When Your Characters Scare the Pants Off You

Screamy is scared

I really love my sheikh but honestly, in the process of rewriting Mr Sheikhypants, he and the wretched heroine decided to go to a place I was NOT comfortable with. And no, it wasn't Huntly (though they do go into the desert, which is also not comfortable). It skated close to a line that pushes all sorts of hot buttons and to be honest, I REALLY didn't want to write it.

Which meant, of course, that I HAD to.

I'm always of the opinion that if it's scary to write and you don't want to go there, then you have to write it.  Believe me, the times I haven't gone there and pulled the characters back, have been the times when the story gets derailed. It becomes mediocre and flat. Because you can't trick your characters. They want what they want and if they don't get it, they get pissy with you and just lay there like cardboard cutouts.

So, I anyway, I wrote the scene they wanted. And it was intense. And I'm scared to death of keeping it in because it could be a rejectionable offence. But it could also be the scene that sells the book. Oh and also, if I take it out, their whole relationship falls apart since they needed that scene to happen in order to fall in love.

This is why pushing those boundaries they're always talking about is hard. Because you don't know which side of the boundary you're standing on and it could be the wrong one. But it's also why you have to write those kinds of scenes and not pull back. Those scenes are the ones that can be the most emotional, the most wrenching, the ones that take your book from being 'okay' to 'unputdownable'. They're not easy scenes to write and they shouldn't be. The best ones never are.

Of course, I don't know what side of the boundary I'm on but I do know that the scene was intensely emotional and I cried  while writing it so at least that's one person who likes it. :-)

So I'm going to advise you to write the uncomfortable scene. If your characters want to go where you're afraid to take them, take them anyway and don't pull back. Ignore the voices that are telling you the hero/heroine can't do that, that it's not PC, that it's not sympathetic. Just write it, push it as far as you can. Then see what you have. Pulling back is easier than ramping up and if you don't go as far as you can, then you don't know how far it actually needs to go.

It's scary but it's worth it.

So have you ever had characters do something that scares you? Did you let them do it?

Ten Things I learned at the RWNZ Writers Conference

1. The sky is NOT falling. The future for authors is bright because the world will always need stories and stories never die (Randy Ingermanson).

Carol Marinelli, Frances Housden, and Amanda Antonio at the dinner

2. Eloisa James is who I'd like to be when I grow up. Inspirational and funny and shared hot NYT author bestselling tips. The most important of all being: the bigger you are the harder it gets and the harder you have to work.

3. There must be something in the water in London because every single M&B ed that I've met is drop-dead gorgeous. And also extremely, extremely nice.

4. Sophia James must be a long-lost writing sister because her pantsing method is exactly the same as mine! Hot tip for layering your story - make sure you have questions in the first five chapters of your book. Questions that jolt the reader with surprise, that make them curious, intrigued and want to know more about your characters.

5. That I am crap at talking myself up and telling people what I'm good at. I totally blame the fact that I'm Kiwi.

My third place certificate!

6. That no one cares about you or your book. You have to make them care. And that like it or not, you have to sell yourself because your publisher won't do it for you these days. (Randy Ingermanson).

7. Over analysing your five minute pitch to DEATH afterwards is not helpful.

Jilted!! At the RWNZ Conference!!

8. Hotel staff blush very easily when they walk into a room to change the water just in time to hear about an  intimate sexual encounter being read aloud. Note to hotel staff - don't run out of the room because you will be laughed at.

9. It is possible to get a coffee stain on your name badge EVEN when it is totally encased in plastic.


10. That your writer friends are awesome and belonging to your national writing organisation who puts on conferences like these is a very, very good thing indeed.

And because everything ALWAYS goes up to 11... (hands up if you're a Spinal Tap fan?)

11. That my mother is the greatest for looking after my kids while I was at conference (in the absence of the good doctor), for putting on my electric blanket when I came home exhausted, and for making me soup so I didn't have to cook.

RWAus12 - The Pantomime

I think I said 'the musical' last year so this year it's a pantomime. Sorry, I'm not going to sing or dance. That would be far too much. But I shall post photos instead. Had the bestest time evah on the Gold Coast for the Romance Writers of Australia conference. My third year and this time I had a bright shiny (okay so it was blue and not shiny) first sale ribbon to stick on my conference badge!  As you can see I look rather tired - I blame Rachel Johns and Pink Ladies at the cocktail party the night before... Anyway, the conference was fabulous. Had a great time catching up with the lovely Rach and Bec, meeting again fabulous Madeline Ash, Helen Lacey, and Leah Ashton. Saying hi to fellow Entangled peep, Annie Seaton. Also meeting for the first time Fiona Marsden (sharing our love for Maisey Yates' tortured heroes) and Melissa Smith.

The workshops too were interesting, with Eloisa James giving a very inspiring keynote speech about putting your emotion in your writing.

One thing especially stood out this year and that was the sense that there were a lot more options for unpublished authors than there ever has been. Editors were actively selling their publishing houses to authors in a way I haven't seen before which was actually very exciting and I think contributed a lot to the positive feeling of the conference.

What else happened? Well lots. I lost my phone twice. Yes, twice. I know, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde, once is a tragedy, twice starts to look like carelessness (or stupidity depending on your pick).  I went to the theme parks and screamed on the rollercoaster (it was a very small rollercoaster and my six year old did not scream). Dr Jax dragged me along to a timeshare presentation purely so he could get cheap tickets to Seaworld which meant I was almost late to my agent pitch appointment. Luckily I made it on time and got a full request for Mr Sheikypants from said agent. Dr Jax was forgiven...

And now I have to gear up for the RWNZ conference this weekend, where I get to pitch to an M&B editor but since they already have Monseiur Sheikh, I have no idea what I'm going to say. I guess 'hi' would be a good start. :-)

Sorry if I've left anyone out of my shoutouts. Suffice to say that I really enjoyed meeting and talking to everyone at the conference and can't wait till Perth next year!!

It's Conference Time

Well, I've been a bad blogger. Haven't been posting much but in my defense, have had lots on with getting Mr Sheikhypants into a fit state for sending, while angsting about my next Samhain submission and also the editing of the next Indulgence that I'm planning to send off soonish.

Oh and in the middle of that there's the Romance Writers of Australia conference that I'm going to and then the week after that the New Zealand Romance Writer's conference. Not to mention Dr Jax being an international jetsetter and flying off to Milan in a week or two - without me, I may add.

It's all very busy. 

Hopefully when I get back from the Gold Coast I'll have some good goss to relate and blackmail pics to post. I'm pitching to an agent there - first time evah! - so wish me luck.

In the meantime I'll leave you with a link or two:

This is to the Hot Pink Typewriter where fellow Indulgence author Victoria James is talking about torturing your characters. Okay, so she doesn't put it quite like that, but that's the essence of it. And since she posted this the same time I was putting my sheikh through the emotional wringer, I thought it was very appropriate.

Also see here, where the fabulous and talented Maisey Yates has her story of selling to Berkley with a cowboy story! So proud of you girl!

Ummm...and that's about it. Might do a post later about what to do when your characters take you places you really don't want to go (not looking at anyone in particular Mr Sheikhypants!). Should you go there or rein them back??  (I let him go there and still can't work out whether that was a bad thing or not).

 Have a good week, y'all.

Oh, I'm on Fire

A few people have said that I'm on fire recently and I graciously took the compliment, feeling pleased with myself. Little did I realise that that my hotness would soon spread to other areas - namely Dr Jax's man-shed. In other words, we had a fire last week and poor Dr Jax lost his shed.

 I'd come home late from seeing a friend and the hubs and I were cursing the neighbours party because it was loud and we wanted to sleep. Then there came a hammering on our back door. Thinking it was the neighbours being drunk and obnoxious, Dr Jax sallied forth to tell them to get lost. When he didn't come back inside I thought it was odd. Then I heard crackling. I went to the back door and well....there was his shed down the back of the garden, flames shooting out of the roof!

The neighbours far from being drunkenly obnoxious were hammering on our door to tell us the shed was burning down and they'd called the fire bridgade.

It was actually pretty bloody scary. The firemen seemed to take forever to get to our house and in the meantime Dr Jax had got out the garden hose and was waving it futilely at the flames. But by this stage the trees were alight and we needed some big blokes in firemens outfits with big hoses (no double entendre intended hehe).

Eventually the firemen came but it took them a good 30 minutes to get the fire under control and then another couple of hours to make sure it was fully out. The neighbours hung around and took videos on their phones (as you do) while I angsted about the huge wooden chest of photos - 20 years of them - that was on the mezzanine floor of the shed. No doubt lost, I thought. Until the firemen hauled the chest out, charred and burned, and opened it up to find all the photos completely perfect (except a little water damanged).

Anyway, the fire inspector seemed to think that the fire had started with a laptop that had been left on. Not quite sure how it had spread, whether it had sparked or burned the desk underneath where it was sitting, but I guess that's something we may never know. But you know the first thing I did while the firemen were putting out that fire? After thanking God that no one was in the shed and that our kids were safe (they slept through the entire thing) I ran up into our house and quickly emailed the WIPs I'd been working on to my Gmail account! You can tell where my priorities lie right?

Did get me thinking though. Dr Jax lost his computers - this photo to your right is the remains of one. The charred stuff on the top is the keyboard. But the majority of the important documents on them had been backed up to our home server. But then, what if it hadn't been our shed that burned down? What if it had been our house and the home server with it? That would have been a whole other story but it just goes to show that sometimes even backups to home servers or to memory sticks or discs can be lost just as easily as if your work was on your computer.

I think the best answer to this is cloud storage. Which is why I now make sure to back up my files to Dropbox - also very handy when swapping files between computers. Backing up is very easy, especially when the alternative is losing all your writing... The trick is remembering to do it.

Anyway, that's my excitement for the week. Time for a beer! (yes, those are beer bottles that somehow survived). Anyone had a similiar experience?

Giveaway winner - The Boss and Her Billionaire

And the winner of Michele's book is Jess A!!  Jess, can you either contact me with your details via the 'contact' form on the blog. Or leave a comment below.  Congrats!

Mr Sheikhypants Goes Through to the Semi-Finals!

In keeping with the Olympic theme of the post before, before last, I'm delighted to announce that Mr Sheikypants, the Presents ms that I won a pitch with on eHarlequin, has had a full request! *happy dances*

Needless to say I am thrilled. It's been a while since M&B have asked for a full from me so I'm feeling extremely pleased with myself. There are still a few issues with the partial which I'll have to address but since the ed was absolutely clear about what they were, I'm hoping fixing the problem won't be too much of a mission.

But I'm feeling just a tad overwhelmed since the ms requires quite a bit of rewriting - which I will have to fit in with my contracted stuff for Entangled and my next Samhain submission.

Never rains but it pours eh? So let that be a lesson to you all, you have to be ready whatever happens because when it happens, it HAPPENS!

PS: will be announcing the winner of Michele's book soon - leave a comment on the previous post to be in with a chance. Will draw names on Saturday!

Giveaway - Michele de Winton and The Boss and Her Billionaire

Doing another giveaway today - for a fellow Kiwi and Entangled author Michele De Winton.  She's talking about receiving the magic Call. Leave a comment for a chance to win her fabulous book, The Boss and Her Billionaire. This is currently burning up the Barnes and Noble charts so get in quick before they're all gone! Ahem...no, they won't be all gone of course but you know what I mean. ;-)

It’s what we all want isn’t it? The trilling of the telephone, probably at night, when we’ve settled in with a glass of wine (or one of Jackie’s magnificent cocktails) and that nice warm glow is starting to coat our skin.
You pick up the phone, expecting the neighbour to be complaining about how your dog ate their rubbish again and instead you get:
“Hello? Is that my all time favourite debut author? I just loved your submission and I can’t wait to make you so famous you’ll have to hire an assistant to keep track of all your fan mail. Oh, and when you’re ready I think we should talk about film rights.”
Dream.
Okay, so I don’t know any publisher that would start a conversation like that. No one knows what is going to make a best seller. If they did publishing would be a lot less challenging (and probably slightly boring) and there wouldn’t be so many self help books on how to write a best seller. Doesn’t stop us all dreaming though ;-)
There have been three memorable ‘calls’ for me. My very first publication call was for a short story. It was a finalist in a competition, along with the stories of EVERYONE in my writing group and came out in a neat compilation book. Rather than making it less special though, the shared glory was, well, glorious. And it was the first step in me believing that writing really was something I could do.
The second call was for my first novel. The managing editor from my mainstream publisher called me himself and I could tell he loved making these calls. Unfortunately for him I was in a meeting and had to hold back my excited yelping until after I left the building. I called him back and we had a little on-the-phone happy dance together in a stairwell. Well I happy danced. He probably chuckled.
And when I finally ventured into romance and signed with Entangled Publishing for The Boss and Her Billionaire I didn’t even get a call. I got an email. A shiny, happy dance email. That one was a bit of a dream. And a bit of right time, right place. I submitted. An editor came back to me within a week asking for the whole MS and then they accepted it really quickly. As it was the first romance I’d ever written I was over the moon. It had a few holes in it (no doubt because of my lack of experience in the genre.) But they have worked with me to hone it to its shiny steamy self. Now I’m doing quite a lot of happy dancing as I watch the rise and rise of the Entangled Publishing catalogue – and my book with it.
I guess that’s the thing about doing what you love. When you put yourself out there and someone comes back confirming that the thing that you love is something they love too, it’s magic. But even a small confirmation is enough sometimes. If you’ve been writing for years and feel like you’re never going to get anywhere maybe it would be helpful to stop a moment and check out just how far you’ve already come. Because if you keep writing, keep honing your craft, you can’t help but improve. And maybe with your newly trained eyes you might see the holes in something you wrote years ago. Take it out. Shake off the dust. Fill in the holes. And submit it. Getting a short story published was enough to make me keep going. And going.
For you it might be something different. But I think the call is waiting out there for most of us. What do you think? Would publishing a short story be enough to make sure you didn’t down your pen again? Or will nothing less than selling a novel suffice?
Thanks for stopping by
X Michele


 
Cruise director Michaela Western has everything she wants—everything except a sex life. But there are no secrets on cruise ships. She risked her job once for a dalliance with the Captain, and won’t do it again for a few minutes of toe-curling pleasure. Until a devilishly handsome new staffer with a body made for sin tempts her to walk on the wild side...

Investment billionaire Dylan Johns always gets what he wants. He is used to giving orders—not taking them—until he’s forced to go on hiatus from his investment company. To bide his time and carry out an old dream, he takes a job on a cruise ship—and ends up taking orders from his gorgeous, but uptight, new boss. He is determined to loosen her up with a fun onboard romance, but their no-strings fling turns serious and Dylan is forced to confess his lies.

When the affair threatens to shatter Michaela’s own career dreams, she finds herself caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Buy Michele's book here:

Amazon
Barnes and Noble 

Contact Michele here:

 www.micheledewinton.com
http://micheledewinton.blogspot.co.nz/
https://twitter.com/MicheledeWinton
http://www.facebook.com/michele.dewinton

Cover Squee!

Okay, I can finally post my Samhain cover! Woots all round!!  I can't tell you how exciting this is and I just love it. LOVE IT!!

Is it not gorgeous?? It's got my name on it and everything!

Publication as an Olympic Sport

Congrats to Gillian who won a copy of Robyn's wonderful book! I'm also going to be running another giveaway on Wendnesday for a fellow Kiwi and Indulgence author, Michele de Winton so be sure to check in then for a chance to win her book too!

In the meantime, I've been watching the Olympics (and no not just the men's swimming, though....phwoooarrrrr...hehe..) and all the commentary about the self belief and determination that athletes have to have etc, etc has got me thinking about that in conjunction with writing and getting published.

I mean, it really is an Olympic sport isn't it?

If you're exceptionally  lucky you might win gold on your first go and that's fantastic. But if you're like the majority of us it'll take a lot longer than that.  In order to get that coveted medal - a contract - you have to have the kind of focus, determination and self belief that top athletes have.

I have never thought of myself as being a particularly determined or self confident sort. I'm actually full of the insecurities that most writers have, that my writing sucks and no one will ever want to read or even, God forbid, like it. But what I've always had is a healthy dislike of being told what to do, especially when someone tells me 'no'. When someone tells me 'no', I just have to go out and make them change their minds. This made me hell on wheels when I was a kid (yeah, I was a whiner, no surprises there eh?) but it helped a lot when it came to getting published.

Last year I pretty much lost a lot of belief in my abilities as a writer. Every single day I thought about giving up - I kid you not. But dammit, I just couldn't. I couldn't let 'no' be the final word in my writing journey. I couldn't let all the grief the rejections caused be for nothing. I had to keep whining to the grown-ups for my ice cream and I didn't want to stop until they gave in and bought me one.

I leaned pretty heavily on my wonderful CPs in the interim and had lots and lots of moans about how hopeless I was. That was my way of dealing with the feelings of frustration. But that stubborn, whiny  determination kept me writing, kept me learning my craft and kept me sending out stuff. And I guess, deep down, I did have enough belief in myself that I would do it eventually. 

Sure enough, a couple of publishers gave in to my whining and now I have my ice cream. ;-)

So what about you? What keeps you hanging in there on your writing journey? Is it the dream of winning gold? Or something else?

Robyn Thomas and His Unexpected Family - Giveaway!

So proud today to introduce my CP Sister and all round fabulous lady, Robyn Thomas. Her debut book has just been released from Entangled and it is awesome!  You can win your own copy here if you leave a comment! *promos shamelessly* :-)

I’d like to thank Jackie for inviting me here today to chat about my debut book His Unexpected Family. I’m so thrilled that we’re both writing for Entangled Publishing’s Indulgence line.

For this post I’m going way back to the beginning of this book’s journey. It’s hard to believe now, but there was a time when I struggled to come up with story ideas.  My inspiration wasn’t lacking in the usual sense, it was simply offering story ideas that didn’t match what I was *meant to be writing. (I had the dreaded combination of an editor request that was quite specific and a perpetually blank page.) As panic began to set in, I looked inward and found my answer.

It was so simple that it was almost scary. Instead of looking at the request as a directive to write a particular type of story, I’d build my kind of story around an issue that mattered to me. In this case: grief and starting over.

I find that people are fascinating when they’re really up against it. It’s not possible for them to hide who they really are, and yet I love to watch them try. No-one wants to be vulnerable, and it’s tempting to hide behind humour, sarcasm or rudeness. Ren and Cole from His Unexpected Family are all wrong – and so right – for each other. They’re both wounded and defensive, and progress for one means a setback for the other. Receiving conflicting messages from their head and their heart, makes them blunder and stumble and question everything. And, for me, that’s delicious.

What do you find delicious to read (or write) about? Leave a comment for your chance to win a copy of His Unexpected Family.

Sometimes you have to take the leap…again.
Newly widowed with a new baby, Ren Jamieson is putting her life back together after her thrill-seeking husband’s death. But when she’s called to show a high-end property to a prospective client—a commission she desperately needs—she meets a man who makes her pulse pound like nothing she’s ever known…
Cole Matthews is more than he seems. Real estate is only part of the reason he’s in Australia – the other is to see Ren, and make amends somehow for the life lost. The last thing Cole expects is a woman whose humor, sweetness and sexiness give him a rush greater than any he’s ever experienced…
Torn between her growing feelings for Cole and the risks of loving yet another adventurer, Ren will have to choose between keeping her feet on the ground…and taking the most dangerous leap of her life.

Get the first chapter here!

Buy it here:
From Barnes and Noble
From Amazon

Visit Robyn here!


Robyn's Bio:
Romance and fairytales are the best ingredients to work with because they go with absolutely everything. Inspiration for new recipes is everywhere I look, and who wouldn’t want to pursue a career where the only limit is your imagination?
I remember making the decision to write my first book, but since then writing has become more of a compulsion than a choice. It’s less about having complete silence, a gorgeous work space, a free hour or two, and a steaming hot coffee, and more about getting my fingers to the keyboard any chance I get. The coffee helps, though.

I live just outside Melbourne with my wonderful husband and two sons. Writing romance helps to balance the effects of living in an all-male household. I love to cook, hate to clean up, and keep very odd hours. My writing days used to be solitary, but they’re not anymore. I now have Seven Sassy Sisters online, and their friendship and support is invaluable.

First Cover Sighted!

Hanging around in this sold-but-yet-to-be-published limbo is weird. You want to yell about your books but you can't yet because they're not out. And they won't be out for another six months at the very least. You kind of want to keep going 'hi, remember me? Yeah, I sold. But my book isn't out for six months okay so be sure to remember that. February. Make a note in your calendar. Yes, next year. Six months. I know but be patient.'

Basically waiting is the one constant in the whole publishing process.

In the middle of all this waiting is some good stuff though - I got to see the first version of my cover for my Samhain book! Reader, I cried. Yes, hearing I'd sold didn't make me cry (I was too busy hyperventilating), getting the contract didn't make me cry, but seeing that cover with my name on it in big, shiny letters...  And it's a FABULOUS cover. Not just because it has my name on it but because it's actually really, really beautiful. I mean, if that was someone else's book I'd be going wow, that cover so makes me want to buy it.

Anyway, I can't show you the cover yet but since Samhain is really a well oiled machine, I won't be surprised if I get a final version soon-ish and then I can squee and wallpaper the internet with it.  Hehe.

Which brings me to my question of the week - what sells a book for you? The cover? The blurb? A review? Bribes of chocolate from the author??? *stands by with pen ready to take notes while staring at cover again*

Giveaway at the Sassies - His Unexpected Family

I can finally announce that Robyn's debut release for Entangled Indulgence is live on Amazon!  We're having a giveaway at the Sassies in celebration so do pop along and leave a comment to be in the draw.

I'm going to be having Robyn here on the blog with another giveaway in a few days so keep your eyes peeled for that one too.

Friday Indulgence - Chocolate Martinis

As you know, the role of the chocolate martini has a historic place in my writing career and been the pick-me-up of choice when it comes to the hideousness of rejections. I've even doled out several (virtually) to lots of writing friends. So now is the moment when I can finally share with you Dr Jax's ultra secret recipe* so you can make it yourself. Only catch is you'll have to go to the Entangled Indulgence blog for the receipe. Hehe. But hey, Hoo's there too!

*Hint. Containts vodka and chocolate. :-)

The View from the Other Side

I've actually been waiting to post on here a while because I wanted to do a Happy Release Day post for my lovely CP and fellow Entangled Sister Robyn. But due to technical difficulties, we'll have to wait a little bit longer for that.

So I thought I'd write intead about being on the other side of the publishing fence and what's different about it.

Nothing as it turns out.

Hehe. Actually, that's not strictly true. My inbox is a lot fuller of author loop emails than it used to be. And I guess the fears about writing have changed a little.  It's not not so much 'will they like my writing' as 'will they like this new story'. There's a bit of that 'difficult second album' thing going on.

I've finished the first draft of my next Indulgence and am now working on the next book for Samhain. Both are proving bears to write. I somehow thought the writing would all get a lot easier once I was accepted but turns out not. I'm worried my ed won't like my next Indulgence book as much as the first - I wrote the first one a while ago after all. And I'm really worried my Samhain ed won't want to buy the one I'm going to send her because, well, it's got angst up the wazoo and is totally crazy. I went a little 50 Shades on it even. 

I guess the fears never end do they? They just get a little different.

What is weird is being a published author and yet not having a book out yet. I've got six months to wait until my Samhain book is released and then another few months after that before my Indulgence book is good to go (though release dates for that are yet to be finalised).  Which is SO LONG! Argh! And yet part of me is glad of the wait because I'm not sure if I'm ready for reviews and all the stuff that comes along with complete strangers reading your book. Especially the bad reviews and I will get 'em because if I've learned one thing from the New Voices comp it was that not everyone likes what you write.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I should be posting crafty-type stuff but instead I'll leave you with a link to an awesome post by Maisey on balancing internal and external conflict in category romance. It's really good. In fact, I heartily recommend you ask her questions in the comments if you have any because she is an expert in this type of thing.

And when you've done that, go here to Brenda Drake's blog. She's running a pitch competition with the Entangled eds for all the Entangled lines. First 200 comments and they're up to 163 already so get thee hence quickly! I'm recommending this because I sold to Entangled through a pitch competition so it's worth a crack!

Also if you've got a question about pitching or about Entangled then feel free to ask me!

The Trick is to Miss the Ground - Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Writing Again

Okay guys, I've been wanting to write this post for weeks now but I had to wait until I'd signed the Samhain contract. It's about my first sale and why writing for yourself is so important.

As you all know, I've been aiming at Mills and Boon for years. I had some success early on but basically, because I knew NOTHING about the craft of romance writing, I wasn't able to follow up on the editorial input I got. It was incredibly frustrating. Then, back in 2010, I decided I really had to figure out what all this conflict/character/structure/plot crap was instead of just ignoring it and letting my instincts do my writing for me.

Learning craft was very, very hard for me. I'd had 20 years of writing purely for my bad self but writing for publication is different to writing just for your own pleasure. I took one or two courses but they didn't really work for me because I don't really learn like that. I struggled with figuring out how to apply them to my own writing. I struggled to put the lessons into practice. I basically just struggled.


The end of 2010, beginning of 2011 was a killer. I won an Aussie contest and got a request but then this and another partial was was rejected and I got sent back to the slush instead of working with an ed. To say this sucked was an understatement. I'd had a couple of years of working my butt off trying to figure out what they wanted from me but I hadn't managed to give it to them. This wasn't their fault. It's only now I can see that the reason I didn't get anywhere was because I still hadn't got the craft stuff right and it was majorly messing with my writing ability. I'd lost my voice in other words.

By 2011 I was second-guessing everything I wrote. The process had become a nightmare. Did I have enough conflict? Were my characters acting inconsistently? What the hell was GMC and did I need to know? Did I have too much exernal stuff going on? Was it flirty enough? Was it too sexy?

I'd lost any pleasure I had from writing. I hated it. Basically I wanted to give up.

My CPs and my family told me I needed to go on. I needed to keep going. That I'd got too far too give up now. And because I'm actually quite a really stubborn old cow and  I HATED the thought of giving up, I decided they were right.

So I got back in the saddle. Being the glutton for punishment I am, I decided to keep trying with M&B but to write something a bit different from the Modern Heat/Rivas. So I wrote a Presents. It wasn't anything particularly different and despite the dread of putting myself out there again, I entered it into an NZ contest. I finalled with it. This was the first positive writing thing that had happened since I was slushed and - I'm not ashamed to admit it - I cried! I didn't get anywhere with it alas and I didn't get a request which was gutting, but it was a sign to me that maybe I didn't actually suck after all.

After that, I wrote another Presents and entered it into yet another little contest. This time it won. By this stage I was looking at the Presents I was writing and trying to figure out what I was doing right this time that I hadn't before. I wasn't holding back on the angst that was for sure and I really liked that aspect, but it still felt hard.  Anyway, I had a great conference year that year. Two great pitches and lots of lovely feedback from M&B about my writing. I was very happy. I'd dragged out an old Modern Heat that I'd rewritten and pitched to another ed from another publishing house. She loved the sound of it and told me to send it so I did.

The conference success was great and I was on a high. But then I got a bog standard rejection for my rewritten Modern Heat from the previously keen publisher and this made me incredibly unhappy. I couldn't figure out what the problem with it was because I received no feedback. Plus, the partial I'd sent to M&B was very hard to write and once again I felt back into the 'my writing sucks' hole.

Which is when I finally decided to take the advice that everyone had been giving me all year but I'd been too stubborn (AKA too dumb) to listen to: WRITE SOMETHING DIFFERENT JACKIE.

Well, something had to change. I either gave up writing or I got back the joy again because my loathing of the process was eating into my stories and killing my voice.

So I decided to write the way I used to when I loved writing, without thinking of craft or whether an editor would like it. Or whether it fit guidelines. Or whether a character had to be sympathetic. Or whether a reader would hate my idea. I threw all of those fears in the bin. I wanted to write what I wanted to write. Something with tonnes of emotion, sexy times and angst. I wanted to put everything I liked to write about in it and I would NOT send it anywhere. It would be just for me.

I had an idea for my heroine that I'd been toying with for a while now but that didn't fit into any guidelines for category - a woman who was recovering from a sexual assault. She wanted to reclaim her sexuality and the man she wanted to help her reclaim it with was her best friend, the one man she trusted absolutely. Friends to lovers is one of my favourite tropes and the theme of recovery from sexual assault complex and difficult and one I'd been wanting to explore for ages. So I decided I'd just go ahead and write it.

Like my heroine reclaiming her body, I was reclaiming my voice and my love of writing. I didn't second guess anything. I just wrote the way I wanted. And I LOVED writing it. Absolutely loved it. My hero was hot and dirty and alpha, and my heroine was gutsy and tortured and strong and it was the best experience.

And somewhere in the process of writing that all the craft I'd been learning just clicked. I didn't think about craft or character arc or goal or motivation or anything while I was writing it, but somehow it just happened anyway.

Douglas Adams in one of his Hitchhiker's Guide books has Arthur Dent learning how to fly. The trick to flying is missing the ground. Arthur gets distracted just before he hits the ground and ends up missing it entirely. I think this is what happened to me. I got distracted, somehow missed the ground and ended up flying. :-)

When I finished writing this book, my CPs told me I HAD to send it out. Since I'd never intended to send it anywhere this somehow made it easier. So I thought I'd give Samhain a go since I'd never sent anything there before. I didn't think it would get anywhere. It's such a hot-button issue and I worried I hadn't dealt with it sensitively enough. But I loved the story and decided to take a chance anyway.  Three months later, the editor sent me an email saying she loved the story too and wanted to buy it. :-)


Just after I finished writing it though, the good feeling I had with that book stayed. And because of it I began to realise what I'd been doing wrong with my M&B subs. The two characters in my Samhain book came alive for me in a way my characters hadn't before and that's what I realised was missing. Decent characters. I'd got it right with some mss - the contest winners - but not others. In others they were a collection of traits, robots going through the motions.

So after I sent my novella to Samhain, I rewrote my old Modern Heat that had been rejected again. I kept my heroine but I finally found the key that made my hero a real pereson. He had ADHD. And this is the one that I sold to Entangled.


There was something so freeing about writing my Samhain book. It was like everything came together in a perfect storm and finally slotted into place. And now everything I write is so much stronger because of that.

I'm so pleased that book was my first sale. It changed the way I wrote and it's the reason for my subsequent sales. If I hadn't written that book, I wouldn't have sold.

So if you've ever got to the same point I did and can't remember why you ever thought writing was a good idea in the first place, try writing just for yourself. Put in all the things you love. Don't think about where to send it. Don't think about an editor reading it. Just write because you love to write. And don't, whatever you do, look down.

If you're lucky, you may just miss the ground and end up flying. :-)







 

More News - Sale to Samhain!

You know that super angsty story that I wrote last year? The one I mentioned in my last post? Weeeellll guess what? I'm finally allowed to say that I sold it. To Samhain!!

Okay. So this is where it gets a little freaky.

The Samhain sale was actually my first sale. I hadn't heard from anyone regarding all my submissions so I was feeling a little down and impatient (okay a lot down and impatient) as I checked my email one morning in bed. And there in my inbox was an email from one of the Samahin eds. It was a personal one, not from their generic email address, so after I stopped breathing for a second, I thought well, it can't be all that bad if it's a personal email. And sure enough it wasn't. But I stopped breathing again when I read the email - it was very short - telling me that she loved the book and wanted to acquire it.

I just sat in bed going 'Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god' over and over and over again. I think I must have freaked out the husband because he eventually woke up and looked at my face and said, "What's wrong?"

 Hehe. Nothing's wrong dude. I just sold my FIRST FREAKING BOOK!!!

The day after that I got revisions from Mills and Boon and two days later I got the call from Entangled.

So when they tell you that when it happens, it all happens at once... they're right. IT DOES!!!

I sold four books in one week. Am I not awesome??? *toots own horn*

Ahem. :-)

Anyway, Falling for Finn will be released in February 2013. And now I can spam everyone with promo! Not. ;-)

I'll say more about this book in a later post because it's a great lesson about what can happen when you let yourself write whatever the hell you want.

So that's my advice to you. Write what you want to write and let yourself go. Because anything can happen.

Bring on the Angst!

The quicksand book is done. At least the first draft of it is. And thank God because I thought I'd never claw my way out of it. Why do first drafts suck so badly??? Anyway, my plan now is to let it sit and fester and while it's brewing away I'll start another book aimed at someplace else. This is going to be hard. Firstly because I hate beginnings and secondly because this book/novella is not going to be strictly category.

I've been writing category style books for a few years now and I actually find the parameters of category comforting. They give you a nice framework within which to work and because I like to twist things, they give you some great conventions to twist. However the end of last year I decided I needed a break from category  and wrote a novella that was category in length and in the focus just on the hero and heroine, but really wasn't in terms of subject matter or language. Hehe. It ended up being quite dark and gritty and angsty and I just loved writing it.

Now I'm looking at writing another one and I'm kind of scared. Because the first one was different to what I write normally, I'm not sure I'll be able to replicate it. I just chucked everything I liked into that first story and it just took off but...Well, this time round it's different. I can't write that first story again so I'll have to chose different characters. Different setting. Different conflict. What if I don't like it as much? What if it doesn't write as easy as that first one?

I found stepping outside the category boundaries easy the first time round because I'd let them hem me in to the extent that I needed to do something drastic to break out. But my writing is different now to what it was then. I don't feel as hemmed in as I did before. So this time I'm not so much breaking down walls as opening a door. And for some reason that doesn't feel quite so easy.

Anyway, I've decided that my chessplayer is going to get the angsty, gritty treatment. Yes, I know, I've rewritten this ridiculous ms a number of different times but it's never quite felt to me like a category book. So I'm taking the hero pretty much as is (minus the multimillionaire bit), giving the heroine some decent conflict and turning it into something sexy and dark and intense. At least that's the idea.

I'm also going to give the heroine a conflict that's quite personal to me. First time ever actually. I hope I'll be able to pull it off.

So have you ever broken out and written something different? And when the time came to do it again, could you??

Getting Stuff Done

This one's for the lovely Scarlet Wilson who told me on Twitter that I needed to blog about time management. And since I always do what I'm told, I thought I'd better go do it. :-)

First up, there are a few things that work in my favour when it comes to fitting in writing around everything else that's going on in your life:

1. I do not have a day job. I'm lucky enough in we can scrape by on Dr Jax's earnings. It's been very hard though and I'm so hoping that I can make a bit of money next year to pay him back for all the support he's given me.
2. My kids are 11 and 6 and go to school during the day. So I have the school day to write. 
3. I write very fast. 

Okay so here's what I have to do in the next few months. I'm just starting out here as a newly contracted author (secret thrill as writes those words) so I'm still as but a learner in the ways of publishing. I've only just got a deadline. My book for Entangled won't be out till probably around spring 2013 so I have quite a while to wait before edits come along. However I know that I will have work to do for something else (of which I can't speak) around September. My first Entangled deadline is not till October but I want to get my second book to my editor by August (conference month) plus there's another book (novella) I want to write and get sent by then too.Which will leave me September free to concentrate on the other work and other stuff I may need to do. It's all about forward planning...

Anyway, with all that in mind, right now I have two books to write by August.  These aren't editor-set goals but my own because I want to get them away before I go to conference and before things hit in September. Now with school holidays coming up, I know I won't be able to do as much as I'd like to so I want to be able to get as many words down as possible now.

So here are my tips for getting it done, in no particular order:

1. Be selfish when it comes to the writing. I am. I always have been. I prioritise it over a lot of other things because it's my passion and my job. I did this even when I was working full time. In fact, I left my day job because I was serious about writing (and I had the luxury of doing so). Yes, it's harder when you have a day job but if it's what you want to do then you'll make it work. 

2. If you're selfish about your writing then you'll probably feel guilty about it as well. I feel guilty about not spending enough time with my family and friends. But then women tend to do that. We feel guilty about everything. If you don't feel guilty more power to you, but I've had to learn to live with mine. Guilt is part of the deal and you either let it kill your writing or you accept it and move on. 

3. Accept that the sometimes the house will be messy. I'm afraid cleaning house is waaaaaay down my list of priorities. If I was working full time I wouldn't be cleaning during the day so why should I just because I work from home?

4. If you have kids then sometimes the TV just has to go on. See #2 about guilt.

5. Know your process and adjust accordingly.  I know I find the beginning difficult but I will get into it by the mid-point. I know I hate first drafts so getting it down as quickly as possible is also good. I know I need to let the ms sit for a week or longer before I edit. Which means I have to give myself enough time for a 'rest period'.

6. If #2 is eating you alive, set aside some non-writing times. At the risk of sounding sickening, I never have a problem with making myself write. I do have a problem with not writing. I'm obsessional when I'm in the midst of a story and I don't want to anything else. So I have to make myself take non-writing time to save my hands and also to prevent my family from killing me. Hehe.
My least productive writing time is at night so that's my downtime. I spend time with family and assuage my #2 issues. ;-)

7. Push through the times when you think your ms sucks and you think it's the WORST BOOK EVA. Whine to your CPs, your husband, your cat. Deal with it however you like. Just keep going and get the words down. You can edit it later.

8. Write every day when you can. I don't sleep in these days so I use the mornings in the weekends to write.

So there you go, that's how I get my writing done.The main thing really is the prioritising it. Then making yourself do it. And also about balancing the things you can live with and the things you  can't. I can live with a dirty house. I can't live with not meeting my deadlines. I can live with feeling guilty about putting on the TV for the kids. I can't live with not writing.

I guess this might seem a little disingenous coming from someone who's only just got a contract. I mean, I haven't had revisions or edits or promo stuff or anything else to do yet, so I don't know how I'll balance it all then. But I'll guess I'll have to learn.

Anyone have any other tips about getting the writing done? Apart from adding a couple more hours to the day??

Quicksand Book

This time the quicksand isn't in the journey ahead, it's in the book I'm writing. And no, I'm not exaggerating. I'm SURE my book is composed entirely of quicksand because every time I open the damn document I get sucked in. And not in a good way. More like a 'help, help I'm drowning!' way.

I don't know why this is. It may have something to do with the fact that this is the first contracted book I have to write and maybe the pressure is getting to me. Or maybe it's the fact that I never thought the first book of this series would actually BE a series so having to write two extra stories, with conflicts I thought up quite quickly so I could get the outlines to my editor (oooh secret thrill!), is making me feel a little disconnected from it. Or maybe it's just that I know people are going to read this book. It won't be my little secret this time. Other people will read it, not just an editor. And they'll be able to form their own opinion about whether they liked it or not. Whether I'm a good writer or not. And to be honest, that's freaking me out just a bit.

I think when you're aiming for publication, you get so set on just getting something accepted and you forget that once it is accepted, people will be reading your book. Oh you can kid yourself that only friends and family will read it but the fact is someone, somewhere will buy your book and read it. A complete stranger. Eeeek!

But then that's the whole idea right?  You don't chase publication because you think you're a crap writer and no one should ever read what you wrote. You chase publication because you think people should read the stories you tell. Because you want to share them. I think it was Yvonne Lindsey who asked me one RWNZ meeting, when I shared how scary it was to send something off after you've been rejected lots, whether I thought other people deserved to read my stories. And I remember how struck I was by the word deserved. And how my gut reaction was 'Yes. Yes they do.'

I think I need to hold onto that thought as I continue to push through the quicksand book.

So what about you? Are you chasing publication? If so, why? Do you think other people deserve to read your stories?? Come on now, don't be shy. A writer has to have some ego otherwise we wouldn't be sending our stuff out right? ;-)