot of hiking and climbing and he told me about a NZ climber he knew who nearly got to the top of Everest but experienced a disaster when a storm hit him and his climbing partner. His partner died and he lost all half his foot and lots of fingers to frostbite. Apparently this climber, after coming back down from Everest, descended into bad depression, alcoholism and nearly took his own life. But he was a strong guy and pulled himself back from the edge, got fit again, and went back to climbing mountains because that's what he loved to do. This is, I know, in no way, shape or form akin to writing. I'm not going to die if I don't get published and I certainly won't lose a limb waiting in the slush (except my mind maybe!). But it struck a chord with me because this journey certainly feels, in many ways, like climbing Everest. What makes it worse is that I nearly got to the top once, only to be turned back before summitting. And the hell of it is, when you get turned back, you know that the only way to get back up there is by climbing the whole bl**dy thing again. There are no quick routes. There is no helicopter to get you part way up. You've got to start climbing - again! - from the very bottom.
The thing about this NZ climber that really struck me though - and this is true for most climbers - was his mental toughness. He lost so much and yet pulled himself out of the darkness and got back out there because climbing is what he loved to do. How much discipline and determination would that take?
My point with this is that if this is what I want, I'm going to have to cultivate a bit of mental toughness myself. And I have to remind myself that the thing about climbing Everest is that with every ascent, you learn more about the route you're climbing, the weather, the dangers, and perhaps a few good handholds here and there. You're more prepared for the journey. And you're more determined - you're not going to let that mountain beat you. It's that preparation and that determination that will - hopefully - get you to the top.
Getting published has been a dream since I was little, and it's been two years since I've been actively pursuing this dream. And it's hard work. Really hard work. Everest is the world's highest mountain and it's a b*tch to climb. I've had to start from the bottom five times - and it's worse now than it was because now I know how hard it is and how long it takes. But I am tough. I will keep climbing. And I really hope that the view from the summit is worth it.
Alrighty, that was a very long-winded analogy wasn't it? Don't mind me, this is an extended pep-talk to myself but if it helps any of you then that's all good. If anyone else is climbing Everest and needs a hand, I'm here. I've got ropes, oxygen for when we get really high, and lots of freeze-dried food.
Oh, and lots of chocolate. :-)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Nothing to Say
I keep delaying my posts in the hope that I have something to tell you.
But I have nothing to tell you.
So to keep me going and to keep the crows at bay, here is Jean Claude Van Damme with my own personal mantra.
Maybe it'll be this week.
But I have nothing to tell you.
So to keep me going and to keep the crows at bay, here is Jean Claude Van Damme with my own personal mantra.
Maybe it'll be this week.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Jackie Ashenden and the Inbox of Doom
After nearly two weeks of waiting by the Inbox of Doom, nothing. I was kind of hoping not to post until I had news to relate but, sadly, I have no news to relate. No boulders falling from the sky. No snakes. No flaming arrows flying at my head. No jewels waiting on the head of a statue deep in the bowels of the temple...
Okay, enough Indiana Jonesing. I suppose the week isn't over yet so I shouldn't count my chickens but I'm still feeling like it won't be this week. Time in editorland passes differently to time out here in unpublished authorland. And justifiably so. Editors have many published authors to deal with as well as sifting through the slush. I, on the other hand, only have one ms to think about and lots of time to do it in. Four months certainly gives you a perspective on what you've done and I've learned quite a lot in the past four months. I would not have written the partial now like I did back in January. However, the main thing about this sub is that I still think the conflict holds up. Certainly didn't feel that way about my last submission. But my thoughts on the subject don't count. It's whether the ed feels the same that matters.
Anyway, until I hear there's nothing much else to do but write, write, write. It IS the best way to forget about a sub. In the four months of my wait I've already polished up another ms, written the first draft of a second and written the first chapers of mss number 3 and 4. So I should have a nice tidy stack of mss ready to go by the time I hear back.
Guess this means that should there be an R destined for me, I won't be giving up. Feel free to remind me of this the next time an R comes along...;-)
So, in the interests of NTAI, here's a situation for you: One love scene. One heroine. One catsuit. Boots. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get the heroine out of the catsuit without removing her boots. Discuss.
And when you've figured it out, let me know cos it's doing my head in. ;-)
Okay, enough Indiana Jonesing. I suppose the week isn't over yet so I shouldn't count my chickens but I'm still feeling like it won't be this week. Time in editorland passes differently to time out here in unpublished authorland. And justifiably so. Editors have many published authors to deal with as well as sifting through the slush. I, on the other hand, only have one ms to think about and lots of time to do it in. Four months certainly gives you a perspective on what you've done and I've learned quite a lot in the past four months. I would not have written the partial now like I did back in January. However, the main thing about this sub is that I still think the conflict holds up. Certainly didn't feel that way about my last submission. But my thoughts on the subject don't count. It's whether the ed feels the same that matters.
Anyway, until I hear there's nothing much else to do but write, write, write. It IS the best way to forget about a sub. In the four months of my wait I've already polished up another ms, written the first draft of a second and written the first chapers of mss number 3 and 4. So I should have a nice tidy stack of mss ready to go by the time I hear back.
Guess this means that should there be an R destined for me, I won't be giving up. Feel free to remind me of this the next time an R comes along...;-)
So, in the interests of NTAI, here's a situation for you: One love scene. One heroine. One catsuit. Boots. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get the heroine out of the catsuit without removing her boots. Discuss.
And when you've figured it out, let me know cos it's doing my head in. ;-)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
A Miracle - The Non Sassy Heroine
Is this even possible in Modern Heat? Having a heroine who is not sassy? Is not quick with the comeback? Does not give the hero what-for at every given opportunity?
This, friends, is my conundrum. Having left the Frenchman to stew quietly in his own juices (don't go there) for a wee while, the time has come to revisit my nearly-there manuscript. The manuscript that might have been a winner if its author hadn't fell at the last hurdle and botched the revisions. Sigh. Anyway, the heroine in this manuscript is non-sassy. She is a stammerer. A stutterer. She's nervous, ungainly and finds herself completely out of her depth with the hero. So is she a Modern Heat heroine? Well, thing is, the eds liked her the first time round. They thought she was lovely. Which means the answer I'm hoping for is yes. Yes she is!
The problem with the ms the first time round was lack of believable conflict. This time round - now I have a much better idea about what I'm doing - I think I've got her conflict right. But she's still nervous and stammery. Still doesn't know what to say or what to do when she meets the hero. However the one thing she has got, that the hero needs, is honesty. She's unflinchingly, unfailingly honest. About herself and she certainly pulls no punches when it comes to being honest with him. Good thing too because the hero has been lying to himself for a long time and needs her honesty in order realise it.
In many ways, she is my favourite heroine. I think probably because she's the first one I actually connected with while I was writing it. She was so nervous, I really felt for her. And yet she wasn't scared to tell him what a coward he was being later on so she wasn't a doormat by any stretch. She was different - there are lots of sassys out there but not so many stammeries!
Anyway, I'm tossing up between my non-sassy software developer or my extremely sassy protester. Usually what I do is choose the one with the closest love scene - yes, I'm shallow like that. :-) In this instance, since both love scenes happen in the first few chapters (at least, that's my plot. Could change I guess) I'm spoilt for choice!
Has anyone else written a heroine who is a bit different? If so, how did you find it? Was it hard?
This, friends, is my conundrum. Having left the Frenchman to stew quietly in his own juices (don't go there) for a wee while, the time has come to revisit my nearly-there manuscript. The manuscript that might have been a winner if its author hadn't fell at the last hurdle and botched the revisions. Sigh. Anyway, the heroine in this manuscript is non-sassy. She is a stammerer. A stutterer. She's nervous, ungainly and finds herself completely out of her depth with the hero. So is she a Modern Heat heroine? Well, thing is, the eds liked her the first time round. They thought she was lovely. Which means the answer I'm hoping for is yes. Yes she is!
The problem with the ms the first time round was lack of believable conflict. This time round - now I have a much better idea about what I'm doing - I think I've got her conflict right. But she's still nervous and stammery. Still doesn't know what to say or what to do when she meets the hero. However the one thing she has got, that the hero needs, is honesty. She's unflinchingly, unfailingly honest. About herself and she certainly pulls no punches when it comes to being honest with him. Good thing too because the hero has been lying to himself for a long time and needs her honesty in order realise it.
In many ways, she is my favourite heroine. I think probably because she's the first one I actually connected with while I was writing it. She was so nervous, I really felt for her. And yet she wasn't scared to tell him what a coward he was being later on so she wasn't a doormat by any stretch. She was different - there are lots of sassys out there but not so many stammeries!
Anyway, I'm tossing up between my non-sassy software developer or my extremely sassy protester. Usually what I do is choose the one with the closest love scene - yes, I'm shallow like that. :-) In this instance, since both love scenes happen in the first few chapters (at least, that's my plot. Could change I guess) I'm spoilt for choice!
Has anyone else written a heroine who is a bit different? If so, how did you find it? Was it hard?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
So What Do I Do Now?
Okay, so here I am, still waiting. No drama though. In many ways still waiting is good. Everything is still a possibility, nothing has been rejected. Yet. Groan. My only problem is feeling sick every morning as the Inbox of Doom fills up with emails.
Anyway, in order to help the NTAI along a little, I've been working on a couple of entries for a contest run by the RWNZ. It's a specifically category contest which is why I'm entering. Got my stories sorted bar some minor editing, just have the minor detail of the synopses to go. Did I mention how much I hate writing these? Yes? Well, I'm going to say it again mainly for venting purposes - I HATE synopses. Right. Will shut up about it now.
After these entries have been posted I then will have to think about which wip is the next wip. I'm leaving the Frenchman to simmer for a while before editing so in the meantime I shall have to press on with something else. And I think - seeing as how I've finally got the conflict sorted - it shall be Kate and Alex, my Feel the Heat entry. After so long, it's about time eh? And actually, quite looking forward to it since they're turning out to be one hot couple - I love it when they fight. ;-)
More on that anon, but first I need to annouce that I have been nominated for the 5-5-5 tag by the lovely Suzanne Jones. Thanks Suzanne! This is: 5 questions, 5 answers, 5 blogs to tag.
So here goes:
Question 1: Where were you five years ago?
1. I was a librarian in a university library.
2. Had only one child (not even thinking of number 2!).
3. Was trying and failing to write the great New Zealand novel because I was too busy writing romance stories instead. ;-)
4. Thought that internal conflict was something you got after eating too much chocolate.
5. Never dreamed I'd even get close to getting published.
Question 2: What is (was) on your to do list today?
1. Finish my competition synopses - fail.
2. Put away my supermarket shopping - fail.
3. Clean up my bedroom - fail.
4. Tidy my study - fail.
5. Get totally involved with my new wip to the detriment of everything else - success!
Question 3: What five snacks do you enjoy?
1. Coffee. Yes, it does count as a snack!
2. Dark chocolate.
3. Pretzels.
4. Cheese.
5. Chocolate martinis. What? They also count as a snack. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Question 4: What five places have you lived in?
1. Wellington.
2. Auckland.
3. Chiswick (London).
4. Golders Green (London).
5. Romancelandia (where I still live in my head).
Question 5: What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
1. Seduce my virgin secretary.
2. Keep a string of racehorses/polo ponies.
3. Buy vast mansions in London, Paris and New York.
4. Make secretive large charitable donations.
5. Claw my way up from a poverty stricken background, make shed-loads of money on the stock exchange and finally wreck my terrible revenge on those who wronged me.
Nominating 5 bloggers: Argh, I always hate this part. All the blogs I check out are cool but CPs get first dibs.
Rachel Johns
Janette Radevski
Lorraine Wilson
Maisey Yates
Jane Mulberry
Anyway, in order to help the NTAI along a little, I've been working on a couple of entries for a contest run by the RWNZ. It's a specifically category contest which is why I'm entering. Got my stories sorted bar some minor editing, just have the minor detail of the synopses to go. Did I mention how much I hate writing these? Yes? Well, I'm going to say it again mainly for venting purposes - I HATE synopses. Right. Will shut up about it now.
After these entries have been posted I then will have to think about which wip is the next wip. I'm leaving the Frenchman to simmer for a while before editing so in the meantime I shall have to press on with something else. And I think - seeing as how I've finally got the conflict sorted - it shall be Kate and Alex, my Feel the Heat entry. After so long, it's about time eh? And actually, quite looking forward to it since they're turning out to be one hot couple - I love it when they fight. ;-)
More on that anon, but first I need to annouce that I have been nominated for the 5-5-5 tag by the lovely Suzanne Jones. Thanks Suzanne! This is: 5 questions, 5 answers, 5 blogs to tag.
So here goes:
Question 1: Where were you five years ago?
1. I was a librarian in a university library.
2. Had only one child (not even thinking of number 2!).
3. Was trying and failing to write the great New Zealand novel because I was too busy writing romance stories instead. ;-)
4. Thought that internal conflict was something you got after eating too much chocolate.
5. Never dreamed I'd even get close to getting published.
Question 2: What is (was) on your to do list today?
1. Finish my competition synopses - fail.
2. Put away my supermarket shopping - fail.
3. Clean up my bedroom - fail.
4. Tidy my study - fail.
5. Get totally involved with my new wip to the detriment of everything else - success!
Question 3: What five snacks do you enjoy?
1. Coffee. Yes, it does count as a snack!
2. Dark chocolate.
3. Pretzels.
4. Cheese.
5. Chocolate martinis. What? They also count as a snack. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Question 4: What five places have you lived in?
1. Wellington.
2. Auckland.
3. Chiswick (London).
4. Golders Green (London).
5. Romancelandia (where I still live in my head).
Question 5: What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
1. Seduce my virgin secretary.
2. Keep a string of racehorses/polo ponies.
3. Buy vast mansions in London, Paris and New York.
4. Make secretive large charitable donations.
5. Claw my way up from a poverty stricken background, make shed-loads of money on the stock exchange and finally wreck my terrible revenge on those who wronged me.
Nominating 5 bloggers: Argh, I always hate this part. All the blogs I check out are cool but CPs get first dibs.
Rachel Johns
Janette Radevski
Lorraine Wilson
Maisey Yates
Jane Mulberry
Monday, April 5, 2010
Hi, My Name's Jackie and I am a Writerholic
Just got back from an Easter break and am feeling very writing deprived. Apparently it's good to have a rest but I tell you five days without writing anything feels like torture to me. Luckily I wasn't in the middle of a wip otherwise it would have been hell. Still, the one good thing about being away is that there was lots of opportunity for thinking time.
I'm currently writing a synopsis for a competition entry and it's giving me gyp. Of course, synopses are the devil's own work and this was annoying me in particular because it's a rewritten version of my Feel the Heat story. Now rewriting previously rejected stories is HORRIBLE. Especially when they only have a passing acquaintance with conflict. Actually, scrub that, this story wouldn't have known conflict if it leapt up and bit said story on the backside. Hence the complete rewrite. In fact, nothing remains of the original apart from the character names, the hero's profession and that there is a protest involved. The rest of it has been totally done-over. Sounds good right? Well, it would be if I could get the conflict sorted. For nearly a year and a half I've been trying to get the conflict on this story okay. Yep, that's right, a year and a half. You'd think it would be easy. Nope. Problem has been not knowing what the hey I'm doing. I mean, here's the thing, you've got to make each character the worst possible person for their counterpart, and yet the best. They each have to learn something from the other which means they both have to lack something that the other has. But they both have to have qualities that the other admires and yet also something that keeps them apart.
Think I've mentioned jigsaw puzzles haven't I?
Groan. Anyway, think the last part of the puzzle slotted in over the weekend. Bout bloody time. Now, the reason it's taken me so long is that I never really had a good enough idea about what I was doing with conflict until now. Of course, the editor could disagree with that but at least it's more right than it's ever been (famous last words!). And the answer - as it was in the beginning - is in the characters. Their lives up until this point, the kind of people they are, what they admire, what they dislike, what they're secretly afraid of, and what they're currently doing in order to mask this secret fear. I think I've done it and then I realise that I've neglected to ask myself what my heroine's relationship with her mother was, or how she viewed her father or her siblings or whatever.
I have to say, the friends we went on holiday with were rather puzzled by my conversations with Dr Jax. "You know Kate? What's she afraid of?" I would ask him as we were walking along the beach. Or, "Remember Kate? I need her to do something that teaches him this thing but I don't know what she does," as we were in the middle of a card game. Or "I think I'm getting rid of the baby. It doesn't add anything," as we were watching one of the kids having a tantrum. ;-)
Yes, even on holiday I do not have a holiday from writing. One of my friends asked me how many hours I put into this 'job' and I couldn't put a number on it. Suffice to say that if I was actually paid for every hour that I put into it, then I'd be rich!
Anyway, now I have my conflict sorted, I can write my synopsis and send away my competition entry. Woohoo. In the meantime I am reading Mira Lynn Kelly's debut Modern Heat and loving it. Gosh those Modern Heat gals are good eh? Tough acts to follow. WTG and congrats on yor release Mira!
I'm currently writing a synopsis for a competition entry and it's giving me gyp. Of course, synopses are the devil's own work and this was annoying me in particular because it's a rewritten version of my Feel the Heat story. Now rewriting previously rejected stories is HORRIBLE. Especially when they only have a passing acquaintance with conflict. Actually, scrub that, this story wouldn't have known conflict if it leapt up and bit said story on the backside. Hence the complete rewrite. In fact, nothing remains of the original apart from the character names, the hero's profession and that there is a protest involved. The rest of it has been totally done-over. Sounds good right? Well, it would be if I could get the conflict sorted. For nearly a year and a half I've been trying to get the conflict on this story okay. Yep, that's right, a year and a half. You'd think it would be easy. Nope. Problem has been not knowing what the hey I'm doing. I mean, here's the thing, you've got to make each character the worst possible person for their counterpart, and yet the best. They each have to learn something from the other which means they both have to lack something that the other has. But they both have to have qualities that the other admires and yet also something that keeps them apart.
Think I've mentioned jigsaw puzzles haven't I?
Groan. Anyway, think the last part of the puzzle slotted in over the weekend. Bout bloody time. Now, the reason it's taken me so long is that I never really had a good enough idea about what I was doing with conflict until now. Of course, the editor could disagree with that but at least it's more right than it's ever been (famous last words!). And the answer - as it was in the beginning - is in the characters. Their lives up until this point, the kind of people they are, what they admire, what they dislike, what they're secretly afraid of, and what they're currently doing in order to mask this secret fear. I think I've done it and then I realise that I've neglected to ask myself what my heroine's relationship with her mother was, or how she viewed her father or her siblings or whatever.
I have to say, the friends we went on holiday with were rather puzzled by my conversations with Dr Jax. "You know Kate? What's she afraid of?" I would ask him as we were walking along the beach. Or, "Remember Kate? I need her to do something that teaches him this thing but I don't know what she does," as we were in the middle of a card game. Or "I think I'm getting rid of the baby. It doesn't add anything," as we were watching one of the kids having a tantrum. ;-)
Yes, even on holiday I do not have a holiday from writing. One of my friends asked me how many hours I put into this 'job' and I couldn't put a number on it. Suffice to say that if I was actually paid for every hour that I put into it, then I'd be rich!
Anyway, now I have my conflict sorted, I can write my synopsis and send away my competition entry. Woohoo. In the meantime I am reading Mira Lynn Kelly's debut Modern Heat and loving it. Gosh those Modern Heat gals are good eh? Tough acts to follow. WTG and congrats on yor release Mira!
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