Jackie Ashenden and the Inbox of Doom

After nearly two weeks of waiting by the Inbox of Doom, nothing. I was kind of hoping not to post until I had news to relate but, sadly, I have no news to relate. No boulders falling from the sky. No snakes. No flaming arrows flying at my head. No jewels waiting on the head of a statue deep in the bowels of the temple...
Okay, enough Indiana Jonesing. I suppose the week isn't over yet so I shouldn't count my chickens but I'm still feeling like it won't be this week. Time in editorland passes differently to time out here in unpublished authorland. And justifiably so. Editors have many published authors to deal with as well as sifting through the slush. I, on the other hand, only have one ms to think about and lots of time to do it in. Four months certainly gives you a perspective on what you've done and I've learned quite a lot in the past four months. I would not have written the partial now like I did back in January. However, the main thing about this sub is that I still think the conflict holds up. Certainly didn't feel that way about my last submission. But my thoughts on the subject don't count. It's whether the ed feels the same that matters.

Anyway, until I hear there's nothing much else to do but write, write, write. It IS the best way to forget about a sub. In the four months of my wait I've already polished up another ms, written the first draft of a second and written the first chapers of mss number 3 and 4. So I should have a nice tidy stack of mss ready to go by the time I hear back.

Guess this means that should there be an R destined for me, I won't be giving up. Feel free to remind me of this the next time an R comes along...;-)

So, in the interests of NTAI, here's a situation for you: One love scene. One heroine. One catsuit. Boots. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get the heroine out of the catsuit without removing her boots. Discuss.

And when you've figured it out, let me know cos it's doing my head in. ;-)

A Miracle - The Non Sassy Heroine

Is this even possible in Modern Heat? Having a heroine who is not sassy? Is not quick with the comeback? Does not give the hero what-for at every given opportunity?

This, friends, is my conundrum. Having left the Frenchman to stew quietly in his own juices (don't go there) for a wee while, the time has come to revisit my nearly-there manuscript. The manuscript that might have been a winner if its author hadn't fell at the last hurdle and botched the revisions. Sigh. Anyway, the heroine in this manuscript is non-sassy. She is a stammerer. A stutterer. She's nervous, ungainly and finds herself completely out of her depth with the hero. So is she a Modern Heat heroine? Well, thing is, the eds liked her the first time round. They thought she was lovely. Which means the answer I'm hoping for is yes. Yes she is!

The problem with the ms the first time round was lack of believable conflict. This time round - now I have a much better idea about what I'm doing - I think I've got her conflict right. But she's still nervous and stammery. Still doesn't know what to say or what to do when she meets the hero. However the one thing she has got, that the hero needs, is honesty. She's unflinchingly, unfailingly honest. About herself and she certainly pulls no punches when it comes to being honest with him. Good thing too because the hero has been lying to himself for a long time and needs her honesty in order realise it.

In many ways, she is my favourite heroine. I think probably because she's the first one I actually connected with while I was writing it. She was so nervous, I really felt for her. And yet she wasn't scared to tell him what a coward he was being later on so she wasn't a doormat by any stretch. She was different - there are lots of sassys out there but not so many stammeries!

Anyway, I'm tossing up between my non-sassy software developer or my extremely sassy protester. Usually what I do is choose the one with the closest love scene - yes, I'm shallow like that. :-) In this instance, since both love scenes happen in the first few chapters (at least, that's my plot. Could change I guess) I'm spoilt for choice!

Has anyone else written a heroine who is a bit different? If so, how did you find it? Was it hard?

So What Do I Do Now?

Okay, so here I am, still waiting. No drama though. In many ways still waiting is good. Everything is still a possibility, nothing has been rejected. Yet. Groan. My only problem is feeling sick every morning as the Inbox of Doom fills up with emails.
Anyway, in order to help the NTAI along a little, I've been working on a couple of entries for a contest run by the RWNZ. It's a specifically category contest which is why I'm entering. Got my stories sorted bar some minor editing, just have the minor detail of the synopses to go. Did I mention how much I hate writing these? Yes? Well, I'm going to say it again mainly for venting purposes - I HATE synopses. Right. Will shut up about it now.
After these entries have been posted I then will have to think about which wip is the next wip. I'm leaving the Frenchman to simmer for a while before editing so in the meantime I shall have to press on with something else. And I think - seeing as how I've finally got the conflict sorted - it shall be Kate and Alex, my Feel the Heat entry. After so long, it's about time eh? And actually, quite looking forward to it since they're turning out to be one hot couple - I love it when they fight. ;-)

More on that anon, but first I need to annouce that I have been nominated for the 5-5-5 tag by the lovely Suzanne Jones. Thanks Suzanne! This is: 5 questions, 5 answers, 5 blogs to tag.
So here goes:

Question 1: Where were you five years ago?

1. I was a librarian in a university library.
2. Had only one child (not even thinking of number 2!).
3. Was trying and failing to write the great New Zealand novel because I was too busy writing romance stories instead. ;-)
4. Thought that internal conflict was something you got after eating too much chocolate.
5. Never dreamed I'd even get close to getting published.

Question 2: What is (was) on your to do list today?

1. Finish my competition synopses - fail.
2. Put away my supermarket shopping - fail.
3. Clean up my bedroom - fail.
4. Tidy my study - fail.
5. Get totally involved with my new wip to the detriment of everything else - success!

Question 3: What five snacks do you enjoy?

1. Coffee. Yes, it does count as a snack!
2. Dark chocolate.
3. Pretzels.
4. Cheese.
5. Chocolate martinis. What? They also count as a snack. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Question 4: What five places have you lived in?

1. Wellington.
2. Auckland.
3. Chiswick (London).
4. Golders Green (London).
5. Romancelandia (where I still live in my head).

Question 5: What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?

1. Seduce my virgin secretary.
2. Keep a string of racehorses/polo ponies.
3. Buy vast mansions in London, Paris and New York.
4. Make secretive large charitable donations.
5. Claw my way up from a poverty stricken background, make shed-loads of money on the stock exchange and finally wreck my terrible revenge on those who wronged me.

Nominating 5 bloggers: Argh, I always hate this part. All the blogs I check out are cool but CPs get first dibs.

Rachel Johns

Janette Radevski

Lorraine Wilson

Maisey Yates

Jane Mulberry

Hi, My Name's Jackie and I am a Writerholic

Just got back from an Easter break and am feeling very writing deprived. Apparently it's good to have a rest but I tell you five days without writing anything feels like torture to me. Luckily I wasn't in the middle of a wip otherwise it would have been hell. Still, the one good thing about being away is that there was lots of opportunity for thinking time.

I'm currently writing a synopsis for a competition entry and it's giving me gyp. Of course, synopses are the devil's own work and this was annoying me in particular because it's a rewritten version of my Feel the Heat story. Now rewriting previously rejected stories is HORRIBLE. Especially when they only have a passing acquaintance with conflict. Actually, scrub that, this story wouldn't have known conflict if it leapt up and bit said story on the backside. Hence the complete rewrite. In fact, nothing remains of the original apart from the character names, the hero's profession and that there is a protest involved. The rest of it has been totally done-over. Sounds good right? Well, it would be if I could get the conflict sorted. For nearly a year and a half I've been trying to get the conflict on this story okay. Yep, that's right, a year and a half. You'd think it would be easy. Nope. Problem has been not knowing what the hey I'm doing. I mean, here's the thing, you've got to make each character the worst possible person for their counterpart, and yet the best. They each have to learn something from the other which means they both have to lack something that the other has. But they both have to have qualities that the other admires and yet also something that keeps them apart.

Think I've mentioned jigsaw puzzles haven't I?

Groan. Anyway, think the last part of the puzzle slotted in over the weekend. Bout bloody time. Now, the reason it's taken me so long is that I never really had a good enough idea about what I was doing with conflict until now. Of course, the editor could disagree with that but at least it's more right than it's ever been (famous last words!). And the answer - as it was in the beginning - is in the characters. Their lives up until this point, the kind of people they are, what they admire, what they dislike, what they're secretly afraid of, and what they're currently doing in order to mask this secret fear. I think I've done it and then I realise that I've neglected to ask myself what my heroine's relationship with her mother was, or how she viewed her father or her siblings or whatever.

I have to say, the friends we went on holiday with were rather puzzled by my conversations with Dr Jax. "You know Kate? What's she afraid of?" I would ask him as we were walking along the beach. Or, "Remember Kate? I need her to do something that teaches him this thing but I don't know what she does," as we were in the middle of a card game. Or "I think I'm getting rid of the baby. It doesn't add anything," as we were watching one of the kids having a tantrum. ;-)

Yes, even on holiday I do not have a holiday from writing. One of my friends asked me how many hours I put into this 'job' and I couldn't put a number on it. Suffice to say that if I was actually paid for every hour that I put into it, then I'd be rich!

Anyway, now I have my conflict sorted, I can write my synopsis and send away my competition entry. Woohoo. In the meantime I am reading Mira Lynn Kelly's debut Modern Heat and loving it. Gosh those Modern Heat gals are good eh? Tough acts to follow. WTG and congrats on yor release Mira!

The Importance of Being Nervous

Why am I nervous? Because I've heard from the editor that I've been working with and she's told me that she should be getting to my partial in the next couple of weeks. Argh!!! And I've gone from impatient waiting to nervous twitching instead. Perhaps it's nicer not knowing. Because when you don't know, you can entertain all kinds of wonderful thoughts such as they love it so much they want your full manuscript instantly. Or that they offer you a fifty book contract on the spot. Or just that they like it but they want you to change a few things. I'd be happy with anything that isn't a flat-out no at this stage. :-)

The problem is that I've learned heaps in the past six months. Especially the past three. Which means that the partial I sent three months ago is probably not the partial I would send now. Sigh. But hindsight is a wonderful thing. I 'think' the conflict is okay - certainly the character biographies I sent through were approved of - so that should help, but ultimately you never know until the editor gives you the magic yes. I still like my partial, I still think it was good. There are things I would change now but that's just to do with pace. In spite of all of that, I may get the flat-out no. And in which case - here's the important thing - I do have another manuscript ready to go. I'm not giving up until I get the 'please do not submit to us again' letter*.

No retreat, no surrender right?

*Note: There is no such letter (that I know of). :-)

Headache or Plot Device?

Finished my Frenchman. Yes, it was fast but I'm realising that writing the first draft really quickly is kind of my process. I have to get it down ASAP because if I don't, I lose interest and never finish it. And since finishing is a weak point of mine, it's something I really have to work at and be disciplined about. Anyway, I'm already thinking that I'm going to have to change the middle of it. Why? Well, some explanation is required.

My hero, in the beginning, has a migraine that affects his vision (yes, apparently this is rather girly but hey, I can change it if I need to). Cue practical, efficient heroine who takes charge of him while he's extremely helpless. This ties nicely into his conflict of hating to be helpless, while at the same time, showcasing the heroine's trustworthy nature. Okay, this may have a whiff of the plot device about it but I'm keeping it for the beginning for the meantime (external conflict brings them together right?). However the whiff does get a tad stronger later on because he has another one - this one is different because he willingly places himself in the heroine's care for the first time, thereby demonstrating his growing trust in her and also having this trust repaid. But, I've already used this situation in the beginning so is using it again overkill? I didn't want him to have one migraine and then it never be an issue again (definitely a plot device!) and yet I didn't want to keep going back over the same ground. My gut feeling, though, is that yes, it's overkill. Not to mention the fact that it makes the whiff of plot device rather more stench-like.

The problem is that MH (and a lot of the other M&B lines) are character driven. I never really got a good idea about what this means until recently but now I do, I can see why my migraine thing may be just a plot device. Character driven means the character drives the story through the decisions and actions that they take. They don't stand there and have things happen to them. Hence my problem with a migraine. A migraine happens to someone, someone doesn't happen to a migraine. So really, if I want to showcase my hero's developing trust in the heroine, what should be happening is that a decision he makes places him in a situation where he has to trust the heroine rather than have the situation happen to him. But this is the difficult part for me - thinking of the situation! Because as a billionaire who hates losing control, why would he make a decision that places him in a situation where he has none? The answer probably will lie with the heroine and the chain of action and reaction that happens in the book. Somewhere along the line, she'll do something and his reaction will be to place his trust in her. In fact, I have an idea right now as I'm typing this....

What do you guys reckon? Is a headache just a headache or is it plot device? ;-)

The Trouble with Endings

Is that I find them hard to write. I think I may have mentioned before how hard I find them. Which is possibly why, until I started writing romance and seriously trying to get published, I never finished any of the stories I used to start.

I'm not sure what it is about them that I find difficult. Before I really got into learning the technical aspects of writing romance, I used to find that the problem was the cheesiness of them. The obligatory here's-why-I-was-so-horrible-to-you explanations. But now that I know a little more about what I'm doing, it's even worse than that just the cheesiness: it's the tying up of the conflict.

Has each character completed their journey? Have they learned enough from each other in order to take that last step and overcome their conflict? Have I tied up any loose ends? Have I introduced something I shouldn't? Argh! Several people have commented in the last couple of blog posts that the more you know, the harder it gets and you know what? They're right! Before I knew any of this it was 'I love you'. 'I love you too'. Kiss. The End.
Not any more.

The reason for the angst is that I'm nearing the end of the Frenchman. Got the Black Moment then the resolution to go. I know how it's going to play out, but I've got bogged down yet again. I think - as usual - it's because one of them needs to act and I'm not quite sure what that action is yet. It'll be something to do with their conflict that will precipitate the black moment but I'm still feeling my way a little here. Ah well, I always have this problem during a first draft. I'll go like the clappers for a while and then come to a shuddering halt. But no doubt I'll figure out what one of them needs to do and then I'll be off again and I'll find write the end of the wretched thing. And you know what? Just writing this blog post has given me an idea... The Frenchman likes to be in control so what does he do when he feels a situation is sliding out of his control? He likes to get it back!

On that happy note, anyone else find endings difficult to write? Please don't say I'm the only one!

The Rudeness of the Frenchman

I'm not talking about Frenchmen in general, just about my particular Frenchman. And his problem with rudeness. Because sadly, in the first chapter he is not at his best and is quite rude to the heroine. Now some people who have met him had no problems with his rudeness and yet others found it difficult. So what's a girl to do?

He is rude for a reason, naturally. The heroine meets him when he is in considerable pain. For an alpha male who is the leader of a huge corporation, a man for whom control over any situation is vital to him, having some stranger see him when he is in helpless and in pain is kind of his worst nightmare. Especially when she tries to help him. So yeah, he's rude. He doesn't want her help. He just wants to be left alone. Unfortunately though, this makes him unsympathetic to some people. I've tried to make him less rude but he won't have a bar of it. He hates the situation he's in and makes no bones about it.

So what to do? I do have his POV a bit later in the chapter so you get a glimspe about why he's so rude and I think I can make it clearer but maybe it's too late by then. Certainly by chapter 2, he's feeling very guilty at his lapse in manners but again, perhaps it's too little too late?

But you know, I don't think I can pull back his behaviour. I like him being helpless. He needs to be too because part of his journey is learning he can trust the heroine - and how better to do that have her rescue him when he needs help? It's just that he really doesn't like it, especially because he's not in control of the situation.

Sigh. What do you reckon? Shall I take a whip to him and make him a bit nicer? That's if I can. You ever tell an alpha male what he should or shouldn't do?

Don't Just Stand There - Do Something!

Yes, problems with the Frenchman yet again. Honestly, I don't know what it is about this ms that's causing me so much grief! That man needs - in the immortal words of my paternal grandfather - a good whipping with barbed wire. Anyway, so after rewriting the first chapter five times, I then had a problem with chapter 3. It was like wading through quicksand. And I couldn't figure out why. Luckily Dr Jax, back from his conference in Acapulco, was on hand to assist. He probably was hoping I'd leave talking about writing for at least the first hour after he'd got back in the door but he was sadly mistaken....

To cut an extremely long story short, after discussion (AKA me moaning for a good long time about how it wasn't working), we finally figured out what wasn't working. My characters were standing around talking. That's it. There wasn't anything inherently wrong with the talking - it's all conflict - it's just that there was no action. No one was driving the story forward. No wonder it felt static and like nothing was happening!

I have to admit that this is a problem with my stories. I love dialogue so much that I tend to get carried away with it and have times where all my characters do is witter on to each other. I think I'm better than I used to be - I used to think that standing around talking about stuff was an action that a character takes - and hey, I did recognise that there was something not working about that chapter. It also made me realise that I had the same issue in a chapter in another story that also didn't feel right. Which is progress right?

So, instead of talking about stuff, I am going to get my hero to cease his jabbering and take some action. My heroine is a PA so what does a hero do with a PA? (mind out of the gutter please or off the desk, whichever takes your fancy) He gives her a job to do. Preferably one that she will NOT enjoy doing... ;-)

Anyone else have times when writing a scene is like quicksand? What do you do about it?

The Perils of First Chapters

Honestly, you wouldn't believe the trouble I'm having with the first chapter of the Frenchman. Having planned out the conflict and a good idea about how I was going to start, I then somehow lost my mojo.

My problem is that I actually wrote three chapters of this last year, way back before I had a good idea about any of the stuff I know now about conflict and character etc. And I really liked those three chapters. Yes, they were gimmicky and I made my characters do things without thinking through their motivation, but I still really liked them. Being good, I thought I'd can them and start the story off afresh, with a new beginning that was less gimmicky and based more on the characters themselves. But you know what? After writing it first from her POV and then from his, it just didn't work for me. It felt stilted and not particularly dynamic. And this was a pain because I find that if I can't get my first chapter to work well enough, I can't write the rest of it! Now I can write ahead, though I don't normally, but the first chapter is the scene setter. It's the first glimpse of the h&h too and if it's not right, then this has a flow on effect for me and writing the rest feels like pulling teeth.

So, anyway, after three failed attempts at a new beginning. I went back to my old one to see if I could tweak it so it was less gimmicky. But still I had problems with it. Finally I thought about changing the setting to see if that helped and at last - draft 5! - I think I've got it the way I want. For now. Maybe I'll change it after I've written the rest of the story but at least it's done enough for me to feel comfortable with writing on.

Why did I want the gimmicky beginning? Basically because it taps directly into the hero's conflict. It features the hero in a situation where he has no control and the heroine having it instead. The previous drafts didn't have a situation that made it difficult for either of them. And if it's not difficult for the characters then there's no tension. And I wanted that tension.

So how about the rest of you? Do you find first chapters difficult? Or is it just me?? :-)

Vent of the Month Plus the Adventures of Hoo the Incredible Blue Octopus

I'm trying to get into writing my Naughty Frenchman but I have to say, I'm having a 'what's the point' week. The waiting is killing me - it always does - and even though I have lots of stories in the works, I'm feeling a bit directionless. I always get a bit like this as things drag on - usually just after submitting I'm fine for a few weeks and then doubts etc start to kick in. Targetting only one line does mean that you can't do anything else but write while you're waiting, and yes, writing IS the thing to do, but I can't help feeling that while it drags on I'm kind of standing still.

At my last RWNZ meeting, people asked me how I was getting on and one person said to me, 'oh, but you're nearly there aren't you?'. Thing is, I've been 'nearly there' for a whole year now. And in fact, there is no such thing as 'nearly there'. You're either there or you're not. As the lovely Karina Bliss told me, it's like being pregnant. You can't be nearly pregnant, you either are or you're not. I'm not.

It does not help that Dr Jax is currently gallivanting around Acapulco at a conference while I am at home with the kids. Not that I mind the kids (most of the time), it's just that I'd rather be the one at Acapulco! Unfortunately my place with Dr Jax has been usurped by a small, blue, stuffed octopus called Hoo. My daughter gave him the toy to keep him company and so far, the wretched thing has seen way more of Acapulco than it has any right to. Witness these pictures.

So, while my husband and a tiny blue octopus are having fun in sunny Acapulco, I shall while away the time trying to write Chapter 1 of the Frenchman for the fifth time (yes, it's taking me that long to get it right! Grrr).

Oh yes, and NTAI.

Anyone else finding the NTAI hard at the moment?

Building a Heroine (and An Award)

I've been putting this off because quite frankly, heroines are not my strong point. I prefer heroes because, well, to be honest, I'm way more interested in him than I am in her. And possibly also because I'm just not very good at writing a decent heroine. I think the only one of mine that I really liked was the geeky heroine in my sadly rejected full. She was lovely. Vulnerable, sweet, but terribly, terribly stubborn. Told the hero he was just a big, fat dirty coward. Loved her. She'll get her HEA one day but today I'm building my good old Kiwi girl to complement my naughty Frenchman...

Okay, so, my hero wants control in his relationships. He wants this because control quells the fear he has of being abandoned. So in order to really up the tension in this story, I need to give the heroine something that will really conflict with his need for control. And I'm going for independence here. So my heroine believes that independence or self reliance in her relationships is the key to fighting her fear of having love used to control her (backstory alert!). Having love used to control her made her feel she wasn't important and that her feelings didn't matter so she definitely wants to avoid this. Yay. Now I have two completely opposite motivations and secret fears here which is great because that's how I'll get the greatest tension in the story.

Of course,my problem now is that if the heroine doesn't want to be controlled, why would she fall for a hero who wants to control things? So I'll have to give the hero some qualities that she will admire. These qualities will probably be related to her backstory. Perhaps in her past men have been unreliable and let her down, in which case she will admire trustworthyness and reliability. So I'll make him reliable and trustworthy. Since she values these attributes, she'll endeavour to make sure she herself is trustworthy too - thereby making her more attractive to the hero because, as you remember, if he thinks she's trustworthy, she'll be less likely to abandon him.

Right, so I have some conflict and motivation for the heroine. I've got some things for her to admire in the hero. So now I can build her backstory. If she wants independence then perhaps she runs her own company, likes to do things herself. Perhaps she's also practical and down to earth, good traits when it comes to pricking the arrogance-bubble the hero surrounds himself in. She will also need a spine of steel in order to stand up to the hero's demands. But that's okay because as her motivation is independence, that's totally in keeping with her character - she's not going to let anyone control her so she will fight him as and when required...
Hey, think I'm getting there. Not a stereotype in sight. And now I've got her most basic conflict straight, she'll act like she's supposed to and I won't have to give her extreme character traits to make her do what I want!

At least that's the plan.

Right, on with the award. I've been nominated for a Happy Cupcake Award! Thanks to Maya, Lacey, and Kerrin! This requires me to list 10 things that make me happy. So here they are, in no particular order:

1. Dr Jax.
2. My girls.
3. Kohu Road Dark Chocolate icecream.
4. Writing.
5. My latest hero.
6. A nice vodka martini.
7. All my lovely blog friends (shameless flattery, yes, I know).
8. A good book.
9. My iPhone.
10. Great Uncle Visa. ;-)

Now I should nominate 10 bloggers who also make me happy but since all of you already have been nominated and you all make me happy, I shall extend the award to anyone who missed out! Enjoy the cupcakes everyone!

Oh and how is everyone else's heroines getting on? Ready to shoot them yet?? ;-)

Building a Hero

I've decided I really like my new hero. Not that I didn't before, I just like him even more now I know where he's coming from. In my last post I mentioned I was going to try sorting out the conflicts first for a change, then build the characters around that, and then - lastly - figure out a plot. This is a big thing for me. Normally I get an idea for a opening scene and start writing immediately, finding out about my characters as I go along. Now this may work for some people, but it appears this method does not work for me. And I have the Rs to prove it!

Anyway, to avoid the horrible 60 million jigsaw piece scenario, I figured out the hero first, starting with his internal conflict. The way I like to think about good old IC is to think about a person's most basic fear. And then what the character does in order to fight that fear. My hero is afraid of being abandoned because it makes him feel unloved. So what does he do in order to fight that fear? He makes sure that no one leaves him. How does he do that? By being in control in his relationships. Remaining in control is his main motivation throughout the story and it's this need that will lie at the heart of all the actions and decisions he makes. It will also be part of the lesson he needs to learn - in order to have a healthy relationship with the heroine, he needs to learn to give up that control and get over his fear of abandonment.

Now I've figured out his fear and his motivation, I can build up the backstory. Such as why he has a fear of abandonment. How the need for control has worked throughout his life. How it has affected his previous relationships. Working out this conflict and how it has shaped my hero can also give me clues as to what qualities he admires in other people (heroine alert!). Qualities like loyalty (people who are loyal don't leave), dependability (people who are dependable are less likely to leave), tenaciousness (again, makes people less likely to give up or leave!). And also qualities that he may not like in other people (again, heroine alert!).

Of course, I'd like to say that his IC was all worked out first and then I got the idea for making him a French aristocrat but I can't kick my old habits and the whole French thing kind of developed alongside the rest of it. I think the important thing though is that the fact that he is descended from French aristocrats and is the head of a huge luxury goods company adds colour and maybe a few traits but it doesn't really have any bearing on his most basic conflict. So why did I make him French and head of a huge company? Well, I've never written a non-English character so I thought I'd make him French since I like the accent. :-) Plus if he's wealthy then I can add French Chateaus etc for the fantasy factor. The aristocracy bit and the head of the company will add to his alphaness naturally. Of course now he's sounding less Modern Heat and more Modern! Argh!

Anyway, I now have one piece of the jigsaw sorted. The next thing I have to do is build my old arch-nemesis: the heroine. I can hear her evil laugh already...

Oh, that's right, I was going to ask about nationalities. What's your favourite when it comes to heroes?

New Story Love

So I'm in the middle of editing my next sub but since it's pretty much written, I thought I'd spare a few thoughts for the sub after that - never hurts to think ahead and it's great for the NTAI, right?
Now, I have two stories I am planning to rewrite. One is my Feel the Heat entry made new and shiny, and the other is my sadly rejected 'nearly there' ms. Both, I feel, could be made to work, but y'know, comes a time when writing a new story is a good idea. Even just to remind myself that I can!

So yesterday and today, I have been brainstorming something new. It's been one that I've had for a while now and yeah, okay, I admit that I've got a synopsis for it and I may have even written one chapter, but from yesterday it's technically brand new. Why? Because for the first time before beginning something, I actually sat down and worked out what the conflicts were, who my characters were before I started writing. This is a big step for me. I'm usually so impatient to get started that I jump right in. But not this time. And quite frankly it was bloody hard. The crit group luckily came to my aid, but boy, working out this stuff first is nasty.

Firstly I needed to figure out the conflict. I already had an idea for my hero so I started with my initial idea of who he was, except this time, I tried to think of the conflict before anything else. What is he afraid of? What does he want out of life? What does he do now that won't work for him when he meets the heroine? What is it about him that will prevent him from being with her as soon as he meets her? And then, once I'd decided on him and his motivations, I had to figure out a perfect heroine for him. The easiest way was to make her conflict the opposite of his. Great first step, but then how does her conflict tie into his? And if he's so wrong for her, what about him makes him so right?
It was like putting together an extremely complicated jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes the pieces fit and sometimes, no matter how much you turn them, they just won't. It's frustrating. You'll try every single piece but nothing works, and then suddenly, completely by chance, you'll pick one up and it just slots into place. And you'll wonder 'how on earth did I miss that?' Of course, I haven't got to really know my characters yet and I won't until I start writing, but - to use the jigsaw analogy again - I've got the edge pieces in place. The border is all done, it's now up to me to fill in the rest of the picture.

I'm hoping to avoid all the mistakes I've made in the past so I'm going to put the basic conflict at the top of the ms. With any luck this will stop me trying to make it more complicated and also so I remember what's driving every scene. Should give me some ideas about how to make sure it gets worse for the characters with every scene too. Did I say how much I love torturing them? Oh yes, I do!

Anyway, this story I'm trying for something a little different. My hero is aristocratic and more Modern in his success than Modern Heat (think rich, rich, rich!). He's also French, and apparently Frenchmen don't sell as well as Greeks. Thought I'd give it a go anyway, and hey, at least I know by now not to make the whole story rest on his being French or even being hugely successful. The heart is the conflict and the rest is just window dressing that can be changed if needed.

So anyone else starting something new? How do you tackle it?

For the Love of Editing

I love editing. There, I've said. I love editing and I don't care who knows it. I love fiddling around with scenes and layering in little bits here and there, or even cutting out a scene that didn't work and rewriting it. In fact, in many ways, getting that first draft down for me is the hardest part. Once it's down, at least the bare bones are there and I can fiddle.

Maybe this goes back to being the kid who spent more time drawing little borders around her school work than actually doing the work. Or happily playing around with designing pamphlets when I used to work in the library (as opposed to actually writing the content). Yep, there was something satisfying in fiddling with stuff.

Anyway, I've finally finished the rewrite of a story I wrote during Nano the year before last and am now having fun with editing it. I loved the story - especially the idea and I loved the hero. But sadly when I wrote it, I was still getting the hang of conflict and so the characters...well....they didn't have any. However, I've learned a lot in the past six months and now I think I have the story to where I want it to be. As in there is actual conflict in there!
Of course because of having actual conflict, I had to change large parts of the story completely. I think in all there were three chapters I kept, plus a few minor plot points and then the rest I rewrote entirely from scratch. This will be my next sub so I hope it works. Of course, the only person who can say for certain that it does work is the editor and as I'm still waiting on news of my partial, I won't be getting any feedback for this story any time soon. Ah well, in the meantime I'll have fun with my editing and then perhaps think about which story I'll concentrate on next. After all, the best thing to do while waiting is more writing right?

So, how do you find editing? Do you spend your time drawing pretty borders around your work or do you hate that bit? ;-)

Being Too Self Aware About Self Awareness

I have done a post about this before, I realise, but I think it's worth posting about again since I know a little bit more about it than I did before. And also I have finally finished the major rewrite of my next potential sub and self awareness was a particular bugbear in that one, as it has been in all my mss to be honest.

You see, when I was a little baby writer, I used to get really annoyed with characters that seemed wholly blind to their problems. So my characters would always know what their problems were. Most of the time, they knew and still acted like idiots (my heroes here) because they were so tortured and well, just generally angsty. This was before I knew about conflict, about action, about pace, about anything really! I know a lot more about that stuff now so it came as a bit of a surprise to me that, as a big grown-up writer, I was still making my characters too self aware.

So, what is all this self awareness stuff? It's being aware of your feelings and the reasons for them basically. For example, my hero wants to succeed in his business. It's his goal. If pushed, he might admit that his drive to succeed is based on leaving behind a troubled youth. But what he wouldn't admit to is that his drive to succeed is based on a fear that he's really no good because his father walked out on him when he was young. He wouldn't admit to it because he doesn't actually know that at the beginning of the book. Unless you're me of course, who did actually make him know that in the first chapter! The problem with this is that if they know their fears right at the beginning there wouldn't be any sense of discovery about the character. Plus the fact that if they know their problems right at the beginning, why don't they do something about them right then and there? And you also lose any emotional impact because there is no slow revelation or sudden insight by the character about their behaviour.

Anyway, the upshot of this is that I have to learn to pull back on the awareness. I found myself getting into trouble with this rewrite because of that and it meant because I had made my hero too self aware too early, I had to give him another problem so he would still grow and change. Which meant I complicated the conflict. Remember the KISS principle? Keep It Simple Stupid.

Now, all this might sound as though I'm making my characters do stuff instead of being guided by them. That may be true but I don't think I'm doing it this time. If I think about it, my character is an alpha male who wants to prove himself. Admitting he's scared of not being good enough would be something he would never admit to. So making him aware of this fear too early on IS making him do something he doesn't want to do.

All this stuff about self awareness is making me appreciate the layers of the onion metaphor that Kate Walker talks about. I knew what she meant, but I never really saw it in my own work until now.

So, what does everyone else think about this? Are your characters too self aware like mine? Or are they appropriately dense? :-)

Niceness for Valentine's Day

Here on the right we have a lovely Russian icon type picture of Saint Valentine. Why? Because obviously it's that day that all romance writers like - Valentine's Day! Now, the reasons a day celebrating love is associated with an old Roman saint are a little unclear (at least according to that well known and totally truthful source, Wikipedia), I am nevertheless happy that due to this ancient tradition, I am now the owner of some absolutely divine chocolates. There is a French chocolatier up the road, who uses Valrhona chocolate to make some of the best chocolate in Auckland (nay, New Zealand itself!) and guess who gave them to me?
No, not my secret fancy man. It's the dear Dr Jax, who looked very surprised when I wished him happy Valentine's this morning. He's on call today you see and I thought he'd forgotten. Well, he had. But he had not forgotten the day before when he'd bought my little pressie. Yes, I am spoiled. I even got two Valentine's cards from my lovely girls (and no, they will not be sharing my chocolate). And what's more, I am going to celebrate by totally torturing my hero with the fact that he is falling in love and he so does not want to. Mwwwwahahahah.

Now, I don't use celebrities to cast my characters cause I find the real person gets in the way of the fictional one, but I do like a bit of eye candy now and then. So here on the left, as a little Valentine's Day present to myself (and to those of you who like him too!) is Josh Holloway from Lost, doing his bit for Davidoff. I'm writing a bad boy at the moment and you can't get a more charming bad boy alpha than Sawyer. Mmmm.... Nicer than a Russian icon in my opinion...


So what about you guys? Was your Valentine's romantic?

What Would An Alpha Male Do?

So Dr Jax had a significant birthday this week and I took the liberty of booking us a room at Auckland's Hilton hotel for the night. I'll just say this now - it was for his birthday but, obsessive writer that I am, it was also research since the characters of my current WIP also visit said hotel. It was a gorgeous room with views across the harbour (when not blocked by the vast cruise ships that moor alongside the hotel), perfect for my characters - though I think I'll make the room a LOT bigger. A suite maybe. And yes, I took pictures of both the room and the view to help with scene setting. Like I said, research.

We had dinner at the very swanky restaurant and - here's another example of just how obsessive I am when it comes to writing - had an unfortunately hilarious moment when the waiter spilled a glass of Moet all over me. And I mean, ALL over me. The poor man was showering me with napkins (after showering me with champagne) and fussing round while I dried my hair with a fourth napkin, all the while thinking, 'I wonder if I could work this into a book?'. The whole restaurant was gawking at me but all I could think about was writing! And then, when I told Dr Jax that I was thinking about how I could use this in a scene, he asked 'so what would an alpha male do in this situation?'. And instantly I was thinking constructing a new story...

So, thank you clumsy waiter at White restaurant. Your waiting skills leave a lot to be desired but at least you've given me an opening scene for a new book. Heroine gets expensive champagne spilled on her in a swanky, upmarket hotel restaurant. She's utterly soaked, horribly embarassed, and along comes the hero and....??

What do you reckon? What would an alpha male do?

What To Think About When You're Not Thinking About It

Okay, so the NTAI ain't going so well. Ridiculous since it's only been five weeks since I submitted the thing but there you go. So, what does one do when one is trying to Not Think About It?
I usually write. I write like the dickens. There is something about totally losing yourself in a new story and when I do, I forget all about my sub and everything else (including the little things like feeding the kids and making sure they haven't killed each other).

This is not a problem but I have been thinking about whether I should branch out and try something else. Try writing for a different category. That way I can have more subs out there (and true, more to NTAI!). There are downsides to this, mainly if you do get something accepted, the eds will want to establish you in one line rather than have your name associated with a couple and perhaps getting readers confused. Also, the requirements for the different lines are quite different and it's as well to concentrate on mastering one line first.

However, my problem is that I write really fast. If everything is worked out beforehand, I can write a first draft in two weeks. This is a good thing because while waiting, I can churn out a couple of mss to have at the ready in case of rejection. However, if I've done that and it turns out I have six month wait before hearing back, maybe I should be using the time to try writing and querying something else?

I'm still undecided. Modern Heat is where I want to be first and foremost, and my main focus is on that. But it would be nice to be waiting on more than one sub...

Whaddya reckon?

We Shall Fight

We shall fight on the beaches,
We shall fight on the landing grounds,
We shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
We shall fight in the hills;
We shall never surrender.

Thanks Winston. So why am I fighting? Well, my last post was grade A whine material. Now, I was going to apologise for that but I figure part of waiting - for me at least - involves a minor vent and/or whine every now and then, and that was my whine for January. I'll be allowed one for Febuary but I'll give myself a bit of time to build up to it. ;-)

Anyway, the fighting speech is mainly due to a lovely comment Natalie Anderson left on my blog in response to said whine. In fact all of you who read my monotonous musings left great comments, for which I think you very much, but it was Natalie's that really got to me. 'You're a fighter' she said. Thanks for the reminder, Natalie! Because you're right. I am a fighter. I don't like letting things alone or letting things go. I hate stuff getting the better of me. Especially stuff I'm good at! And if there's one thing I have learned over the Year of the R (2009) is that I can write.

So, forwith the Battle Plan:

1. Strategically attack and conquer Laurie Schnebly Campbell's Plotting for Motivation course this month.
2. Decimate current WIP by finishing the rewrite and then beat into submission the partial.
3. Cunningly deploy my forces to surround the current crop of new story ideas, winnow the wheat from the chaff, sort out the men from the boys, and decide which WIP shall be the new WIP.
4. Sack and burn the city of TAI, sowing the conquered ground with salt so that NOTHING shall grow. Build new city called NTAI of which I shall be the supreme ruler.
5. Eat more Kohu Road dark chocolate icecream.
6. Storm Kohu Road icecream company, secure ALL their stocks of dark chocolate icecream and enforce martial law whereby they will have to make dark chocolate icecream for me alone.
7. Send out spies for a reconnaissance mission to the London offices of Mills and Boon.
8. Lay out honey traps using Kohu Road dark chocolate icecream.
9. Wait for the editors to fall for said honey traps and the watch the contracts to roll in.
10. Become supreme ruler of the world.

Okay, so there's a bit of a jump between numbers 9 and 10 but it's doable, right?

:-)

Riding the Rollercoaster

Hmmm, despite my happy 'I love rejections' post, the crows of doubt have come to roost again. Par for the course. No surprises there. To be honest, the constant ups and downs are very tiring. It does tend to be my personality (hello! Gemini!) but I have been kind of thinking, 'do I need stress like this in my life?'. At the very beginning of the year I did tell my husband that I wished I'd never started submitting. That the whole rollercoaster ride was getting a bit much for me.

Then again, I guess that's the hazard when you go after your dreams. It's going to be tough and disappointing, and you will wonder why on earth you thought it was a good idea. Especially when your goal is just as far off as it ever was.

Anyway, this is not a play for sympathy or anything, just a little vent. Sunday morning musings. I am trying to resist the urge to reread my partial, just to make sure I'm as happy with it now as I was when I sent it off but that way lies madness. I have finished the full and the basic conflict seemed to hang together okay which is a good sign but you just never know.

Oh well, will stop moaning. How's everyone else doing? What do you do when the rollercoaster gets too much for you?

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Rejections

No, I haven't had my partial rejected. I really, really hope it won't be but nothing is ever certain when it comes to publishing. However, if it does get the big ole R, I hope people will remind me of this post because I'm currently trying to get my head around loving my rejections.
This is something I do when the wait is getting to me and I'm feeling down about my writing, and wishing I'd known more with the manuscript that was so nearly there but didn't end up making it.

Why? Surely there's nothing happy making about a rejection? Actually, the first rejection I got was happy making and started me on the road to taking my writing seriously. It was from the Instant Seduction Contest and the wonderful editor told me I had potential, that my voice was Modern Heat, and that though they didn't want to see any more of my contest entry (just as well since I hadn't written it), they'd be happy to look at anything else I had. Well, I was over the moon! Yes, I had potential! I expected to hear nothing at all from this contest and I was so thrilled. So off I sent my next partial.

Along come rejection number 2. I was unsurprised since I'd already by that time (having actually read some Modern Heats!) figured out it wasn't a goer. But still, they told me what was wrong with it and they wanted more. So off I sent another partial, while at the same time, entering the Feel the Heat contest. This was where things got serious. I got more feedback from FTH. I began to learn about internal conflict. Still hadn't got it though, my entry was rejected (rejection number 3). But they saw potential in the other partial that I'd send before the contest. I was asked for the full.

So I sent away my first full and back it came with revisions. My heroine needed conflict. I was learning, but I struggled with that. It was so hard. I hadn't learned that rewriting needed to be done, that adding conflict would change the character, that once you change the character, the plot might change too. And proper conflict still eluded me. I still didn't understand. I got a second lot of revisions but the conflict jigsaw still wasn't complete. I still didn't get it.

Rejection number 4 was very hard. The ms was so nearly there but I didn't have the knowledge I needed to make it work and the editors knew it. But now I could see why it hadn't worked. It was becoming clearer. Thinking I had it, I dived into another partial. Yes, surely I had the conflict now. But I was still thinking of the conflict as a thing separate from my characters. I wasn't looking at my characters as whole people, just as receptacles for the conflict I'd thought up.

So back came rejection number 5. Even harder than rejection number 4 in many ways. But the one thing about it was that finally I was beginning to see my problem. And it made me very determined to learn how to fix it. With rejection number 5 also came advice from Michelle Styles about synopses and about the actions and reactions characters take. Another piece of the jigsaw fell into place.

This time I sent off just a synopsis, after much hard work. Didn't get a rejection this time but a warning - think about your characters. You are not telling the story of a particular conflict, you are telling the story of two people. So who are these people? Why are they the way they are? Why are we even interested? And more light dawned. Conflict and character suddenly became much clearer. I felt I'd taken another big step forward. So finally I wrote the partial and sent it off.

I'd love to end this post with a full request but I can't since I don't know yet. However this time I'm taking nothing for granted. I may still be missing a part of the jigsaw, one I can't see yet. But one thing I'm sure of, if that very first ms had been accepted, I would be struggling to write a second. I have learned SO much in the past year though the rejections I've had that I truly don't know if I would have had a second accepted. The rejections have been horrible, gut-wrenching and depressing. But they've also been amazingly helpful, encouraging and focussing, and I would not have learned all that I have if I hadn't had them.

Of course if this partial is rejected, I will give up. Okay? Cause one can only love rejections so much. ;-)

(Yes. I'm kidding. So far).

Putting the E Back Into Sex

The E is the emotion I'm talking about, not some...um...other E. Ahem, moving right along, MH is a very sexy line. Lots of opportunities for action. And personally I really like writing a good love scene. I tend to put a lot of sensuality in mine to really build it up. I've been told by the ed I write a good one too (blows own trumpet here 'cause someone's got to!) which is pleasing.
So when I was told the emphasis was too heavy on the sex in the last reject, I was puzzled.
Hey, I thought. Whaddya expect? It was a once night stand, ergo, sex. Anyway, you liked the writing, so what was wrong with it? Too much heat? Or didn't the one nighter work out? Did they get together too quickly? What? What exactly did you mean by 'too much emphasis on sex'??

The problem, gentle reader, has only now sunk in. Having borrowed Maisey's editor decoder ring, I went back over the rejection letter and there it was in black and white - there was no emotion in the scene. What? No emotion? There was plenty! They enjoyed themselves didn't they? Oh sure, but we're not just talking pleasure here, we're talking emotion that is related to the conflict. As Michelle S told me, every scene has to forward the conflict on some level, and that includes the love scenes. So I quickly looked at the rough draft of my Cat/Sean ms to see what I'd done with the love scene. I'd really gone to town with it and it was pretty sexy but sure enough, I'd made the same mistake. No conflict!

Doh!

Glad I picked that one up huh? So how to put conflict in a love scene? Pretty much the same as you do with every scene. What's their conflict? How does that come out during love making? What kind of action would the conflict impel them to take and what would the response be and why? So I've got a guy who likes control with a woman who threatens it. And a spontaneous, impulsive woman who wants an emotional connection with a guy who is trying to deny it. Don't know about you, but I can see all sorts of possibilities there... :-)

Anyway, I think the real reason this has taken a while to sink in for me is that as a writer I am the queen of understatement. I don't like writing OTT emotional reactions, especially during love scenes. Which is why I didn't put them in. But, as one of Trish Wylie's lessons pointed out, you can never be too obvious. So I'm going to have to give up my love of the understated look or the many layered piece of dialoge and just be straight up. And boy are those two going to have emotional stuff going on in their scene - I'm going to wring that baby dry.

But if the ed wants to read it, she'll have to ask for the full. ;-)

BTW guys, the old sex without emotion thing was one of the problems the eds mentioned with many of the entries from the last competition. So the lesson is, yes, you can have the sex, but make sure that conflict is front and centre in the scene.

The Joy of Rewrites

You may have noticed that I'm not updating my word count bars (or you may not have. You may have better things to do than to check my word count bars!). The simple reason is that I am rewriting and find it too complex dicking around with existing word counts as opposed to rewrite word counts. Anyway, what has been interesting for me is not so much the word counts as the rewriting part. And it's brought me face to face with the reason my revised full was rejected last year.

I didn't rewrite enough.

What I tried to do was to put entirely new conflict into an existing plot structure. I went so far as to write new dialogue and even changed how a scene went. But what I should have done is REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING!

Yes indeedy folks, that would have been the answer. Why? Because with with new conflict, your character becomes a different person. And therefore they would have different responses. Which may mean some scenes are no longer relevant. If you have an existing plot structure, the temptation is to try and keep it, no matter that it may no longer work. And that's when you run into problems because then you start trying to force the characters into behaving the way you want them to instead of how they actually would naturally.

Ah well, I guess that's all part of the learning process. And the main thing is that I now have no qualms about starting from scratch. What I need to do is instead of putting new bits into the old, I need to start with a fresh slate and, if appropriate, but old bits into the new. It certainly has been working for me so far. I am rewriting another favourite ms of mine that will be my next sub and certainly starting afresh seems the best way to tackle it. That way you're not trapped by the stuff you've already written. Starting it new leaves you wide open for all sorts of possibilities.

So how does everyone view rewrites? Is it a chance to make your story stronger? Or is it something that would give you nightmares?

Bad Boys

Here's an interesting question for you: what bad stuff do you think a hero can get away with doing?

The crit group and I were discussing this as I have an ms with a bad boy in it, a bad boy who has left all the bad stuff behind physically but not mentally. Now I'm talking about his teens here, where he went off the rails and got into some trouble. He pulled himself out of it and is now a successful businessman (aren't they all?) but he still feels guilty about this stuff - especially as the heroine persists in thinking he's a great guy but doesn't know about some of the things he did (no this is not the whole of the conflict by the way, it's just a layer).

What I wanted to know was what's acceptable in terms of 'bad stuff'? Obviously violence towards women and kids is a huge no no. So what else? It has to be something that he would feel very bad about but not serious enough to warrant being arrested and going to jail for years and years. And clearly needs to leave him still feeling awful as an adult. The crit group gave me some great ideas but what I'd like to know is what is your particular line in the sand? Is it drugs? Violence (unfemale related)? Alcohol related crimes? Robbery?

Or is it all in the execution?

Kreativ Blog Award

Both Kaily Hart and Romy Sommer have nominated me for a Kreativ Blog award - thanks for the kudos guys! - so I'd better get on with it eh? I have to reveal 7 interesting things about me and pass it on to 7 other bloggers. Righto...

7 interesting things about me (well, at least semi-interesting):

1. I took singing lessons and entered competitions (wearing my Doc Martens) when I was in my 20s. Singing opera. Needless to say I don't sing any more, except to my iPod and not opera. I actually still like opera but these days I'm a bit more alternative. ;-)

2. I am a gadget girl (surprise, surprise). Love my iPod, my iPhone, and my PC. I'm now after an ereader.

3. I play computer games. Not so much these days now I write, but I used to love playing The Sims and any fantasy adventure game. I also quite like playing Halo on the xBox (but only with my friends whom I can shoot).

4. I used to swim competitively in my teens. And I hated it (though I still love swimming for fun) which is why I quit.

5. I can ski moderately well. A fact that continues to surprise me whenever I put on a pair of skis as I'm useless with most sports!

6. I love reading Science Fiction. I have umpteen dozen beginnings for many SF stories but never finished any of them. Combining SF and romance would be the best. Sadly M&B have no SF Romance category.

7. I travelled quite a bit when I was overseas years ago. The most unusual place I went to was St Petersburg for two weeks. This may or may not be interesting but I don't meet many Kiwis who have been to Russia.

Seven blogs to nominate (and I'm nominating people here who may not have had this award yet):

Lorraine Wilson
Rachel Johns
Maisey Yates
Joanne Cleary
Judy Jarvie
Suzanne Jones
Lacey Devlin

Heeeerrrre's Jackie!

Hey everyone, I'm back. After 10 days of sea, sand, sandcastles and waaaay too much bubbly, it's back to reality again. To the right there is a small picture of Pataua, the little beach settlement where my husband has a family beach house. It was built by his grandfather way back in the 1930's so it's no palatial mansion. It's what we call a typical Kiwi bach - no TV, tank water which means no showers, no broadband (sniff), and a long drop loo. Oh, okay, there is a flushing loo there now but the long drop is still going. ;-) Anyway, it's pretty much fabulous, made even better by the fact that my iPhone still appeared to receive emails! Yes, I am a very sad person that I cannot even be away one week without checking.

The other sad thing about me is that I cannot even be on holiday without writing. I finished re-writing the rest of Cat and Sean's story while I was away. I just got all inspired. It requires a tremendous amount of editing but the bones are there which is very cool. AND I got a new story idea too. Great holiday or what?

I also did some reading and may I say that Natalie Anderson's To Love, Honour and Disobey (out on ebook via M&B UK) is one fabulous read. Really believable characters, great conflict, fab story. So go out and buy it. Yes, go on. Right now. :-)

As for me, I now have to decide which of my many projects to get on with. I have five... ;-)

Chocks Away!

It's done. Cat and Sean are winging their way to London. Hope they like it over there. Hope the ed likes them. They're really a lovely couple. Much nicer now I know them properly. Sean has been re-alpha'd because the ed warned me not to make him too good. And Cat has been de-immatured.
They have issues though, issues they really need to work through, and I hope they get the chance for their HEA.

Seriously, one thing I'll say for this partial is that it's waaay better than the last one. At least, I think it is. And that's mainly because I know my characters a lot better. Those character bios were a godsend and I can't think why I didn't do them earlier. Maybe one day I won't need them but for now, until I get a handle on this conflict drama, I'll do one for each new story. Before I start writing.

Right, so now I can kick back and relax on the beach holiday we're going on tomorrow. For maybe five minutes. :-) Will get web withdrawal I'm sure of it - which is why I'll be visiting the local WIFI hotspot frequently. Am also taking my trusty laptop so I can rewrite the rest of Cat and Sean's story in the hope they'll want the rest of it. Nothing like starting 2010 with a bit of optimism!

Hope you all have a lovely week or two. Here's to NTAI!

New Year's Eve vs My Partial

Right, well, I suppose I should be thinking about resolutions and whatnot, it being New Year's Eve today. Thing is, I'm not paying attention to anything much (including the kids) because I am totally immersed in fiddling with my partial. In fact, I'd like to give New Year's Eve a total miss so I can get this sucker done and away before we head up north. Is that sad or what?

Anyway, I suppose I should get into the spirit of it and list my goals for 2010:

1. Get published.

2. Get published.

3. Get published.

4. Get published.

5. You getting the idea?

6. Get published.

7. I think you are by now.

8. Get published.

9. Eat chocolate (fooled you there for a minute).

10. Yep, you guessed it, get published.

Here's to a very happy 2010 for everyone! May we all realise at least one of our goals. I can definitely predict that number 9 on my list will come true. :-)

The iPhone Cometh

Yes indeed, Dr Jax came through. There was a large box waiting under the tree for me on Christmas Day and Dr Jax told me to be careful with it as it was heavy and fragile. I was a bit suspicious because he sometimes tricks me by putting small boxes in large ones and I was hoping that the large box was a trick. But then it was very heavy. So I was putting on my determined 'so it's not an iPhone but I will like whatever it is if it kills me' face while I opened the box. And inside was a heavy, rusty piece of iron grille. And underneath that was the iPhone.
My hero. Sigh. :-)

And I had another piece of happy news on Christmas Day too. I had emailed my completed character bios to the editor the night before and was not expecting a reply until next week at the very earliest. But in my inbox on Christmas Day (yes, I turned my PC on, on Christmas Day. Yes I am sad) was a reply saying she'd read them and thought they were good! And that my conflict looked fine and I was to send through my revised synopsis and partial!

So big relief for me. Finally I have some characters that will work and a conflict that looks good from the editors point of view. There were a few issues that she told me to keep an eye out for but I'm hopeful I can avoid them. Now all I have to do is to write a partial that she likes! Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Yeah, right. :-)

Hope everyone's Christmas was a happy one and here's to a New Year filled with what you love to do best.

A Good Old Kiwi Christmas

That blaze of red right there folks (image to you right) is the flower of the Pohutakawa tree, NZ's Christmas tree. And see that beach beyond the flower? That beach (oh, okay, not that particular beach but one fairly similar) is where I'll be the day after New Year. Beaches, sun, sand and Pohutakawa trees are the vital elements of a good, old Kiwi Christmas, which, I know, is inconceivable to all you folk buried deep in the snow.

Well, can I say I'm envious? I'd love a white christmas, I really would. I did live in London for a few years but even then we didn't ever have a truly white Christmas. But then again, there is a certain something to sipping Christmas bubbles on the deck in the sun in your t-shirt and then perhaps going for a post-prandial swim... I guess it's all in what you're used to.

Anyway, I'll be be around until after New Year (still waiting on my character tweaks) and then I'll be up north at the beach where there is NO INTERNET! I do not know how I will cope. I'm hoping Santa will bring me an iPhone for Christmas so I won't be completely cut off...:-)

But the point of this blog post (yes, I do have one) is to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and New Year. Here's lots of lovely Kiwi sun and warmth coming to all those in the cold, and to those in the Southern Hemisphere, let's hope it doesn't get too hot!

Dr Jax Stages An Intervention

There I was, throwing myself dramatically on the floor, crying that I couldn't do it, sounding remarkably like my four year old daughter, when Dr Jax at last arrived home from work. Honestly, I don't think he knew what to make of it. No, that's a lie, he knew exactly. I am the biggest drama queen in the world when it comes to my writing. When it's not going right, NOTHING is right. I can't concentrate on anything, I can't do anything, I am a grumpy, horrible, whiny person. Dr Jax knew immediately what the problem was though and, luckily for myself, and for my CPs, he decided to stage an intervention before I bored them all senseless with endless emails of whiny, moany drivel.

Yup, you guessed it, heroine problems. I had changed her conflict so many times it was just one big mess and I couldn't think my way out of it. It's at times like this when I need a cool head to talk me through it and my husband is just amazing with stuff like that. Ten minutes later, a strong martini in hand, I was finally getting to the root of my problem - at least according to Dr Jax.

My heroines, he said, are too perfect. They have no dark sides. Which is very, very true. Not to mention the fact that they are defined by their conflict - like their personalities and their lives are totally formed by that one event. Argh!

However, it's not all bad. After a long talk, aided by more martini and the wonderful ideas and suggestions from my fabulous (not to mention very patient) CPs, I have finally got an idea for a conflict for my heroine. It's not exaggerated (I hope) and she has a personality outside of this
one conflict. I even managed to give her some weaknesses. Woohoo! She's becoming a person! Now all I need to hope is that the editor agrees with this new idea.

So three cheers for Dr Jax. I told him that he could do a guest spot on my blog and everyone could write in with character questions that he could answer. He told me that finally he knew the real reason he went into psychiatry: to help me write my romance novels. :-)

Anyone else had any breakthroughs this week? Or has it been full-on, kicking and screaming on the floor frustration?

Heroines Behaving Badly

I am going spare trying to figure out the characters of my new submission. The editor has asked me to do character bios of each of them in an effort to get me to focus on characterisation and it's driving me crazy! I think I've got my hero figured out but my heroine refuses to play ball. I have no idea why I can't write her but it's incredibly annoying. Why are women so difficult?? :-)

Anyway, for those of you thinking the editor is gently holding my hand, no she is not. She called my heroine childish and immature, not to mention unnattractive. No words have been minced there. The really irritating thing is that the ed is right. I don't think Cat is like that in the partial but the fact remains that her conflict is only half thought out. Which is my fault.

It wasn't all bad. She liked some of the actions my characters took (which is solely down to Michelle S's expert advice) and she really liked the central theme. Which is why, I'm assuming, she is giving me the chance to do this story but with fully-fledged characters.

So, I have sent her some more ideas about the backgrounds for both characters and she said she'd get back to me with tweaks. Haven't heard yet but since then I've gone through yet another set of ideas for my heroine. I am now officially sick of her.

The problems I'm having though are mainly because of the way I write which is writing my way into my characters. They have a half thought of background when I start but I don't know really what they're all about until the end. And that is not working for me clearly. I need to know all about them from the first page. I need to forget about the external conflict that brings them together and start from a core of internal conflict, building the rest of the character around that. And I need to do that before I start writing because working backwards like this is very, very hard. It's hard because I'm desperate to keep some of the things the editor liked but I'm not sure, given my heroine's new background, whether she would still act in the same way. And if I'm not sure, then she probably wouldn't, which means I'll probably have to change those bits. Changing bits the editor liked is NOT easy but then again, acting unbelievably is one of my heroine's main failings so therefore I have to change them. Argh!

Okay, I'm now officially, officially sick of my heroine and am going to take the day off her. Big hugs to all of you who got the dreaded R from the competition. Remember an R does not mean you or your writing sucks. It just wasn't the right story.

On Contests

I wasn't going to weigh in to the fray with the palaver happening on the I Heart Presents site, but I wanted to say a couple of things in response. No, not controversial stuff, there's enough of that floating around at the moment I 'm thinking, it's just something to think about.

I pretty much just wanted to remind everyone that a contest win doesn't automatically equal publication. Nor does a contest placing. If it did, I'd be published by now. All a contest is, is a faster-than-normal submission process. If you'd worked hard on your chapter and synopsis, and subbed them the normal way, the response you would get would be exactly the same. Some will get requests and some will get rejections.
Oh, but you say, didn't the winners get an editor for a year? That's different from the normal sub process. Well, actually no it's not any different. Because it's been a year since my contest placing and I am still working with an editor. And I was working with an editor before my placing too so me getting runner up in Feel the Heat really had nothing to do with it. It got a manuscript seen faster probably but that's it. They're not going to publish me because I got somewhere in a contest, they're going to publish me because I can write a book they want to publish. I know, it's all very well for me to say that but if you don't take my word for it, take Maisey's. She submitted through the slush, spent a year working with an editor, and sold. That's the prize right there, no contest required.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't need a contest placing to win the prize. If the editors see potential, they'll want to see more of what you have. And people always forget that even when you do get to have that wonderful feedback, it's not the end. No, it's just the beginning of how hard you need to work. Winning an editor for a year, whether through the slush or the contest, means a year of slogging your guts out. And even when you do slog, you may not be published. Because that last part - writing a publishable book - is all dependent on you, your ability to take criticism and your skill as a writer to apply it to your manuscript, not a contest placing.

No part of this process is easy. Contests are great ways to polish up something for a deadline and get a response to a submission quickly. But they are not the only way. Keep submitting. That's all you can do.

Presents Competition - Congrats!

Hey, big huge congrats to the winners of the Presents Writing Competion! To get so far out of so many entries is a huge acheivement. Chocolate martinis and champagne cocktails all round.
Especially to fellow aspirant MH author and MH winner, Gill (AKA Jilly). I've only just met you but your talent is truly inspiring. Can't wait to read the book!

In other positive news, I have heard back from the ed. She wants me to send her detailed character back-stories for Cat and Sean before a partial and a synopsis. So I'm still in the game here! Now this is something I should have done way back when and just didn't because I'm so damn impatient to get to writing the story. No longer!

So this weekend is my time to sort out just who my characters are. I'm going to write detailed backstories for them, why they are the people they are when the story opens. Very excited as this feels like I'm finally getting to the root of my problems with conflict...

More next week!

Romance Writer, Amateur Psychologist

Why psychology? Because I got feedback about my synopsis and, yes, there were problems. Guess where my problems were? Yup, the evil heroine strikes again! Hero had potential, heroine...childish and immature.

Groan! I'll be honest here, I did wonder when I was writing this story, whether her conflict was right. Halfway through the book I was going um...not sure about this...but I persevered hoping it would fix itself. But it didn't. So Jackie's number one rule is going to be: Go with your gut! If it's not working for you then it's not working full stop!

Right, so where to from here? Well, I'm going to go with fixing this one because in spite of evidence to the contrary, I do feel like I'm getting there with fully backgrounding my characters. Kate, for a start, is much more fully realised than Cat is. And that's mainly due to me thinking long and hard about Kate before I started writing. Plus, I like this story.

What I should be doing is taking advice from all you people who do character sketches before writing. Either that or I do what I usually do which is to write my way into my characters, finish the ms, and then write the synopsis. Impatience is my besetting sin and does not help in my writing!

The one thing that does console me is that the editor did tell me that writing romance with psychologically compelling, believable characters is very, very difficult. Hear that everyone? This is HARD stuff we're doing. We have to have strong conflict but it has to be light and flirty. It has to extend to 50k but you can't have any external conflict. It has to be sympathetic but not too specific. It has to have the fantasy factor. These are not easy things to accomplish. In fact, I was having a moan to a good friend of mine who is very, very literary and she said, 'Actually, what you're writing is very difficult isn't it?' And I thought, no kidding! Category romance is a tough beast.

Anyway, the other thing that keeps me going is this: the ed told me that my writing was all there and that once I got the characterisation right, I'll be away.

So, you see, I simply have to keep going. :-)

The Red String Bracelet Or The Problem with Quirks

Thanks everyone for the great input on my last post! Got some great ideas. You rock, did you know that? Anyway, still on the subject of my difficulties with heroines, I had a bit of a brainwave today. It actually happened while I was doing a pilates class (as you do). I realised that in order to do some of the exercises, I was over-compensating for my weak arms by using my shoulders, which are really strong. I know, what's your point Jackie? Well, the point is that I am doing something similiar with my heroines. In order to cover my weak character development, I have been over-relying on quirks to make my heroines different.

Kate is a case in point. She started out a hippy because I didn't really understand conflict at the time and making her a stereotype was an easy way of characterising her. Bad move. And I think that's why I'm finding it difficult to get a handle on her now because once I take away the stereotype, where is my character? In stripping her of her quirks (eco beliefs, nose-ring) I've exposed the fact that she has no real conflict. She's just a cardboard cutout. So I have to go back to basics, dig deep to find out who she is. Build up a real background with real problems.

Once I've got that, I can add those quirks back again - but only if they are true to the person she is now. Because although quirks aren't bad, if you're going to use them there has to be a reason for them. I think I've mentioned this before in other posts but if, for example, you take the time to mention your heroine's love of sparkly red shoes, you should then also explain why she likes them. Is she like Dorothy and they represent escape? And if so, what is she escaping and why?

Kate, for example, has retained one of her old quirks (no, not the nose-ring). She wears a friendship bracelet of red string around one wrist. Now, in the old draft there wasn't any reason for behind this, she wore it because I put it there. In the new draft however, she wears it because her brother gave it to her before he left to go overseas. She hasn't seen him in years and for her, it represents his connection to her. And now, because I've linked it to her conflict, it also represents the family that she once had and loved, and that is slowly slipping away from her. Now, I'm sure Alex will make a comment on this bracelet and perhaps it'll come to mean something for him too. Perhaps, once I write the thing, he'll help Kate to change its meaning so that it doesn't represent what she lost, but what remains strong. Because he has his own lesson to teach her, just as she has something to teach him.

Anyway, all this has been great distraction from the waiting. So, anyone else have a problem with unexplainable quirks?

Difficult Heroines

Right, well, no news for me this week. But I'm good with that. No, really, I am. Patience is a virtue and one I'm slowly learning. Certainly Maisey's 20 month wait for her Call is a fantastic lesson in good things come to those who wait. So I shall continue waiting.

In the meantime, I am wrestling with Kate. She's my hippy heroine who now isn't so much hippy as an architect of eco-friendly houses. And I'm wrestling with her because I am having a few problems getting a handle on her character. Does anyone else have this problem at times? Now she's an architect instead of a protestor, her character has - naturally enough - changed and I can't seem to figure her out. I had to change her from my FTH entry because in that story she had no conflict at all and - I have to admit - did come over as a little bit shrill. And as Alex is, in my updated story, quite a strong alpha, she does have to hold her own against him. So far she's managing to do that but in a quietly strong way, which surprised me because I had imagined her as fiery. But no, apparently not.

One of my problems, see, is that I write myself into my characters. The more of the story I write, the more they reveal themselves. Which is great if it wasn't for my anal-ness with regard to first chapters. I really, really like to have my first chapter as done as it can be before I write the rest of it. It's the set-up for the whole book you see and if it's not working, I can't write the rest. If I have a good first chapter, then the rest of the first draft can be as dirty as it gets, that doesn't matter, just as long as that first part is done. But if I write myself into my characters, I usually don't know much about them in the first chapter so sometimes their character is 'off' and hence the first chapter doesn't go well. You see my conundrum? So with Kate, I'm really finding it difficult to progress the story because I can't get past my first chapter difficulties with her.

However, in the interests of progress and getting words down, I have pushed through my first chapter woes and am writing further on in the hope that Kate will stop being such a changeable little thing and settle down. In fact I often do this too, just push through. Sometimes I'll even skip a scene that isn't working and go on to the next one. This can work well as usually the scene I'll have problems with either turns out to be unnecessary or different in some way that I wasn't aware of until I skipped it.

So what does everyone else do when they have problems with their ms or one of their characters? Long wistful walks in flowing white gowns through fields of sunflowers? Cleaning the shower? Throwing yourself dramatically on the couch and declaring you're a hopeless writer, you'll never get anywhere and you don't know why you bother? *puts up hand*. :-)

This Is Why We Do This - Congrats Maisey!

We do this so that one day we might actually be published authors. Like Maisey Yates. This damn fine woman got the call yesterday and I would just like to sent out a huge...

(no, get your mind out of the gutter)...

WOOHOO!!!!

Presents/Modern's brand new author is not only a very cool person but a great writer too. It's enough to make a girl simply green... ;-)

Well done, Maisey. Can't wait until your book comes out!

Why Do We Do This Again??

I should imagine that I'm not the only aspiring romance author who is feeling sick at this moment in time. Hands up all those who entered the Modern/Modern Heat writing contest! It's a horrible feeling eh? Knowing a decision is being made, one that is all about your hopes and dreams, and knowing that you will have absolutely no control over it. Gah, it's enough to make anyone reach for the bucket.

So why am I sick? Well, I didn't enter the contest but I have heard that the lovely editor who is (un)fortunate enough to read my stuff is getting to my synopsis this week. So every morning I open my email program with huge amounts of trepidation. What I'm hoping for is a 'yes, this might work if you change this, this and this'. What I'm terrified of recieving is 'never on God's green earth would we want to publish this tripe'. Because no matter how good we think our story is, the fact is that we don't know until the editor says yes. I think my story is good, at least I really enjoyed writing it and it was certainly better than the last one. But who knows? There may be some kind of fatal flaw in it that I haven't spotted.

Anyway, the annoying thing is that usually the best way to cope with these sick feelings is to write something but I can't concentrate on writing anything at the moment. Grump. Grump. Perhaps taking Great Uncle Visa out for a little tootle round the shops is in order. Sadly he hasn't recovered from the last pair of NTAI shoes I bought so maybe I'll have to go easy on him.

So, what do other people do to when they don't want to think about what's going down over in Richmond?