Nothing to Say So Here's a Picture of a Man Instead

Iam feeling generally unenthused about everything at the moment, most especially writing. Oh, don't get me wrong, I always write. Every day, mostly. But the writing has become a bit of a battle lately and nothing's going right.

So to save you all from a fantastic vent, I am posting a nice pic of a nice man instead. I've posted him before but I think he's worth a second glance. He is my inspiration for my chessplayer hero, which I am now in the process of rewriting from Riva to Presents. And considering how much easier it is to write as a Presents, it probably means I've been aiming this story at the wrong line.

Bah.

A Post About Rugby (No, Really)

If you had told me two weeks ago I would be writing a blog post about rugby I would have told you you were mad. I am not a ruby fan. I never watch it. I know the ball is oval, that you need to score a try to earn points and that you can earn more points by kicking a goal. I know that the big huddle of men on the field is called a scrum. But that's it. Up until yesterday, I didn't even know that the first five eight is a position, not the first man who's over 5'8. :-)

This is unheard of for a NZ'er. Especially during the World Cup. What world cup you ask? Well, the Rugby World Cup. It's kind of a big deal here because we've been hosting it (no, not me personally though I could use the $100 million or so revenue that's apparently been generated). Plus the fact that we are a really tiny country and rugby is just about the only team sport we can compete on the world stage and stand a good chance of actually winning. Which we did on Sunday night.

Now, as I said, I never watch rugby but it was difficult to get away from the final game since we were in it and we were supposed to walk all over poor, old France. In actual fact, France nearly walked all over us. I could not watch the game. Jackie, who actively dislikes rugby, could not watch it because I was too damn nervous. In fact, it was ridiculous how invested I was in this game. I played computer games while trying to ignore the howls from the living room, my little heart leaping every time there was a cheer.

What's this got to do with writing? Hang on, I'm getting there. Anyway, we finally won. By one point. And I was watching the commentary afterwards and hearing what they were saying and thinking, wow, this game is a little like writing for publication. The same nervousness (as you wait on a submission), the same grim determination to hang on when everything looks like another big rejection, the same sense of helplessness when the other team score....
And then the commentary started talking about this one, particular All Black. Two weeks earlier, Stephen Donald had been watching the cup on TV, having a beer and doing a spot of whitebaiting (fish, if you don't know what whitebait are). He wasn't in the Cup squad and had been told pretty firmly he wouldn't be either. And yet two weeks before the big final, due to injuries concerning other players, he got a couple of calls on his mobile - which he didn't answer because he was too busy with his whitebait. Eventually when he did, the news was that he had been called up onto the squad. Then on the night, after more injuries, and he was called onto the field. Then he kicked the goal that earned us the Cup. From zero to hero in two weeks.

The commentary afterwards talked a lot about Stephen Donald. About how, when you think it's all over, when the country has forgotten you, opportunities can come along and you can suddenly find yourself right in the middle of it again. That these opportunities come when you least expect them to. Apparently sport is full of these moments, but, from what I hear from other writers, writing is like this too. That right when you least expect it, when you've got your hundredth rejection, something comes round the corner that you never thought would happen.

I hope that's the case. Because right now, I'm feeling a little like Stephen Donald. I'm sitting on my couch with my beer (no whitebait though cos I hate fish. Okay and replace the beer with a martini, cos I don't like that either!). I'm watching the Cup on telly and cheering everyone else on, wishing I was there too and wondering if I've missed my chance. I hope not cos unlike Stephen Donald, I have been training really, really hard. And one thing's for certain - if the call ever comes, I won't be too busy fishing to answer it. :-)

Calm the $%* Down - Tips for the Over-Optimistic Writer

I am an optimist. No, really, I am. "But you run your subs down ALL the time!'' I hear my CPs shout. It's true, I do that. But that's just a cunning front. Because deep inside, I am an honest to God, genuine, over-the-top optimist. And not in a 'I think my sub isn't too bad and perhaps I might get a request for more this time' way. In a 'OMG, what if the editor loves this SO MUCH she calls me before she's even finished the first page and offers me a million dollar contract right there and then???' way.

It's giant pain in the butt. Every single time I send out a sub or enter a contest, this little piping voice is going "Hey hey hey! What if...???" And no matter how I try to ignore it, some part of me is nodding and thinking, 'yeah...wouldn't that be awesome?' So when I actually get the 'This submission is so bad, my dog could write it better than you'* letter it is GUTTING. Because although I tell myself it's fine, deep down I'm envisaging movie rights and Angelina Jolie in the title role. It sucks and so I have to stomp on this little voice because all the things its telling me are Never. Going. To. Happen.

However, the problem with this is that then you start sounding negative about everything due to the fact that you're constantly talking yourself down. And you don't really want to be doing that either. So what can you do about it? How to deal with the disappointment?

Well, I have taken the liberty of compiling a little list (warning, use at your own risk):

1. Knock your head repeatedly against a wall until a) the voice shuts up or b) you knock yourself unconscious.
2. Compromise. If it will stop telling you the editors are SO going to ring you at 3am to tell you how much they love it and are going to publish it RIGHT NOW, then you'll stop trying to tell it that in fact the editors will be sending YOU a request letter requesting that you never submit to them again.
3. Let it have its fun. Listen to its siren songs. Then go off and have as martinis as you need to forget you ever listened to it in the first place.
4. Stick your fingers in your ears, sing 'lalalala' loudly until you can't hear it anymore.
5. Book yourself into a nice little hospital for a nice little 'rest'.
6. Give into it. Believe everything it says. Then write rejection letters to publishers rejecting their rejections.
7. Pack it up in a box labelled 'Satan', push it to the back of your mind, and get lost in writing your next book.

Okay, so is this sounding as mad as I think it does? Or does anyone else out there have OTT Optimists that need settling down too?

*Not an actual quote from an actual rejection in case you were wondering.

The Dog Ate My Blog Post

Because school holidays have ruined my career as a wanna-be romance novelist, not to mention keeping this blog up to date, I'm taking the easy way out post-wise and directing your attention to the Sisters' site where I have a post about emotion up there. It's one I was going to do for here but since I forgot it was my turn to do a post and considering that dogs can't really eat blog posts (I don't have a dog anyway), I had no excuse but to sacrifice it to my Sisters. It's on emotion in conflict and also has a totally gratuitous picture of Magnum PI.

If that doesn't float your boat and music is more your bag, then go here where, for your veiwing pleasure the lovely Maisey Yates covers an Adele song. She can write, she can sing...Is there anything this woman can't do?? :-)

A Budgie Called Doris - The Perils of Backstory

I am consistently amazed by how little backstory you need in a first chapter. I know! Who'd have thunk it? But it's true. The reader does not need to know as much you think they do.

The reason I'm concerned with backstory is that I've been wrestling with the beginning of this chess ms and as I was reading over the last few iterations, I realised something. I've fallen into the old backstory trap too. As in detailing EVERYTHING that has led up to the moment my hero and heroine meet. Oh, I tried to kind of feed it in all subtle-like but there were still paragraphs of explanation. Paragraphs, people! And fundamentally none of those paragraphs needed to be there.

As a friend of mine shared with me last week, a bit of advice she had from somone else - you need to start the story when the water boils. You do not need to start with the heroine choosing the pot. Deciding whether to use hot or cold water. Finding the right top for the pot. Turning on the element. Putting it on the stove. Setting the timer....etc, etc. Get the idea?

It's very tempting to put everything in that first chapter. Because you know all about your characters and they're so interesting, you want the reader to be interested too. Plus you think it's vital that the reader knows the set-up otherwise how will they understand what's going on? Actually, readers (and I say this completely as a reader) are very forgiving with setup. If the story grips them immediately, they're not going to worry about why the bad guy is chasing the hero. Or why the heroine's company is going down the tubes. They'll trust you to explain it eventually. All they need to know is that the bad is chasing the hero and that the heroine's company is going down. What they want to know is what does the hero/heroine do about it? At least, that's what I want to know.

Say, for example, you have a hero whose major conflict is that he had a budgie called Doris who died in a tragic birdbath accident because he left her cage open once when he was a boy. He never got over it and now he refuses to love anything for fear of losing them and also has a terrible fear of water. Now, say your opening chapter starts with his goal of wanting to buy the heroine's bird sanctuary. But she doesn't want to sell for reasons of her own. Now, you could start this with the hero talking to a colleague about how he's tried to buy up all the bird sanctuaries in the area but hasn't managed to land this one. Or you could start it with the hero musing moodily out the window about how this tricky heroine has manage to elude him yet again. Or you could start it with him looking in the mirror and reflecting on how handsome everyone tells him he is but he doesn't think so but he kind of likes the way the light shines on the artfully messy spikes of his blue-black hair ( do NOT do this one btw).
Or you could start it with the hero having to row a boat over a lake to get to the heroine's house so he can talk to her in person.
Hint: three of these starts are detailing putting the pot on to boil. One of them is the pot boiling.
In the fourth, in one fell swoop, you have the hero trying to overcome a fear (conflict) to get the sanctuary (goal) because he's a perfectionist and he has all the sanctuaries in the area and this is the last one on his list (motivation). You don't need to go into the reasons why this is. All the reader needs to know is the above. Of course they'll be thinking 'why is he rowing?' 'Why can't he just call her?' 'Why does this matter to him?' But that's all stuff that will become clear in the story as you go on.

Anyway, that's probably a very bad example, but I reckon a good excercise to do is to take out ALL the backstory in your first chapter, then read it as if you don't know these characters or their story. Then put back only what you need in order to make sense of it. Nothing else. The rest you can feed in as and when you need it later.

Easy eh?

*Jackie rubs hands as another writing problem is easily solved* * contemplates rejections*
*gives up and tries macrame instead*

That Ole Emotional Connection Type Thing Again

When I was a baby author, I really liked my characters to fight ALL THE TIME. Why? Because I liked the angst and conflict and the torment and the anguish. It was awesome, plus I got to write hot, angsty love scenes which is always a bonus. Unfortunately there was also a problem with this approach. Like, where is the freaking romance here???

Angry, fighty scenes are all yummy and angsty and delicious but if there's too many of them, you start to wonder why these two people are together if they hate each other so much and/or you just know their HEA is going to last all of five seconds. That, people, is not a romance. That is a soap opera.

Now, I'm not dissing soap operas here but if you want to write a good romance, you can't have fights and angst all the time. You have to have some moments where the characters love being together. When they make that all important emotional connection that tells the reader that these two are made for each other and when they sort out their issues, they will be together forever. And not in a 'eat every meal in total silence cos they can't think of anything to say to each other' kind of way, but a 'still having lots of nookie way into their 80s' kind of way. :-)

Anyway, the reason I've been thinking about this is because I've hauled out my chess ms with the idea of submitting in a contest and am wrestling with the beginning of it. I've rewritten the first three chapters of this wretched thing 50 million times already and it still isn't right. Why? Because it's a one night stand story and I just have NOT been able to nail down the emotional connection. When you find yourself writing paragraphs of justification and reasons for the heroine to sleep with the hero, you know something isn't going right. In fact, I figured that if couldn't write down her motivation in one sentence then I needed to stop writing until I could!

Now, I reckon emotional ONS stories are very difficult to get right. It's easy to get them to have the sex but to get two complete strangers to connect on an emotional level? Nup. Because what has to happen, in order to get that emotional connection going, is that both your characters have to drop - at least momentarily - their armour and be who they truly are with each other. You know that Michael Hauge thing about essence and identity? That essentially characters hide who they truly are behind a mask? What I mean is that in order for them to connect, each of them has to drop that mask. But because a ONS happens usually at the beginning of the book, it's actually very difficult for them to do that because as far they're concerned, they don't wear a mask. Their identity IS their true self (and I'm not talking dropping it all the way, I'm talking glimpses here. Flashes that intrigue and fascinate the other character enough that their emotions are engaged). Grrrr!

The other thing you have to get right in order to get that emotional connection is motivation. There is debate about whether guys need less motivation - it probably depends on the hero - but like it or not, the heroine has to have it (I know, I know, double standards). And it has to stem from something emotional, something to do with her conflict, because otherwise it'll end up being 'woohoo, sex!' which isn't bad if you're writing for Blaze. But it is if you're writing for some of the other categories (and hey, I know, I've got the Rs to prove it).

The reason this particular story has been difficult is partly because of the type of people my hero and heroine are, and partly because earlier, I didn't actually know them well enough. I knew their identities, but not the people they were inside. And without knowing that, I couldn't get them to connect on a deeper level. It was a bit like I'd taken two random strangers, put them in a room together and told them that they were hot for each other and could they make love now please. So not happening in other words.
It didn't help that my hero is not wanting sex at this particular time in his life and he's also EXTREMELY guarded so getting him to drop his mask for a bit (not to mention his trousers) was very, very difficult. Weird, I know. I eventually had to change the setup so he met the heroine at a moment in his life where those guards were perhaps lower than they would be normally. And then, because he wasn't into casual sex at that particular moment, I had to figure out what it was about the heroine in particular that affected him because mere sexual attraction was not enough for him (yes, he's a pain in the butt). But in order to know those things, I had to know him.

All in all, it was a very tricky business and no wonder I had difficulties at the start. Because what I was trying to do was make two people who would walk through boiling lava rather than admit to an emotional connection, have a bloody emotional connection!

But then isn't that what makes writing fun? Making our characters worst nightmares come true in the nicest possible way. :-)

So, what's the hardest thing you've ever made your characters do? And when I mean, 'you made' I mean that they did it themselves because of course you would never, ever, make your characters do anything... :-)