The Importance of Being Nervous

Why am I nervous? Because I've heard from the editor that I've been working with and she's told me that she should be getting to my partial in the next couple of weeks. Argh!!! And I've gone from impatient waiting to nervous twitching instead. Perhaps it's nicer not knowing. Because when you don't know, you can entertain all kinds of wonderful thoughts such as they love it so much they want your full manuscript instantly. Or that they offer you a fifty book contract on the spot. Or just that they like it but they want you to change a few things. I'd be happy with anything that isn't a flat-out no at this stage. :-)

The problem is that I've learned heaps in the past six months. Especially the past three. Which means that the partial I sent three months ago is probably not the partial I would send now. Sigh. But hindsight is a wonderful thing. I 'think' the conflict is okay - certainly the character biographies I sent through were approved of - so that should help, but ultimately you never know until the editor gives you the magic yes. I still like my partial, I still think it was good. There are things I would change now but that's just to do with pace. In spite of all of that, I may get the flat-out no. And in which case - here's the important thing - I do have another manuscript ready to go. I'm not giving up until I get the 'please do not submit to us again' letter*.

No retreat, no surrender right?

*Note: There is no such letter (that I know of). :-)

Headache or Plot Device?

Finished my Frenchman. Yes, it was fast but I'm realising that writing the first draft really quickly is kind of my process. I have to get it down ASAP because if I don't, I lose interest and never finish it. And since finishing is a weak point of mine, it's something I really have to work at and be disciplined about. Anyway, I'm already thinking that I'm going to have to change the middle of it. Why? Well, some explanation is required.

My hero, in the beginning, has a migraine that affects his vision (yes, apparently this is rather girly but hey, I can change it if I need to). Cue practical, efficient heroine who takes charge of him while he's extremely helpless. This ties nicely into his conflict of hating to be helpless, while at the same time, showcasing the heroine's trustworthy nature. Okay, this may have a whiff of the plot device about it but I'm keeping it for the beginning for the meantime (external conflict brings them together right?). However the whiff does get a tad stronger later on because he has another one - this one is different because he willingly places himself in the heroine's care for the first time, thereby demonstrating his growing trust in her and also having this trust repaid. But, I've already used this situation in the beginning so is using it again overkill? I didn't want him to have one migraine and then it never be an issue again (definitely a plot device!) and yet I didn't want to keep going back over the same ground. My gut feeling, though, is that yes, it's overkill. Not to mention the fact that it makes the whiff of plot device rather more stench-like.

The problem is that MH (and a lot of the other M&B lines) are character driven. I never really got a good idea about what this means until recently but now I do, I can see why my migraine thing may be just a plot device. Character driven means the character drives the story through the decisions and actions that they take. They don't stand there and have things happen to them. Hence my problem with a migraine. A migraine happens to someone, someone doesn't happen to a migraine. So really, if I want to showcase my hero's developing trust in the heroine, what should be happening is that a decision he makes places him in a situation where he has to trust the heroine rather than have the situation happen to him. But this is the difficult part for me - thinking of the situation! Because as a billionaire who hates losing control, why would he make a decision that places him in a situation where he has none? The answer probably will lie with the heroine and the chain of action and reaction that happens in the book. Somewhere along the line, she'll do something and his reaction will be to place his trust in her. In fact, I have an idea right now as I'm typing this....

What do you guys reckon? Is a headache just a headache or is it plot device? ;-)

The Trouble with Endings

Is that I find them hard to write. I think I may have mentioned before how hard I find them. Which is possibly why, until I started writing romance and seriously trying to get published, I never finished any of the stories I used to start.

I'm not sure what it is about them that I find difficult. Before I really got into learning the technical aspects of writing romance, I used to find that the problem was the cheesiness of them. The obligatory here's-why-I-was-so-horrible-to-you explanations. But now that I know a little more about what I'm doing, it's even worse than that just the cheesiness: it's the tying up of the conflict.

Has each character completed their journey? Have they learned enough from each other in order to take that last step and overcome their conflict? Have I tied up any loose ends? Have I introduced something I shouldn't? Argh! Several people have commented in the last couple of blog posts that the more you know, the harder it gets and you know what? They're right! Before I knew any of this it was 'I love you'. 'I love you too'. Kiss. The End.
Not any more.

The reason for the angst is that I'm nearing the end of the Frenchman. Got the Black Moment then the resolution to go. I know how it's going to play out, but I've got bogged down yet again. I think - as usual - it's because one of them needs to act and I'm not quite sure what that action is yet. It'll be something to do with their conflict that will precipitate the black moment but I'm still feeling my way a little here. Ah well, I always have this problem during a first draft. I'll go like the clappers for a while and then come to a shuddering halt. But no doubt I'll figure out what one of them needs to do and then I'll be off again and I'll find write the end of the wretched thing. And you know what? Just writing this blog post has given me an idea... The Frenchman likes to be in control so what does he do when he feels a situation is sliding out of his control? He likes to get it back!

On that happy note, anyone else find endings difficult to write? Please don't say I'm the only one!

The Rudeness of the Frenchman

I'm not talking about Frenchmen in general, just about my particular Frenchman. And his problem with rudeness. Because sadly, in the first chapter he is not at his best and is quite rude to the heroine. Now some people who have met him had no problems with his rudeness and yet others found it difficult. So what's a girl to do?

He is rude for a reason, naturally. The heroine meets him when he is in considerable pain. For an alpha male who is the leader of a huge corporation, a man for whom control over any situation is vital to him, having some stranger see him when he is in helpless and in pain is kind of his worst nightmare. Especially when she tries to help him. So yeah, he's rude. He doesn't want her help. He just wants to be left alone. Unfortunately though, this makes him unsympathetic to some people. I've tried to make him less rude but he won't have a bar of it. He hates the situation he's in and makes no bones about it.

So what to do? I do have his POV a bit later in the chapter so you get a glimspe about why he's so rude and I think I can make it clearer but maybe it's too late by then. Certainly by chapter 2, he's feeling very guilty at his lapse in manners but again, perhaps it's too little too late?

But you know, I don't think I can pull back his behaviour. I like him being helpless. He needs to be too because part of his journey is learning he can trust the heroine - and how better to do that have her rescue him when he needs help? It's just that he really doesn't like it, especially because he's not in control of the situation.

Sigh. What do you reckon? Shall I take a whip to him and make him a bit nicer? That's if I can. You ever tell an alpha male what he should or shouldn't do?

Don't Just Stand There - Do Something!

Yes, problems with the Frenchman yet again. Honestly, I don't know what it is about this ms that's causing me so much grief! That man needs - in the immortal words of my paternal grandfather - a good whipping with barbed wire. Anyway, so after rewriting the first chapter five times, I then had a problem with chapter 3. It was like wading through quicksand. And I couldn't figure out why. Luckily Dr Jax, back from his conference in Acapulco, was on hand to assist. He probably was hoping I'd leave talking about writing for at least the first hour after he'd got back in the door but he was sadly mistaken....

To cut an extremely long story short, after discussion (AKA me moaning for a good long time about how it wasn't working), we finally figured out what wasn't working. My characters were standing around talking. That's it. There wasn't anything inherently wrong with the talking - it's all conflict - it's just that there was no action. No one was driving the story forward. No wonder it felt static and like nothing was happening!

I have to admit that this is a problem with my stories. I love dialogue so much that I tend to get carried away with it and have times where all my characters do is witter on to each other. I think I'm better than I used to be - I used to think that standing around talking about stuff was an action that a character takes - and hey, I did recognise that there was something not working about that chapter. It also made me realise that I had the same issue in a chapter in another story that also didn't feel right. Which is progress right?

So, instead of talking about stuff, I am going to get my hero to cease his jabbering and take some action. My heroine is a PA so what does a hero do with a PA? (mind out of the gutter please or off the desk, whichever takes your fancy) He gives her a job to do. Preferably one that she will NOT enjoy doing... ;-)

Anyone else have times when writing a scene is like quicksand? What do you do about it?

The Perils of First Chapters

Honestly, you wouldn't believe the trouble I'm having with the first chapter of the Frenchman. Having planned out the conflict and a good idea about how I was going to start, I then somehow lost my mojo.

My problem is that I actually wrote three chapters of this last year, way back before I had a good idea about any of the stuff I know now about conflict and character etc. And I really liked those three chapters. Yes, they were gimmicky and I made my characters do things without thinking through their motivation, but I still really liked them. Being good, I thought I'd can them and start the story off afresh, with a new beginning that was less gimmicky and based more on the characters themselves. But you know what? After writing it first from her POV and then from his, it just didn't work for me. It felt stilted and not particularly dynamic. And this was a pain because I find that if I can't get my first chapter to work well enough, I can't write the rest of it! Now I can write ahead, though I don't normally, but the first chapter is the scene setter. It's the first glimpse of the h&h too and if it's not right, then this has a flow on effect for me and writing the rest feels like pulling teeth.

So, anyway, after three failed attempts at a new beginning. I went back to my old one to see if I could tweak it so it was less gimmicky. But still I had problems with it. Finally I thought about changing the setting to see if that helped and at last - draft 5! - I think I've got it the way I want. For now. Maybe I'll change it after I've written the rest of the story but at least it's done enough for me to feel comfortable with writing on.

Why did I want the gimmicky beginning? Basically because it taps directly into the hero's conflict. It features the hero in a situation where he has no control and the heroine having it instead. The previous drafts didn't have a situation that made it difficult for either of them. And if it's not difficult for the characters then there's no tension. And I wanted that tension.

So how about the rest of you? Do you find first chapters difficult? Or is it just me?? :-)

Vent of the Month Plus the Adventures of Hoo the Incredible Blue Octopus

I'm trying to get into writing my Naughty Frenchman but I have to say, I'm having a 'what's the point' week. The waiting is killing me - it always does - and even though I have lots of stories in the works, I'm feeling a bit directionless. I always get a bit like this as things drag on - usually just after submitting I'm fine for a few weeks and then doubts etc start to kick in. Targetting only one line does mean that you can't do anything else but write while you're waiting, and yes, writing IS the thing to do, but I can't help feeling that while it drags on I'm kind of standing still.

At my last RWNZ meeting, people asked me how I was getting on and one person said to me, 'oh, but you're nearly there aren't you?'. Thing is, I've been 'nearly there' for a whole year now. And in fact, there is no such thing as 'nearly there'. You're either there or you're not. As the lovely Karina Bliss told me, it's like being pregnant. You can't be nearly pregnant, you either are or you're not. I'm not.

It does not help that Dr Jax is currently gallivanting around Acapulco at a conference while I am at home with the kids. Not that I mind the kids (most of the time), it's just that I'd rather be the one at Acapulco! Unfortunately my place with Dr Jax has been usurped by a small, blue, stuffed octopus called Hoo. My daughter gave him the toy to keep him company and so far, the wretched thing has seen way more of Acapulco than it has any right to. Witness these pictures.

So, while my husband and a tiny blue octopus are having fun in sunny Acapulco, I shall while away the time trying to write Chapter 1 of the Frenchman for the fifth time (yes, it's taking me that long to get it right! Grrr).

Oh yes, and NTAI.

Anyone else finding the NTAI hard at the moment?

Building a Heroine (and An Award)

I've been putting this off because quite frankly, heroines are not my strong point. I prefer heroes because, well, to be honest, I'm way more interested in him than I am in her. And possibly also because I'm just not very good at writing a decent heroine. I think the only one of mine that I really liked was the geeky heroine in my sadly rejected full. She was lovely. Vulnerable, sweet, but terribly, terribly stubborn. Told the hero he was just a big, fat dirty coward. Loved her. She'll get her HEA one day but today I'm building my good old Kiwi girl to complement my naughty Frenchman...

Okay, so, my hero wants control in his relationships. He wants this because control quells the fear he has of being abandoned. So in order to really up the tension in this story, I need to give the heroine something that will really conflict with his need for control. And I'm going for independence here. So my heroine believes that independence or self reliance in her relationships is the key to fighting her fear of having love used to control her (backstory alert!). Having love used to control her made her feel she wasn't important and that her feelings didn't matter so she definitely wants to avoid this. Yay. Now I have two completely opposite motivations and secret fears here which is great because that's how I'll get the greatest tension in the story.

Of course,my problem now is that if the heroine doesn't want to be controlled, why would she fall for a hero who wants to control things? So I'll have to give the hero some qualities that she will admire. These qualities will probably be related to her backstory. Perhaps in her past men have been unreliable and let her down, in which case she will admire trustworthyness and reliability. So I'll make him reliable and trustworthy. Since she values these attributes, she'll endeavour to make sure she herself is trustworthy too - thereby making her more attractive to the hero because, as you remember, if he thinks she's trustworthy, she'll be less likely to abandon him.

Right, so I have some conflict and motivation for the heroine. I've got some things for her to admire in the hero. So now I can build her backstory. If she wants independence then perhaps she runs her own company, likes to do things herself. Perhaps she's also practical and down to earth, good traits when it comes to pricking the arrogance-bubble the hero surrounds himself in. She will also need a spine of steel in order to stand up to the hero's demands. But that's okay because as her motivation is independence, that's totally in keeping with her character - she's not going to let anyone control her so she will fight him as and when required...
Hey, think I'm getting there. Not a stereotype in sight. And now I've got her most basic conflict straight, she'll act like she's supposed to and I won't have to give her extreme character traits to make her do what I want!

At least that's the plan.

Right, on with the award. I've been nominated for a Happy Cupcake Award! Thanks to Maya, Lacey, and Kerrin! This requires me to list 10 things that make me happy. So here they are, in no particular order:

1. Dr Jax.
2. My girls.
3. Kohu Road Dark Chocolate icecream.
4. Writing.
5. My latest hero.
6. A nice vodka martini.
7. All my lovely blog friends (shameless flattery, yes, I know).
8. A good book.
9. My iPhone.
10. Great Uncle Visa. ;-)

Now I should nominate 10 bloggers who also make me happy but since all of you already have been nominated and you all make me happy, I shall extend the award to anyone who missed out! Enjoy the cupcakes everyone!

Oh and how is everyone else's heroines getting on? Ready to shoot them yet?? ;-)

Building a Hero

I've decided I really like my new hero. Not that I didn't before, I just like him even more now I know where he's coming from. In my last post I mentioned I was going to try sorting out the conflicts first for a change, then build the characters around that, and then - lastly - figure out a plot. This is a big thing for me. Normally I get an idea for a opening scene and start writing immediately, finding out about my characters as I go along. Now this may work for some people, but it appears this method does not work for me. And I have the Rs to prove it!

Anyway, to avoid the horrible 60 million jigsaw piece scenario, I figured out the hero first, starting with his internal conflict. The way I like to think about good old IC is to think about a person's most basic fear. And then what the character does in order to fight that fear. My hero is afraid of being abandoned because it makes him feel unloved. So what does he do in order to fight that fear? He makes sure that no one leaves him. How does he do that? By being in control in his relationships. Remaining in control is his main motivation throughout the story and it's this need that will lie at the heart of all the actions and decisions he makes. It will also be part of the lesson he needs to learn - in order to have a healthy relationship with the heroine, he needs to learn to give up that control and get over his fear of abandonment.

Now I've figured out his fear and his motivation, I can build up the backstory. Such as why he has a fear of abandonment. How the need for control has worked throughout his life. How it has affected his previous relationships. Working out this conflict and how it has shaped my hero can also give me clues as to what qualities he admires in other people (heroine alert!). Qualities like loyalty (people who are loyal don't leave), dependability (people who are dependable are less likely to leave), tenaciousness (again, makes people less likely to give up or leave!). And also qualities that he may not like in other people (again, heroine alert!).

Of course, I'd like to say that his IC was all worked out first and then I got the idea for making him a French aristocrat but I can't kick my old habits and the whole French thing kind of developed alongside the rest of it. I think the important thing though is that the fact that he is descended from French aristocrats and is the head of a huge luxury goods company adds colour and maybe a few traits but it doesn't really have any bearing on his most basic conflict. So why did I make him French and head of a huge company? Well, I've never written a non-English character so I thought I'd make him French since I like the accent. :-) Plus if he's wealthy then I can add French Chateaus etc for the fantasy factor. The aristocracy bit and the head of the company will add to his alphaness naturally. Of course now he's sounding less Modern Heat and more Modern! Argh!

Anyway, I now have one piece of the jigsaw sorted. The next thing I have to do is build my old arch-nemesis: the heroine. I can hear her evil laugh already...

Oh, that's right, I was going to ask about nationalities. What's your favourite when it comes to heroes?