ARC Love!!

I haven't posted for ages because I wanted to wait until I got my ARC! And now I have! Yay! It looks like an actual booky book thingy that actual people might (will!) buy! It's got copyright info and an ISBN and a dedication and everything! *falls over with excitement*

My mission with my ARC is to read over and make sure the formatting is okay and there are no serious typos.

The problem with this mission is that I've already read the story fifty million times in the process of editing and line editing. And I'm pretty sure my eyes are now burned out of their sockets with it. Sigh.

I've also noticed that I now want to rewrite portions of it. Have cringed at repetitions I didn't notice, cliches I should have taken out...you know what I mean right?  I'm consoling myself with the thought that I always get like this after I've read an ms far too many times and that it's not as bad as I think. Anyway, it's too late now. The die is cast, etc. 

Reading my ARC on my iPad. Like an actual book!

So...uh....yeah. That's my excitement for the week and I'm basking like a basking shark.

What about you? Anything exciting happened for you this week so far?

The Story of a Story

I'm on the Entangled Authors blog talking about the looooong four year journey my story went on before it was accepted by them for publication. So if you fancy reading a novel length post about what happened, pop over to say hello. :-)

Dealing with Disappointment

Post SYTYCW I thought I might put up a little post about disappointment. Because I KNOW what disappointment tastes like and it's not bitter aloes. It's dog meat. Or cat's breath. Or dinosaur turds. Or like your most hated food doubled. Crap in other words.

Anyway, I know I didn't enter but I do feel the pain of everyone who didn't make it into the top 28. Believe me, I've been there. I entered SYTYCW and New Voices twice. Both times with both comps I got precisely nowhere. Not even a callback. And that's not even counting all the rejections and knockbacks I've had both before and since.

And you know what? It doesn't matter how many times someone says, 'competitions are so subjective'. Or 'it doesn't meant your story is crap'. Or 'it was just a popularity contest'. Or 'hey, I didn't get anywhere and look, I've sold fifty bajillion books'. Not getting anywhere STILL SUCKS!  And you're allowed to feel bad about it, just like you're allowed to moan about it to trusted friends and family and like-minded CPs.

But the one thing you must NOT do is give up. What you have to do is figure out a way to deal with the disappointment and carry on.

Because being disappointed doesn't stop with getting a rejection or not placing in a contest. It follows you through once you've been published too. You might not get the sales you wanted. You don't like your cover. You don't want to have to do the heinous revisions that have just landed. Your next story idea has been nixed by your editor. You didn't get the agent you've been hanging out for. You didn't win the Rita or get the Nobel Prize for Fiction.There's a whole host of disappointments just waiting around the corner in other words. So you kind of have to accept that if you want to be a writer, disappointment is something you'll have to live with.   

My method, at first, was chocolate. Then shopping. Then alcohol. Then crying on the couch. Then more alcohol. Then weeping over my computer to my CPs. Then more alcohol. You get the idea...But despite all that, the best way of dealing with disappointment for me was writing.  Getting excited about a new story, immersing myself in that instead of thinking about what I hadn't achieved. And then sending out another submission because while a submission was out there, I had hope. Pathetic maybe, but true.

It was about this time last year that I'd just about had enough. I'd had a few contest successes locally but only one partial request - that I angsted about so much the writing of it became terrifying rather than exciting. Then came nothing with New Voices and along with it another rejection. I'd just about had it with writing. It wasn't fun anymore, it was a chore. I was so scared to write anything because I found myself second guessing EVERYTHING I wrote. Did I have conflict? Were my characters acting consistently? Was it just about sex again??? My passion in life had become an unpleasant task and it was awful. I hated it.

If you've been following my blog, you'll know what I did after that. But I'm going to say it again because it bears reminding. What I thought  was 'bugger this' and flung all my craft out the window and wrote something that I didn't think I'd ever submit anywhere. It was for me and me alone. No one was going to read it so I could write whatever the hell I wanted. If I wanted lots of angst? Go for it! If I wanted lots of sex? Go for that too! Tough alpha male? Yep. Sweet. Friends to lovers? Do it. So I did. I wrote my story and completely broke out of the fear trap I'd got myself into. And the key to it was that NO ONE was going to see this so it didn't matter what I wrote.

And it became my first sale.

So that's why I say don't give up. Do whatever you have to do to deal with your disappointment. Then get back in the saddle and keep going. It's the ONLY way it's going to happen.

Awesome Book Cake!

I wanted to post this awesome photo because I have had some good news over the weekend which I can't tell anyone about yet but shall taunt you with mercilessly (and no, it's NOT another sale).  Anyway, the kids decided a celebration was in order and so - as a surprise - made me a book cake.  They got NO help. This was all their own work. My oldest daughter's idea, ably assisted by her younger sister and a friend.

Yes, it's a Falling for Finn cake. I've already shared this on Facebook and it was so good that I had to share it here too. As you can see, there wasn't enough room for 'Ashenden' so I'm just Jackie. The brown thing off to the left is a 'chocolate fish award' so as you can see, I am an award winner already.  Aren't they fabulous children??

Jackie Ashenden, Chocolate Fish Award Winning Author! 

Definitely has a certain ring to it.:-)

Anyway, while you help yourself to some virtual Finn cake, may I also bring to your attention a fabulous post on writing emotion by Maisey. It's a must read, no matter what type of romance you're writing.

PS. If you're desperate to know my news, you can DM me on twitter. Bribes of chocolate, expensive champagne, and diamonds gratefully accepted. ;-)

Putting the A in A-Hole

I've been writing more of my dirty virgin hero and pondering the mysteries of what makes a hero an a-hole for some readers and yet not for others. It's an interesting question. I've read books where the readers hated the hero and I haven't really been able to understand why because he seems fine to me. And yet I've also read others where I think the hero is a douche and yet readers rave about his dreaminess (not looking at anyone in particular FSOG).

I guess I'm pondering this more as I'm doing final edits for Finn and knowing that after these are done, he'll be going out to reviewers and OTHER PEOPLE will be reading my book!! People who might think he's a total douche and don't get why he should be with my heroine.

As well as being totally freaked out by this, I'm also kind of sanguine because hey, not everyone is going to like your books or your characters. But that being said, I'm interested to know what pushes people's buttons when it comes to a hero.

Myself, I'm very forgiving of heroes.  If the motivation is there, he can get away with anything basically and I hate it when writers water their heroes down in the name of political correctness or because they're trying to make him overly sympathetic. If he's angry, I want to be shown his anger and if he's angry with the heroine then so be it. Because why should heroines be the only ones who are allowed to get angry? Male anger is just as valid as female anger. Emotions like that, the 'flawed' emotions, also make them more real. Because I don't want to read a book about perfect people. Perfect people are boring. Political correctness is boring. Too sympathetic is boring.

I read a Presents a week or so ago and some of the reviews on the M&B site said that the hero was awful and some said the hero was awesome. So I bought the book to see what it was about the hero that polarised people, and well, now having read it, I can see why. He was wonderfully, gloriously arrogant and selfish and some of the things he said made me laugh because they were SO outrageous. I thought he was adorable because he'd totally embraced his selfishness and was out and proud about it. I loved it from a writer's perspective because the author did not pull back on him and I loved it from a reader's perspective because I could see how completely he was deluding himself.. You know he's going to fall HARD. In fact, for me, the more arrogant and jerky the hero, the more I love it simply because of that payoff.

And I suppose that's the rub for me. If there is no payoff, if he doesn't fall hard, if he doesn't grovel, then that's where he crosses my line into douche-land.

So, I guess that's what I'd like to know - what puts the a in a-hole for you when it comes to heroes?

Um....Another Sale

I am starting to feel a bit weird now. Like it's a dream and someone's going to rudely shake me away and tell me it's not real. That I didn't just sell six books in one year. Yes, that's right. Six.

Because I sent in my proposal (three chapters and a synopsis) of my Dirty Virgin Hero ms to my Samhain editor and the next day - along with my Finn edits - she says she loves it and also the idea for the linked book that I included. Oh and also she'd like it for print so make sure it's over 50k.

AAAAARRRRGHHH!!!!

I do not know how this has happened. I'm sure the ride is going to stop soon because it HAS to.

I do know that I am extremely pleased that my Russian chess player hero - whose story I wrote and rewrote so many times because I'm a stubborn bitch and I WANTED it out there because he's cool, and how can you not love a chess playing dude?? - is sold. Black Knight, White Queen is currently slated for release in July next year.

And now my tattooed virgin bad boy - tentatively titled Take Him - also has a contract. Plus the possibility of print which I NEVER expected at all.

I am...well....rather gobsmacked.

Even with all this, I'm still hoping the ride will contine because I'd love my sheikh to be released into the world. But I'm not sure real life happens that way. Right???

Anyway, I also just want to reassure those of you entering SYTYCW that if you don't get through to the next round, it's NOT the end. All of you who read this blog know I entered both New Voices and SYTYCW, and I got nowhere. However, my first New Voices entry now has a three book deal with Entangled and The Chessman - which was an SYTYCW entry last year - sold to Samhain (admittedly, as a very different story but same concept).  I also know of several people who also didn't get anywhere with their contest entries and yet sold the same book to M&B later.

The main thing really is to believe in your story.  Believe it deserves to be read.  And if you can't do either of those things then just being as stubborn as hell does the trick too. :-)

Right....*delivers chocolate martinis* *raises glass* A toast to my virgin hero! Who's with me?

Writing A Virgin (Hero)

I didn't enter SYTYCW this year and now I am suffering from a severe case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). To distract myself from possibly slipping up and quickly whipping in a last minute entry (I think the deadline is up anyway) I thought I'd do a post on.....

dun dun dunnnn....

THE VIRGIN HERO!

Yes folks, it's true. My current WIP contains a virgin hero. A tattooed, bad boy virgin hero to be exact and no, that is not a contradiction in terms. Now, I know some people will shriek that it's not possible to do a sexy virgin of the male persuasion but those that do so have obviously never read A Royal World Apart by the inimitable Maisey Yates (yes, spoiler, sorry).  It is possible for a man to be a virgin and be sexy. Oh, yes it is. It is all, as they say, in the execution.

However. Writing a female virgin in this day and age is difficult enough, let alone an alpha male in his early thirties. I mean, are there even men like that around who aren't geeks, weirdoes or still living with their mothers? And why would you even want to write about that kind of guy?

Well, for me it came about because my Samhain editor said on Twitter she was looking for more stories that contain virgin heroes. And of course Maisey was listening and told me about it, and naturally - because I ALWAYS want to tackle the hard subjects -  I thought excellent, there's my next Samhain story. Easy.

Not. Because it's fine to think 'I know, I'll write a virgin hero'. It's not fine when the time comes and you actually have to think up a reason for why a tattooed bad boy would be a freaking virgin. I know, I know, I could have made him a priest. Or a sexy geek who's never really been interested in women before because he likes science too. But oh no. I like to do difficult (yes, I am stupid) so I wanted him to be a bad boy. With tattoos. And a dirty mouth. Because the contrast between that and his virginity was just too, too delicious to resist.

But then, naturally, I had to think up a reason for his holding out. A reason that would encompass his bad dude appearance too, because that's a part of his conflict as well. This, gentle readers, was not easy and has resulted in a seriously screwed up individual. It's kind of scary how messed up he is. And yet really interesting at the same time. Role reversal has always been a particular interest of mine and I'm intrigued by how my non-virgin heroine will deal with this guy and what she'll say when his virginity is revealed. Already I'm feeling very protective of him and my heroine (who has loved him for a long time) is getting kind of pushy and I want to tell her to back off and leave him alone. He has issues, man. :-)

Anyway, the point I wanted to make is that his virginity is NOT his conflict. It is a consequence of his conflict. And it is his conflict that is the important bit. Because when you have a consequence like this - and let's face it, it's an unusual one in this era for men - if the conflict doesn't make sense or is not deep enough, then the reasons for his virginity won't be convincing. He'll come across as either being a martyr or a cry-baby or a whiner. None of which you want for your hero (and I'm hoping to God that my poor hero won't be any of these.

So maybe there is a lesson here for SYTYCW. Make your conflict simple. Make your conflict deep. Make it about your character. Once you have those things, the story will follow.

Alrighty so who is intrigued by the thought of a virgin hero? Who is crazy pants like me and wants to write one??  (oh and who entered SYTYCW??)