Wherefore Art Thou Chapter?

My chapter is missing. I have emailed Anna to ask her what has happened to it but as she won't be back in the office till the 30th, I haven't had an answer yet. This is my contest entry chapter I'm talking about. Don't they understand that millions of people are waiting with bated breath for this to appear? Don't they know that my inbox is groaning under the weight of the hundreds of thousands of emails that people are sending me asking me, "Jackie, for the love of all that's holy, where is your fabulous chapter? We're desperate to read it!"
Well, okay, maybe not millions, or even hundreds of thousands. Maybe five. But still.

The longer it takes, the more embarassed I feel about it. I've learned so much since I wrote it that all I can see are the archetypes I made my characters and the great, gaping holes in the conflict. Oh, what am I talking about? There wasn't any conflict! At least not good, internal, Modern Heat conflict. Ah well, c'est la vie. At least it will be a good example to others about what NOT to do. :-)

Aaaaanyway, now I shall resume twiddling my thumbs, whistling tunelessly and not managing to write a word while I continue to wait....

Caving in to My Mother

Yes, I finally did it, I gave my mother my ms to read. Seeing as how she is the orgininal Ashenden, I thought she'd better have a look just in case it actually sees the light of day and on the off chance she didn't want her name being attached to anything she didn't like. I did feel compelled to tell her that it had 'sexy bits' in it. She just gave me a slightly exasperated look and said, in very dry tones, "It's not like I don't know anything about that, Jackie." Cue nervous laughter from her daughter.

Anyway, am feeling totally weird. I know everyone said to relax before the revisions come but I just can't. I keep thinking about the ms and wondering if the things that are wrong with it are the things that they thought too or are they something completely different! But that's a rhetorical question and a pointless rhetorical question at that - no way of knowing until I hear back. Currently the ms is in its fifth draft (whenever I make significant changes I always save it in a new draft so I can go back to the old one if need be) so you can see how many times I've changed the wretched thing. The main problem is that I'm retro-fitting an older ms that I wrote before I had a real idea about conflict. Consequently I had to redo the conflict which means heaps of rewrites. So hard! I probably should have put in the story I wrote for Nanowrimo instead. That's all done and semi-polished and the conflict is much better. Ah well, too late now.

Being a Militant Romance Writer

We've been having houseguests, very old and very dear friends who are extremely supportive of my writing. However, they do not have a romantic or sentimental bone in their bodies and think romance as a genre is... Well as one of them put it: "who reads that sh*t?". Whereupon I climbed up on my soapbox and delivered a stern message about who exactly reads that sh*t (academics, lawyers, supposed literary types) and what the purpose of said sh*t is. Poor guy, after my lecture, he just shook his head and told me that he just didn't get it. Fair enough. I don't get people's fascination with reading sports books. In his defence, he did proof a synopsis for me when I put in my very first partial and did not laugh or poke fun or anything like that. He proofed it well, asked me questions about it and took it seriously. So I forgive him.

Anyway, everyone else I know has thought the whole me writing romance thing fantastic. There has been no scorn poured, no mickey taken, no lip curling. I have had the odd 'so are you going to write anything else?' question but apart from that, the response has been great.

Anyone else had similiar experiences when asked what you write? Or have there been the odd person who has veiwed romance writing as similiar to admitting you like to pull the wings off flies now and then or you drown kittens in your spare time?

One Step Closer

Okay, I cannot believe the speed with which this has happened but I got an email from Anna this morning telling me she really liked my full ms! Woohoo!!! Excuse the exclamation marks but, y'know, I'm quite pleased about it. She was very impressed that I'd taken on board their suggestions, that hero and heroine were characters in their own right and not just the way they were to serve the plot (note to self, conflict driven not setup driven!), oh yes and she liked the ending.

Anyway, there are some revisions I need to do concerning the pace, the motivation and the conflict - not much then! - which she and Jenny will forward to me at the beginning of February. Argh! Can't wait to get my teeth into it though. I knew after I'd sent it that more work was needed and I'm just so pleased they going to give me the opportunity.

So, I am officially not stressing about it - until revision time! :-)

Heroes I have Known...

I've been having crap sleep at the moment, mainly due to my OCWD (obsessive compulsive writing disorder) and stressing about what I should have put in the ms that's with M&B now. Usually I try to distract myself by thinking about my current wip instead but last night, I got to thinking about all my previous stories. These are ones that myself and a friend used to write and swap. They were romances that were written totally for ourselves, with no guidelines to follow or editors to worry about. Totally self indulgent but absolutely fabulous to write.

Anyway, I have to confess that I totally fell for the hero of the last of these romances. Absolutely and completely. I like a gorgeous, bad, self tortured hero (their redemption is so much more poignant) so I made him gorgeous, bad, and yes, I tortured the hell out of this poor guy. I put him through the emotional wringer. The worse his behaviour, the more self tortured he got and the better I liked him (yes, I am a sadist to my characters, the poor dears). Anyway, he got his HEA in the end but I have to admit that I was sad to finish writing about him. And I wish, wish, wish, I could put him in one of my M&Bs but sadly, he's too mad, bad and dangerous to know for the guidelines (okay, so not mad but you know what I mean). Maybe one day I'll polish that ms as a single title and sub to...somewhere. But until then it remains on my PC, my secret treat that I read when I need a dark hero fix. I should move on really, but I do find that parts of him creep into my Modern Heat heroes, every now and then...

So, what about anyone else? Got a favourite hero that you can't forget?

Being Obssessive Compulsive

It's true, I am absolutely obssessive compulsive about my writing. I was told off yesterday by the husband for spending the weekend in front of my computer. I'm trying to make this a full time job you see so the plan was to limit writing to during the week, just like any other job. However, unfortunately the way I work doesn't quite fit in with the 9 - 5 model. When I have a new idea or get really into a current one I HAVE to write. I simply don't want to do anything else. If I'm forced to do something, my head will just not be on anything other than the story I'm thinking about.
No wonder my the husband was annoyed with me. Since trying to write full time, he's probably wondering where on earth his wife went!

Anyone else write like this? Or is it just me??

Congrats Lucy!!

Just want to add my congratulations to Lucy Roberts who has just sold to M&B Modern Heat. As the winner of the Feel the Heat competition, her sale was kind of in the bag just a bit. :-)
Way to go, Lucy! The rest of us are simply green - in the nicest possible way of course.

Meanwhile, back in the good ole Southern Hemisphere, the crows of doubt have been at me. Couldn't sleep last night due to a sudden realisation about something I missed out in my manuscript. Is it something that they would reject it for? Who knows?? I'm now sure I'll be getting the big R anyway. Think the waiting on this one isn't going to be as easy as I thought. I have just read From Slush to Shelf, which is an article about the path of a full manuscript when it reaches Harlequin M&B. Methinks I shall be waiting a looooong time....

Gwendoline Quadd

I was tidying up my disaster area of study yesterday and discovered an old note with some names on it. Took me a while to figure out what it was but then I remembered. About ten years ago, when I was but a youngster, I had an idea I'd try writing a Mills and Boon. This was greeted with much mirth by the family (we'd had a few wines) who then decided to find me a pen name. In fact 13 pen names. As follows:

Millicent Moncrieff
Winona Wycliffe
Prunella Essence
Margaret Offenburger
Olga Spratt
Mabel Tallstorei
Amelia Blyndsythe
Thomasina Pratt
Petronella Pedal
Pamela Pooch
Petronella Wibbley
Eva Glockenkoff
And my personal favourite - Gwendoline Quadd

Was I an idiot? Oh yes, indeed. Not unexpectedly, my pen name is/will be (if the gods of romance are kind) none of the above. I'm going be the relatively staid Jackie Ashenden. The Ashenden part is my mother kindly letting me use her maiden name - thanks Mum. I could use my own name which is Coates but it didn't have enough flair. There's my husband's name (which I didn't take) which is Vroegop. Maybe there's a certain je ne sais quoi about Jackie Vroegop which I'm not aware of...? :-) Anyway, anyone else going to use a pen name?

It's Gone

Have sent off the manuscript and it has been received by M&B. They said they'd get right on it ASAP. I am preparing for a six month wait at least.

Now what am I going to do?

Perhaps I shall entertain myself with Confessions of a Slush Pile Reader.

Back to Work

Am now back from a week and a half of lazing around doing nothing at the beach. Fantastic to have some time off but am now distinctly unmotivated. Have no resolutions to speak of and am heartily sick of the manuscript I have to post to Anna at M&B. Read the hard copy while I was away and have come to terms with the idea that it is now TOO LATE to do any rewriting. Sigh. It's due on the 15th so only enough time to correct spelling mistakes and then concentrate on my least favourite task: the synopsis.

Oh well. I did in the end give it to a romance reading relative while away. She liked it - at least she told me that she didn't even get up to get a sandwich because she was right in the middle of it, even though she was really hungry! Oh, and she liked the sex scenes too. Which is good to know. No one wants to know they write a bad love scene...

Anyway, does anyone else give their stories to friends/relatives to read? My mother is hassling me to give it to her but I'm not sure about her reading it. Especially the naughty bits!

Happy 2009!

New Year here in NZ and it's a gloriously hot and sunny day. Hard not to feel that this is going to be a good one...
We're up north from tomorrow for another week and a bit of holiday. Manuscript is all printed out and ready for proofing, and the little PC is packed and ready to go so I can edit. Mustn't tell all the rest of DH's family (who will be on holiday with us) that I have my ms with me otherwise they will demand to read it. Worse, in a moment of weakness (after a few wines, let's say) I may let them!

Note to self: must not work on fabulous new idea until present story is complete. Actually, that can be my New Year's resolution: I should be faithful to the story I'm writing now and not go off flirting and having lots of fun with exciting new ideas...

Anyway, hope everyone has a great New Year with lots of good news for those of us who are sending or are going to send submissions out!

And for those pondering the age old question: can a man write Mills and Boon? Here is the answer...

Titles that Suck

Yes, it's true, the title of my ms sucks. No, I shall not reveal it on grounds that it might incriminate me when the time comes for it to be taken to the Bad Titles Tribunal and judged as to its overall suckiness. Sadly I am useless when it comes to thinking of titles for my stories. I either know it immediately or I don't and I end up with something embarassing. Part of me doesn't care since if it gets bought (oh please, please, please!) they'll give me a title anyway.

One thing is for sure, at least, if it does get bought, I won't have a cover as bad as these ones. A couple of them appear to be Harlequins sadly.

Anyway, hope everyone had a good Christmas and that their New Year is just as good.

Not Looking

Nope, not looking my manuscript until next week. I am officially sick of it. I wonder if published authors feel this way just before they send off something?

Anyway, Christmas will be the perfect break - especially as we are going to up north to the family holiday home, which is on the beach (see picture right). It would be nice, just once, to have a white Christmas but unless the gods of weather have a complete and utter fit, it'll be sun and sand for Christmas Day.

Happy Christmas everyone.

Second Draft Complete!

I wasted precious hours today reading a manga romance online (damn you Smart Bitches!) . Apparently Mills and Boon publish some their romances in Japan as Manga but this was definitely not one of them. Though it was very Presents with an arrogant boss and a shy secretary. Boss turned out to be a vampire though so it was kind of a weird love child of Presents and Nocturne. Very strange but oddly addictive.

Anyway, as I said, hours wasted! Hours of precious non-kid writing time! Argh! But, still I finished the second draft. Only have cut a measly two thousand words now to get it under the 55k limit. Easy. Ha.

Pulling on My Waders

So I can wade through the rest of this damn book! My word count is sky high and will no doubt get longer. The doubts are also setting in. In particular, I'm worried my hero's conflict is too complicated - I'm a terrible complicater when it comes to emotional conflict, adding bits to it, more strands. Another result of starting off with a great set-up and then trying to mould the conflict to fit it. Number one golden rule from now on: conflict first! You'd think I would have learned by now...

Anyway, getting this thing done proves again a nice piece of advice that Felicity (one of the other Modern Heat runners-up) gave me, that was given to her by another author: enjoy the time before you get published because you will never have the freedom to write what you want once you do. Certainly the further along the path you go, the more stressful it is and the less freedom you have to abandon a project that's been requested if you don't like it (though you could I suppose). I was certainly less stressed when I was writing for my own amusement!

Then again, writing is what I've been wanting to do since forever so I'm certainly not stopping now. And if you need another reason, see here. The rest of the literary herd may look down on us romance writers but I betcha we sell more than they do!

Bogged Down

Knew it would come to this. Doubts already and I'm only up to Chapter 4! And I'm finding myself unnecessarily sensitive when it comes to criticism of my baby. Normally I don't have a problem with people telling me what works and what doesn't but it feels different now that this one has been requested. Probably due to the five week deadline, which doesn't leave a lot of room for lots of rewriting! Okay, have to tell myself that I can't please everyone and that there will always be people who won't like my writing or a particular story. Fact of life. Just have to go on with what feels right for me and my characters I guess.

Not that I don't have fabulous CPs! Guys, just so you know, it's me not you.

Finally! Consultation Achieved

Okay, so I got my call from Anna last night. Woohoo! She was very, very nice and we had a great chat - after the initial weirdness of long-distance calls between complete strangers! Basically she just asked me if I had any questions about the comments she had emailed me earlier and I did, but not as many as I thought I should have. Does that sound odd? It's a bit like swotting for an exam - you don't know what you don't know until you're right in the middle of it and then your mind goes blank!
Anyway, the upshot is that although they thought I had done a good job with revising my contest entry, it still wasn't enough to support a whole ms. I'm good with that, it means I don't have to write the damn thing. But the best part is, Anna wants to see the full of the other partial they were considering! Yay, huzzah, and all manner of cheering nonsense! Good thing I've actually got a full for this one eh? I made her give me a deadline because otherwise I'll be fiddling with it for months so I am to send it to her on the 15th of January. Got heaps of revising to do and suddenly the pressure is on. But she did tell me to email her with any questions so I'm really happy with that - I'll try and keep questions to a minimum of 5 a day.
So, looks like I'm going to have a busy Xmas! Forgive me for having a tiny moment of smugness when I say that she said some very, very nice things about my writing (it was a pleasure to read she said) and that I definitely had 'something'. Now it's up to me to get that 'something' into a sale.
No pressure though.

The weight of the wait...

Sorry, sad play on words there. Two days to go and am editing my Nano. Aren't I a good girl? However things have been made more difficult by the crash of our home backup server. Along with many WIPs, my working copy of Kate is now inaccessible. I am stupid. I should have backedup the backup! Anyway, my husband is now under sentence of death unless he can extract all the data. With any luck it won't be corrupted and all will be well. On the bright side, it means that I can't get out the document, look over it and agonise over all the things I could have done better...

On that happy note, and in the interests of time-wasting, here is an adorable link to Pride and Prejudice told by Facebook newsfeed. Weird huh? But very cute. And here, also, is Hamlet.

And if that doesn't provide at least a couple of seconds of amusement, you can always play dress up with your own Regency hero or heroine (links thanks to Smart Bitches - a fab blog if you like your romance with a healthy dose of snark).

Wating, waiting...

Waiting until Thursday (the call, though not, sadly, The Call). Apparently I will be emailed some 'points to consider' before then but until that happy day, I am waiting. I could polish my Nano WIP which is in desperate need of attention or I could...play with my blog instead!

To that end, and getting inspiration from my favourite online read The Guardian, I give you Writers Rooms...or at least, this is my study. The unearthly glow is not divine inspiration (alas!) but the window getting in the way of my shot. You can compare my terribly unminimalist space with Jane Austen's...

Maybe greatness is acheived by having less crap...

Can you think of a title?

For the cover of this Mills and Boon book? The Guardian is running a title competition and the prize is The Art of Romance, a book full of Mills and Boon cover art. The Millionaire Pilot's Innocent Virgin Stewardess anyone??