Every Good Alpha Deserves A Hobby

A week? Argh, naughty Jackie! My only excuse is that I've been hard at work this week getting in more contest entries. Yep, anything and everything, that's my motto. Gotta be in it to win it etc, etc...

Anyway, it's one of these entries that got me thinking about heroes. Heroes and hobbies to be exact. Hobbies?? Yeah, hobbies. I know, I know, brings to mind stamps and miniature railways and birdwatching (not that there is anything wrong with any of these!) and possibly anoraks. All of which don't seem to be particularly hero orientated. But bear with me.

First let me tell you that there is nothing cuter than a man in the grip of a small enthusiasm. Dear Dr Jax for example. He often has little fancies. Last month it was fish. He investigated EVERYTHING. Tanks, correct water PH, oxygen thingies, the proper food, lights, the works. You would think he was getting some terribly expensive tropical fish but no, it was fresh water guppies. But the kids got to choose a tank ornament each, and now we have a little aquarium in our lounge. Since then he hasn't looked at the fish and soon it'll be something else, but while he was interested there was something so utterly endearing about it that it got me thinking about my heroes and their 'things' (no, not that thing). :-)

A hero with a hobby is a very human hero. A relateable hero. You might have the world's biggest alphole but if he has a passion for teaspoon collecting then somehow, that makes him more sympathetic (or not as the case may be. I guess it depends if you like teaspoons). It also provides a very nice way for the heroine to relate to him. Perhaps she buys him a rare teaspoon for his collection? What a way to show you care! And it can also be a lovely point of similarity - maybe she collects plates?

The plot opportunities for little hobbies can be good too. Perhaps the teaspoon collecting is part of his conflict? He MUST have the best collection in the world because he has to be the best at everything because when he was a kid his father always made him feel second rate. Or perhaps he loves fishing because it makes him feel closer to his dead mother. Or he likes making jewellery because he's actually secretly creative and doing finance deals doesn't satisfy that part of him.

Hobbies can be great ways to set up character as well. What is it about teaspoon collecting that he likes so much? Perhaps he's very neat and has them all ordered and displayed beautifully and then the heroine comes in and messes them all up. Or maybe he's into music and is very techy, and has to have the BEST stereo equipment (come on, everyone knows at least one guy like this, right?), and then the heroine makes a perfectly innocent comment about his stereo which then gets her a rave for HOURS. And she's enchanted by his boyishness. ;-)

Obviously, in giving your hero a hobby, you do have to make it part of his character. I wouldn't give a CEO a stamp collecting hobby just because it was different. The stamp collecting would have to be part of the type of guy he is. Why stamps? Did he collect them as a child? Why does he still collect them as an adult? Etc, etc.

So what's the most interesting hobby for a hero that you've read? I read a Susan Napier years ago where the hero grew roses. It was awesome!

No Holding Back!

Okay, it's official. Jackie is no longer holding back.

I know, I know, I was supposed to do this months ago. But I only really managed it in one chapter and that was my contest chapter. The rest of my mss, I've been dicking around with but not getting anywhere, questioning every action my characters took, every reaction. I told myself I wasn't going to worry about the little editorial voices in my head but you know what? No prizes for guessing.... Yeah, I've been listening to them.

The CPs have had to give me a slap round the head (Robyn and Maisey do an excellent good cop/bad cop routine) and since then, I've made a momentous decision. Ish.

I can write sassy and flirty, and I do it well. But sassy and flirty do not a story make. You need conflict and character and that's where I am having problems. Because I'm holding myself back. I'm trying to keep the light and flirty, but also have the intensity and angst that I love as well and it's not working for me. I keep injecting inappropriate tension and angst everywhere because that's what I REALLY want to write.

So, I'm giving up the light and flirty. I'm going all out on the angst. The intensity. The strong alphas. But I'm keeping my heroines stroppy. I'm doing Presents/Modern conflict and hero with a Riva heroine. I have no idea whether it'll work or not but already the Chessman - which Maisey had already told me was Presents - is benefitting. My hero (who was more Presents than Riva anyway, as I think Janet commented once) is no longer going to do stuff just to make him more sympathetic. If it's not in his character, then he ain't doing it. Like flirting. He doesn't flirt. He doesn't seduce. He has no light and flirty button. Neither does my heroine. She's hot-headed and stroppy and straight up. So Jackie must stop trying to make her light and flirty too.

And the next time I find myself questioning every action, every reaction, I need to ask myself this question - am I holding back? And if so, why?

Anyone else guilty of holding back??

Seven Random Facts

The beauteous Rach (newcarinauthorbookoutinDecemberbuyitbuyitBUYIT!!!) has nominated me for a blog award that means I have to reveal seven random facts about myself. Okay, so here goes:

1. I am a romance writer. Yes, shocking and you totally didn't know it right? Unpublished still but not unhopeful.

2. I have hereditary deafness and as I'm getting sick of being the old lady in the corner cupping her ear and saying 'eh?', have decided I need hearing aids. I don't want them. The thought makes me feel 81 not 41 but I think they'll help. AND they have bluetooth which means I can listen to my iPod without needing earbuds and use my mobile handsfree. From there I shall slowly replace body parts until I'm cyborg enough to assimilate the rest of the world. Mwwwaaahahaha!

3. Many, many moons ago when I was young and dumb, I had an argument with Dr Jax and hit him on the arm. Not hard I may add, but it was enough to break my arm. Yep, drama queen, that's me.

4. I may have mentioned this before but it's worth repeating. I got engaged in Prague, on the banks of the river, with a guy playing 'Autumn Leaves' on the saxophone just a couple of park benches away. It was magical. Dr Jax then rang my father to get his permission to marry me. My father was slightly bewildered. :-)

5. My 23rd birthday was celebrated in St Petersburg during the White Nights. Much vodka was consumed.

6. I have never eaten tripe and have no plans to ever do so.

7. When my best friend and I began writing romances at the age of fifteen, our heroes HAD to have titles and the stories HAD to be set in ancestral mansions. I blame watching too much Brideshead Revisited.

And now I have to nominate ten people but since everyone has already been nominated, I'm going to do something different and get anyone who wants to, to put a random fact about yourself in the comments instead!

Ask Dr Jax - Dr Jax Responds Part 3

Okay people, last Dr Jax post (until next month).

When two people meet, if they are the opposite end of the spectrum to each other, can they ever find a common ground? The situation I am thinking of is the following: If the woman has had major responsibilities in her life, but is now free and just wants to have no-strings attached fun, whereas the man, having lived a hedonistic lifestyle, now has major responsibilities, can there ever be a happy ending?

Dr Jax: Yes, definitely. They would have huge amounts of common ground. The woman knows what it's like to be responsible and the man knows what it's like to be hedonistic. But they've essentially met at the wrong time in their lives. What they need to do to get their happy ending is to synchronize what they want out of life. They are like pendulums swinging to extremes and both out of sync. But if the attraction is strong enough they will stop swinging so wildly and will slowly synchronize, finding a happy equilibrium.
They may also have other interests where they could connect. For example, liking the same authors, the same food, holidaying in the same place, etc, etc.

And this one is from me, because this is a HUGE problem for me. How do we know if our characters are being too self aware?

Dr Jax: A good rule of thumb is if you think they are too self aware, they probably are. :-) Other red flags (though not bad in themselves, they can be indications if taken as a whole that things aren't right): Your character frequently thinks about how events in their past have made them behave. Your character is never surprised by their own actions. Your character doesn't grow. These are the things that from a psychological viewpoint dont't reflect how real people behave. People don't think about events in their past as influencing their current behaviour. People are often surprised by their own actions. And people do change in response to things that happen in their lives.

So how self aware are people about their behaviour generally?

Dr Jax: Dimly at best. Solid research shows that our consciousness runs one to two seconds behind our actions. So we act, then become aware of acting, then we make up justifications for doing so.

Thanks once again for your questions everyone. Will do this again next month!

Ask Dr Jax - Dr Jax Responds Part 2

The good doctor responds to more questions...

Dr. Jax, do you think we're aware of the events in our past which have shaped us? Or is it more common to simply assume you're all right, and that you're more or less 'normal'?

Dr Jax: Yes, most people think they're okay. However, the things that shape us the most are the relationships we have with other people rather than events. And the most important relationships are the ones we have in the first two years of life - these echo throughout our lives. Yet we have no episodic memory of those years - or if we do, then we usually remember them wrong because episodic memory is unreliable. Of course, we are often aware of events in childhood and we may attach importance to those events but in reality single events shape us much less than relationships do.
Jackie's note: Here is where psychiatry and writing fiction diverges a little - as writers of course, we have to attach some importance to events as these are easily read signposts to the reader of our character's conflict. However, I think given how important relationships are to people, it's a good idea to examine an event that has happened in a character's life and make sure to assess how that event related/changed the relationships the character had with others, not just how the event changed the character themselves. As an example, the character with the abusive father - obviously the first time his father hit him will be a big event that will have an impact (no pun intended!) on him, but it's good to think about how that event affected his relationship not just with his father, but also with his mother (was she there? Did she see it? How did she react to it?) and brothers/sisters etc.

I have a question about my hero. He's a workaholic who can't acknowledge that he's capable of feeling love and believes that he doesn't want or need a permanent relationship--believes he's better off on his own. (loss in his childhood, father had stiff uper lip attitude and wouldn't talk about the loss so hero learnt to supress his emotions). The problem is that, going on this, this character doesn't sound much fun (very work- focussed and buttoned up) But I don't want him to be like that. I want him to be outgoing and full of charm. Is this inconsistent with the above? Would a man who's closed off emotionally (and scared to love) have culitvated an outgoing, charming image? What would his unconscious psycholigical motive be?

Dr Jax: Sounds like you want your hero to be two different types of people! However, you can make his behaviour more consistent. If his father was a stiff upper lip type of guy, then you need to decide whether your hero becomes like his father, or consciously tries to do the opposite. Perhaps he has developed a charming, debonair exterior as part of a decision not to let anything matter too much to him. Emotions are painful so he won't let himself feel too deeply, he just wants to have fun, float along the surface of life etc, etc. Unconsciously this is to protect himself from feeling because feeling equals pain, but consciously he perhaps would be telling himself it's because he doesn't want to be all buttoned up and stiff like his father.
Jackie's note: My chess hero has problem with emotion too. But I've chosen the opposite to charming and debonair. I've made him very serious and logical. No, he's not charming and flirty because he views being charming and flirty as pointless and he doesn't need it to get girls anyway. Consciously he is contemptuous of people who are emotional because it's logic that's important, emotion clouds thinking (he's like Dr Spock without the ears!). Unconsciously he is trying to protect himself from feeling because he is afraid of what happens when he lets himself feel - bad things happen when he gets angry. No, he's not the life of the party but that's part of his character arc - what happens when you give him a heroine who won't let him get away with being all serious and logical, forcing him out of his comfort zone?

So, I have a question. An overriding theme present in every one of my books is self-esteem (and I wonder what that says about me!?!). And all of my characters seem to define themselves through their work (or lost job, in some cases). I wonder how big of a role work plays in other people's lives. Is it common for people's self-esteem to be wrapped up in their job?

Dr Jax: Yes, very common, especially if this is the only part of your life that is going well. If other aspects of your life suck (such as love/social life) then work becomes extremely important to you because it helps you feel better about yourself. It gives you validation from the outside world etc.

So big heaps of thanks to the good Dr J!! Hope that was helpful to people. If there are more questions, I can do one more post so let me know. The doc is happy to answer any more - especially as he loves talking and hates the writing up so this is the perfect balance for him. :-)
If not, I'll run an Ask Dr Jax post next month.

Thanks all for your fabulous questions!

Ask Dr Jax - Dr Jax Responds Part 1

Got some great questions for Dr Jax - thanks everyone! I'll post some answers today and then some more tomorrow. If any of the responses prompt more questions, feel free to ask. I'll run this until the end of the week.

Have also decided to make the first Monday of each month a regular Ask Dr Jax Q&A. So if you haven't got a question this time, there's always next month.

Righto, before I launch into the answers, here is the usual disclaimer. Dr Jax is a psychiatrist, not a writer or editor, and any advice he gives is based on what would happen to real people in real life situations that may not be suitable for fiction.

Alrighty.... (Dr Jax's answers have been paraphrased)

Question 1: "I'm thinking oppression could break someone...or strengthen them to fight/rise up....does their personality type of other background play a part?

Dr Jax: Yes, background and personality do play a part. If their early experiences have taught them resiliency - ie good attachments to people, even if it was just one person who cared about them - then they would be more likely to deal resiliently to life's tragedies (fight in other words).

Question 2: Firstly, is it credible for a teenage boy to have a goal to be a volunteer doctor in third world countries, due to an unconscious need to prove his self worth following the deaths of his mother and brother in an accident? Secondly, is it credible for that boy, now a man, to leave Africa and his work as a volunteer doctor (and his unconscious quest for self worth) in order to return to the UK to be a father to a child he never knew he had? Or would he stay in Africa? Note: I've paraphrased this.

Dr Jax: Firstly, yes, it's credible for a teenage boy to have this goal - more plausible if he was the oldest brother (I met many people like this in med school!). To answer the second question, you need to consider what kind of person he is. As a kid was he serious? Or did he like to have fun? Was he curious? Or was he a cautious kind of person? What was he like at school? What were his favourite subjects at med school? etc, etc.
Then you need to look at that in conjunction with his past. How does he view fatherhood? Is being a good father important to him? Or does he put the needs of others before his own needs?
Also, consider how working in an under resourced third world country would have changed him. Because it would definitely change him.

Question 3: How do you start helping someone get over a phobia? Spiders for example.

Dr Jax: There are two ways of dealing with phobias. Flooding - which is sticking the person in a room full of tarantulas and keeping them in there until they're no longer scared. This works but is obviously very traumatic and not as effective as the second option. Systematic Desensitisation is the other way. This involves firstly learning deep breathing exercises and relaxation techniques (no mention of spiders at all). Then the 2nd step might be thinking about spiders as you practise your deep breathing. Third step might be talking about spiders- still deep breathing etc. Fourth might be looking at pictures of spiders while deep breathing, etc, etc. This goes on until you are able to look at real spiders and not feel scared. This process might cover a considerable period of time.
People's background and/or personality doesn't make any difference to the treatment.

Question 4: When figuring out conflict, we often use a character's early experiences with people to determine how they view life when the story opens. What I'd like to know is when they have these early experiences, how do people normally react? For example, if a character had an abusive father, would he become abusive himself or would he be more likely to abhor violence?

Dr Jax: People generally react in two ways to early experiences. They either identify with the treatment or they do the opposite. In this instance, your character may subconsciously decide that violence is okay and go on to be an abuser himself. Or he could decide that violence is never the answer and eschew it entirely. Note - when people do the opposite, they almost always do it in an angry way or in a way that makes a statement. For example, your character may tell his father angrily that violence is not the answer or deliberately not fight back as a way of making his point.

Okay, I'll post up Part 2 tomorrow. I have paraphrased people's questions and also Dr Jax's answers (let me know if I've got any of your questions wrong!). Feel free to post if you have any other questions, or use the contact tab just below my blog header!