From High to Low

Lucky me, I got an R for the Never Ending Story this morning. And I'm really annoyed about it. I've worked for 11 months on that story with the editor. Got the synopsis reworked, the character bios, the partial rewritten twice, and to not even get a request for a full is just so disheartening. Makes me question whether I know what I'm doing at all. Whether what they want from me is impossible to do.

The response was lovely, don't get me wrong. Very encouraging. But the reason for the R was because it was too much about the sex. At least the partial was. Now, I can see what the ed means and while I was editing the story, I thought I would have to go back and layer in some more emotional stuff. But lowering the emphasis on the sex is easy, it's the conflict that matters. At least I thought that was the most important part. And it wasn't the conflict it was rejected for.

Problem is, in this story my characters don't want an emotional connection and will fight it. So for them, sex IS all it's about initially. In fact, they're determined to think it's just physical for as long as possible. Perhaps it's that approach that makes it not suitable. Then again, I've read lots of other one night stand stories in MH where it's all about the physical initially, and it seems to work for others.

Sigh. Anyway, the ed told me to put it aside for a while and come back to it later so I guess it's not a complete waste of time. But I am going to email her and ask her for clarification on the issue.

Right at the moment though, I feel as if I have to write an absolutely perfect, no revisions necessary kind of partial to even warrant being asked for more. Which is beyond irritating when the last requested full had no conflict, lots of stereotypes, pacing issues and all sorts of other problems that this one didn't have.

Okay, so thanks for letting me vent. Funnily enough I'm not as gutted as I thought I'd be. I'm just frustrated as to what it is they want from me. Oh well, good thing I have sub number eight waiting to go. :-)

I Swear....

Was really hoping I'd at least get some sort of verdict before the NV competition starts but, well, whaddya know, still no verdict. I have to say I've kind of given up on this story. It's dragged on so long that I've already said goodbye to it in my mind. Oh, I'll be gutted if I get another rejection on a partial (though personally, if I do, I'll be really annoyed because I think the synopsis is the best I've ever done and there is a story worth looking at there) but maybe it will be for the best. I worked really hard on this, perhaps too hard. After so many rewrites and rejigs, perhaps the freshness is gone and it's better to let it go.

On the up side, I have decided to give myself some goals with all the unfinished stories, with the aim of finishing them so I can try my hand at something a bit different. So, lovely blog friends, I hereby solemnly swear, upon my honour, to God and the Queen, that I will finish my soldier story by the end of September. I will also endeavour to have a polished partial and synopsis of IT Girl, just in case I get a request from the NV competition. Because yes, I am throwing caution to the winds and will be entering. If nothing else, it'll at least feel like I'm doing something positive instead of just waiting around.

Okay, so those are my goals for this month and by putting them on the blog, I must achieve them or - sob - lose face. ;-)

What goals do other people have for the new month? Other than world domination and/or selling your first book for millions?

Bad Habits

September already and, hey, whaddya know, I STILL have had no word on my sub. First subbed the synopsis of this story in October last year so if I don't hear this month, it will mean a year's wait for a verdict on a partial. So all those of you who guessed dates for the Very Soon Sweepstake are all out except Susan - who guessed September the 12th. I suppose my update nearly two weeks ago was kind of a response but I think I'll hold out for a final answer. Whenever that will be.

So what else am I doing? Falling into bad habits actually. I'm a serial starter - fall in love with a new story, write like crazy, get to chapter 4/5 and then, when the going gets tough, I stop. It's weird. I know what the conflict is, I know how it should be resolved, I know what the characters need to learn and I know how they're going to change, so what's stopping me? It's the how all of the above happens, I think. They have that lovely first meeting, that first attraction, the acting (or not) on the attraction and the consequences of that, and then I sigh and stop and think 'so what do they do now?'. Either one of the characters has to do something in order to drive the story along. Something that is based on their conflict, that isn't external, and it's always this action that stumps me. Or at least, I have to go for a long walk or have a long shower to think about where to go from there. I tend to get overwhelmed by craft at this point, worrying about how I'm going to make it worse for him, and then how that will make him change, or what that teaches him about the heroine, etc, etc.

Which is why at this point the lure of the new story calls. I have five books all in various stages of 'done-ness' and I have not finished any of them. Definitely falling into bad habits again. Need to find some discipline from somewhere and finish at least one of them. There is probably the element of the VoD in here, telling me that they're all crap and none of them are worth working on. Stupid VoD.

Alright, so what do you guys reckon? Here are your choices: the soldier's story, the eco-warrior story (conflict STILL not sorted), my computer developer (actually she might be on hold), my geologist/reunion story, and lastly my new story which I'll call IT girl. My soldier is closest to being done with 27k on the clock. Any suggestions?

Extra special PS:
Maisey's second book, A Mistake, A Prince and a Pregnancy is out today! Big woots! Go read it, it's fab!

Very Soon Sweepstakes Update

The 'Very Soon' sweepstake is nearing the end of its first week and....sorry Janet who picked the 6th. No word for me this morning. :-( So, we'll be entering the second week on Monday so fingers crossed that one of you who picked this coming week will be right.

It's not the best week to be hearing to be honest. I leave for Sydney on Monday and I'm not sure I want to know while I'm on holiday/conference. Especially if I get an R. I kind of like to lick my wounds in private and I can see it putting a huge damper on my holiday. Wahhh, poor me. Dr Jax has promised to vet my email for me just in case and I will be complaining loudly and long to Rach and Janette (be warned guys!) so that helps too.

Anyway, I have no idea what the ed will actually say, but I have come to the conclusion that Modern Heat is one of the harder categories to break into. It's not a clear cut line like some of the others and I suspect, once the line changes to Riva and they see how its selling, the editorial direction may change. Not that I know or anything, just a suspicion. They have said they want 'different'. But what is 'different'? I think the New Voices comp is an indication that they themselves don't really know until they see it. They want public input from readers about people's chapters which I guess means that they want to see what kind of stories resonate with people and which won't. Scary huh?

Well, if there's one thing that I think matters with category as it is now, it's voice. There's not much in the way of originality in plotlines in romance but the way you CAN make it original is the way you write. And of course, including what the eds have recommended like new spins on old conflicts, 21st century issues, etc , etc. The trick is to do all that within the category guidelines. Who said writing category was easy again??

The iPad and NTAI

I did a little post about NTAI and the iPad on the Sisters' blog if you want to know about how I'm coping with my wait on the NES. And yes, still waiting. :-)

www.sevensassysisters.com

One Percent

Another slow news day in Jackie land. Or should I say another day of stressing out about the NES (Never Ending Story). I should be consoling myself with another WIP but that well seems to have dried up. I've hit the wall in other words. And as such, the question needs to be asked - how long do I keep going?

I haven't been submitting long (or at least, not long in this business) - over two years. I'm on my 6th submission, including 2 contest entries. I have lots of ideas still and lots of mss that need finishing. But I'm not sure how much emotional energy I have left. And that's the killer really. A nice analogy that I've heard from Dr Jax is what they say about anaesthetists - the job is 99% boredom, 1% sheer terror. That sums up for me quite nicely what happens with unpublished writers too. A large percentage of the time is waiting and then there's that horrible moment when you can see the email in your inbox - that's the 1% of sheer terror right there.

I've tried to explain that 1% to Dr Jax and he hasn't really understood. Until last night. He's a Dutch supporter for the World Cup and was stressing about the semi-final big time. And so I told him that that's how I feel EVERY morning I download my email. He said, "God, how you do stand it?" And you know what? I don't know how I stand it. Cause it's getting pretty boring feeling like that I can tell you.

I don't know what I'll do if this ms is rejected. I have another ready to go but at this stage, I'm not sure I have enough emotional reserves left to bear the sub process all over again. And this isn't just me I'm thinking about here either, this includes the family and friends and CPs who have to deal with me during this process. I'm not easy to say the least. Think the Incredible Hulk - you wouldn't like me when I'm waiting on a submission. :-)

Well, I always knew this was hard and maybe if I hadn't had all that early success, I may have been better equipped for the long haul. There's definitely something to be said for a slow building success. I started out with a blaze of glory, only to fizzle out. Which is when you start to question yourself and everything you do.

So what do you do when you hit the wall? What will be your limit? When will you say enough's enough? I always thought my answer will be never. But never is looking like an awfully long time right now.

The Never Ending Story

It would have been nice to start the weekend off with some news - but I don't have any news. Sigh. I guess me having to update the synopsis has put a spanner in the works. I was really, really hoping that it wouldn't but maybe the day she'd set aside for my partial was the day she didn't have the updated synopsis and so chapters 2 - 3 remain unread. Deeper sigh.

This story is something I really wondering if I'm doing myself any favours with. It all started back in October 2009 when I suggested I send the ed the synopsis for approval first. This was for a story I'd initially written (twice) in 2008. She agreed and so I spent a week trying to get it right. Rewrote the synopsis 6 times. Sent it in. Ed said 'back to the drawing board I'm afraid'. This is now November. She suggested I send her some character bios. So I did. December she said they looked good, could she now see the first three chapters and a synopsis. Happy me. I wrote them and sent them at the very beginning of January. Cue four months waiting. April, the ed suggested substantial rewriting. Big wahs from me. Then she suggested she look at my first chapter first. Slightly happier me. I rewrote the partial but after having had it critiqued, realised I'd done a crap job so I rewrote it again (5th time all up). Sent in my first chapter. Ed liked it! Very, very happy me. Send the other two, she said. So I did. Six weeks later she'll get back to me by the end of this week. Um, story is different now, says I. Would you like an updated synopsis? Yes, indeed, says the ed. Tears, tantrums, loud complaints of giving up, wailings and gnashings of teeth later, I rewrote the synopsis (number 7). Thumbs down after a critique. More wailings, tearings of hair, blood on the keyboard. Rewrite again (number 8) and sent it.

Silence.

So there you have it, the story of the of the Never Ending Story. Have I been an idiot for pushing this story so hard? Should I have told the ed to forget it in April and sent her something new? Will I even get to send the rest after nine months of it sitting at the partial stage? Am I, in fact, any good at writing at all or am I deluding myself that I can do this?

Sigh. I am pushing it I guess because I want to show them I can rewrite if necessary. Or maybe all I've shown them is what a huge mess I've made of it.

I guess the problem has been that I have a strong voice that needs to be reined in sometimes. And the other - I've finally figured out - is that I am trying to fit single title conflict into a category book. What I mean by that is that I overcomplicate by conflicts. They never just have one strand, they're always multi-faceted. Not good for a category length novel. I've also realised that the reason I give them complex conflict is that I feel that falling in love solving their problems makes it too simple. So I give them more problems. And so overcomplicate. Does that make sense?

Yeah, I know, these are love stories. Fantasies. Of course falling in love doesn't solve all their problems. At least, it may not solve all of them, just the main one you've given them at the beginning of the book. Ah well, at least I know now.

Alright, so seeing as I have no news on the Never Ending Story, does anyone have any good goss instead?