Post SYTYCW I thought I might put up a little post about disappointment. Because I KNOW what disappointment tastes like and it's not bitter aloes. It's dog meat. Or cat's breath. Or dinosaur turds. Or like your most hated food doubled. Crap in other words.
Anyway, I know I didn't enter but I do feel the pain of everyone who didn't make it into the top 28. Believe me, I've been there. I entered SYTYCW and New Voices twice. Both times with both comps I got precisely nowhere. Not even a callback. And that's not even counting all the rejections and knockbacks I've had both before and since.
And you know what? It doesn't matter how many times someone says, 'competitions are so subjective'. Or 'it doesn't meant your story is crap'. Or 'it was just a popularity contest'. Or 'hey, I didn't get anywhere and look, I've sold fifty bajillion books'. Not getting anywhere STILL SUCKS! And you're allowed to feel bad about it, just like you're allowed to moan about it to trusted friends and family and like-minded CPs.
But the one thing you must NOT do is give up. What you have to do is figure out a way to deal with the disappointment and carry on.
Because being disappointed doesn't stop with getting a rejection or not placing in a contest. It follows you through once you've been published too. You might not get the sales you wanted. You don't like your cover. You don't want to have to do the heinous revisions that have just landed. Your next story idea has been nixed by your editor. You didn't get the agent you've been hanging out for. You didn't win the Rita or get the Nobel Prize for Fiction.There's a whole host of disappointments just waiting around the corner in other words. So you kind of have to accept that if you want to be a writer, disappointment is something you'll have to live with.
My method, at first, was chocolate. Then shopping. Then alcohol. Then crying on the couch. Then more alcohol. Then weeping over my computer to my CPs. Then more alcohol. You get the idea...But despite all that, the best way of dealing with disappointment for me was writing. Getting excited about a new story, immersing myself in that instead of thinking about what I hadn't achieved. And then sending out another submission because while a submission was out there, I had hope. Pathetic maybe, but true.
It was about this time last year that I'd just about had enough. I'd had a few contest successes locally but only one partial request - that I angsted about so much the writing of it became terrifying rather than exciting. Then came nothing with New Voices and along with it another rejection. I'd just about had it with writing. It wasn't fun anymore, it was a chore. I was so scared to write anything because I found myself second guessing EVERYTHING I wrote. Did I have conflict? Were my characters acting consistently? Was it just about sex again??? My passion in life had become an unpleasant task and it was awful. I hated it.
If you've been following my blog, you'll know what I did after that. But I'm going to say it again because it bears reminding. What I thought was 'bugger this' and flung all my craft out the window and wrote something that I didn't think I'd ever submit anywhere. It was for me and me alone. No one was going to read it so I could write whatever the hell I wanted. If I wanted lots of angst? Go for it! If I wanted lots of sex? Go for that too! Tough alpha male? Yep. Sweet. Friends to lovers? Do it. So I did. I wrote my story and completely broke out of the fear trap I'd got myself into. And the key to it was that NO ONE was going to see this so it didn't matter what I wrote.
And it became my first sale.
So that's why I say don't give up. Do whatever you have to do to deal with your disappointment. Then get back in the saddle and keep going. It's the ONLY way it's going to happen.
17 comments:
Thanks for a look into the life of a writer. I'm submitting my first book. Haven't heard back yet, but it's nice to know a few ways to deal.
Great post Jackie! So inspirational. And congrats on the sale!! Wonderful news :) Jen
Thanks Jackie, for some great encouragement for the 662 of us who didn't make it into the Top 28 of SYTYCW. I'm making lots of jokes about it right now, but it's still a rejection and still painful.
It's good to remember that what we writers really need to concentrate on is what we WANT to write, not the story we think might sell. Perfect timing for me to hear this. Thanks again.
Stephanie - Hey, that's great stuff. Good on you! Yes, it's not an easy journey to publication (some have a shorter trip than others) but if you want it enough, you can do it. Crossing fingers for you!
Jen - Thanks! And congrats to you for getting through! Good luck with the next round - crossing my fingers for you too!
Janie - well, like I said, I know EXACTLY how you feel. It hurts. Rejections always hurt. But yeah, I think it's very important to keep writing the kinds of things you love to write about because that comes through in your story. And that's what will sell you in the end. Write without fear, that's my motto. Plenty of time for fear after you've finished writing! :-)
You are an inspiration Jackie! Great encouraging post!
Nas - you sweetheart! Thank you!!
Great post, Jackie, thank you. I know it doesn't all become a dream upon publication, but I hadn't comprehended how part and parcel disappointment could be in writing, which sounds depressing, but oddly isn't.
Glad all the disappointment you've had is balancing out nicely now!
Jo - Hey, no worries, I hope it helps. I thought when I sold everything would become magically better. But really, my angsts etc just move up another notch. I'm now looking at the reality of being just another contemporary writer amongst thousands and thousands, and it's going to be hard to try and carve out a little niche. But then, yeah, I find it comforting to know that everyone feels this way and that you're not the only one to worry about this kind of thing. Thanks - I'm sure there will be disappointments to come. I'm very disappointed, for example, I won't win the Man Booker. But then I guess we can't have everything. ;-)
Fabulous post Jackie, thank you. I remember when you almost quit last year, the pit you'd fallen into was so deep. But you hauled yourself out and here you are. Your post has reminded me to just keep writing, no matter what. Even though it all feels a bit pointless sometimes! Gotta have hope :)
Madeline x
Noice post. Agree about writing what you need to write and not second guessing. Every time I start worrying about whether what I'm writing is publishable it ruins my fun.
Great post, Jackie.
We all need to take a step back sometimes and remember why we got into this writing gig in the first place.
Some days I forget to have a 'play' on the page. Thanks for reminding me to look for the joy. :)
Found your blog through Twitter and it was perfect timing as another of Janie's 662 ... perhaps I had built up expectations too much by noting how many Facebook "likes" our first chapter had generated ... definitely in the top 25 in that category but obviously, it doesn't always translate to votes. But my co-writer and I KNOW we have a winner and will be submitting it anyway, everywhere we can. And you know why? Because we wrote something we wanted and that we would want to read. And that means someone else will too :)
Great post Jackie. As someone who's followed you for a long time now it's been so great to see you pubbed at last! Caroline x
Madeline - yeah, I did nearly quit. But as they say, it's always darkest before dawn. You just got to hang in there.
Fiona - I think everyone has that fear and it's hard because fear is such a limiter. I really do recommend kicking that fear in the butt and writing just to enjoy yourself. Keep hold of the fun!
Toni- hey, no worries! Yeah, I'm all for playing.
Aaron - that's awesome! And it's exactly what my CP told me. If you loved writing it, there WILL be someone who out here who will love reading it. And clearly you already have people who did. My first New Voices chapter was very popular with readers but didn't get anywhere in the comp. But I eventually got a 3 book deal at Entangled with it. So go for it I say. Crossing my fingers for you!
Caroline - ah, you're a gem. Thank you! And hey, me being published means less whininess so that's good too. ;-)
Jackie, you are an inspiration. Whenever i think, what's the point, i remember that i love it, and that even when you were so deep in disappointment you pushed on and made it, and so can i. We are Kiwi's after all ;)
Kerrin - we are! No 8 wire and all that. Yeah, keep pushing on, going forward because you get to the point where you've gone too far to go back. At least, that was my thinking. :-)
thanks Jackie! I always forget to check back but I appreciate the crossed fingers :)
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